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Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
前情提要...
This is Sheldon's mother Mary.
這是Sheldon的媽媽，Mary
How do you do?
你好
Nice to meet you.
很高興見到你
And, of course, Mom.
還有，當然啦，媽媽
Hello, my hateful shrew.
你好，可恨的悍婦
Hello to you, you wrinkled old bastard.
你好，老王八
Hey.Just got an email from the U.S. Air Force.
嘿。我剛剛收到了美國空軍發(fā)來的郵件
I'm just afraid if I respond, then they'll know I got it.
我害怕，如果我回復了，他們就會知道我收到了
Dude, the minute you opened that email, they knew you got it.
哥們，當你打開郵件的時候，他們就知道你收到了
I mean, they're probably looking at you through the camera right now.Oh, God.
他們可能正在通過攝像頭看你。天啊
I think someone's following us.
我覺得有人在跟蹤我們
Uh, turn left here and see if he turns with us.
在這里左轉，看看會不會跟著我們
Why is he turning here? The restaurant's the other way.
為什么在這里轉彎?餐廳在另一個方向
I don't know. He uses that traffic app.
我也不知道，他有查路況的手機軟件
Maybe there's an accident.
也許前面有事故
Oh, so follow him. Oh, no!
那就跟著他。別啊!
Leonard, if you don't mind,I think I'm a little tired.
Leonard如果不介意的話我有點累了
I'm gonna call it a night.Sure, Dad.
今晚就到這兒吧。好的，老爸
I'm a little tuckered out myself.
我累壞了
Well, I will see you all in the morning.
大家明天早上見吧
Would you like to share a cab?
要一起坐車嗎?
That would be fine.
好啊
Where are you staying? I'm at the Westin.
你住哪兒? 威斯汀飯店
Well, so am I.
我也是
Could I interest you in a nightcap?
要一起喝一杯嗎?
I think that you could.
好主意
Leonard? Leonard? What?
嘿，Leonard？Leonard你醒著嗎?怎么了?
You realize you and I could become brothers.
你有沒有覺得我們可能會變成兄弟
We're not gonna be brothers.
我們不會變成兄弟的
We're not gonna be stepbrothers.
我媽媽也不會給你當后媽
Go to sleep. I hope you're right.
快睡吧。但愿如此
Because a grown man living with his brother and his brother's wife is weird.
畢竟一個大男人，和他的哥哥嫂子同住實在太詭異了
Go to sleep.Okay.
趕緊睡吧。好啵
Do you think your father's doing unspeakable things to my mother?No.
你覺得你爸和我媽，會不會正在做羞羞的事情?不會
Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?
你這么說是不是因為這是一件羞羞的事情?
Your parents are old.
你們的父母都老了
Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30.
他們應該九點半之前就做完羞羞的事情了
Go to sleep. Very well.
趕緊睡吧。好吧
I'm sorry if this stuff is gonna make the ceremony awkward.
對不起啊，我也沒想到婚禮之前會發(fā)生這么奇葩的事
God, I thought my brother fresh out of jail was gonna make everyone uncomfortable,
天啊，我還以為我哥哥剛從監(jiān)獄出來這件事會讓大家覺得尷尬
but now this... Hey, if you want me to sleep
不過現在...喂，要是你們想讓我睡覺的話
you're gonna have to stop talking.
就別再說話了
Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state
宇宙一度又燙又稠密，
* Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait!
140億年前終于爆了炸...等著瞧!
The Earth began to cool
地球開始降溫，
The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools
自養(yǎng)生物來起哄，穴居人發(fā)明工具，
We built the Wall We built the pyramids
我們建長城，我們建金字塔，
Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery
數學，自然科學，歷史，揭開神秘，
* That all started with a big bang
一切由大爆炸開始，
Okay, I'm gonna go pick up my family.
我現在去接我家人
Like an hour and half, two hours, depending on traffic.
估計得一個半小時或者兩個小時，看堵不堵車了
Yeah, drive safe. Oh, hey,
路上注意安全，好噠
and do yourself a favor, all right?
哦對了，先跟你倆說好
When Beverly gets here, do not bring up last night. Beverly
過來之后，誰都別提昨晚的事
All right? As far as you're concerned,
懂我意思?要裝作
you don't know anything,
你們什么都不知道的樣子
you didn't see anything.
你們什么都沒看見
I want you just to play dumb.
假裝自己是白癡就好
It was nice of her to show us playing dumb with an example.
其實她親自給我們示范一下什么是白癡，也挺好的
What? Oh.
你說什么?呃
Hi. Okay, hey there, I got... I'm sorry, I got to go now.
嗨!那個，我..不好意思我得走了
Penny, wait. Why? Penny
你等等，怎么了?
I wanted to thank you for going through all the trouble
很感謝你不怕麻煩
of planning a second wedding ceremony for me,
特意為我重新舉辦了婚禮
but unfortunately I cannot attend.
但可惜我不想參加了
Well, why? What's wrong?
為什么?怎么了
Wha... are we still doing the dumb thing?
什么...我們還在假裝白癡嗎?
Okay, why, what's wrong?
好吧，為什么?怎么了?
I just cannot stay here while your father
我實在受不了你爸了
goes out of his way to humiliate me.
他這么羞辱我實在是太過分了
Oh, golly, however did he humiliate you?
哪有啊，他怎么羞辱你了?
Stop it, Sheldon.
別鬧了，Sheldon
Do I say "Stop what?" Or just throw in the towel?
我是應該說"我沒鬧"?還是可以不用再裝了?
I don't see why I should have to watch your father
我不懂，我何苦要看著你爸
parade around with some Biblethumping bumpkin.
對著一個滿腦子圣經的村姑獻殷勤
Oh, excuse me, that is my mother you're talking about,
不好意思，打斷一下，雖然你說的都對
however accurately.
但那是我媽啊
Okay, Beverly,
好了，Beverly
aren't you overreacting a little?
你太激動了吧?
All we know is they shared a cab and had a nightcap.
他們只不過是一起坐了出租車，一起喝了一杯而已
And turned their phones off.
還都把手機關了
Not helping, buddy.
別幫倒忙了!
Mother, Penny and I really want you to be part of this.
媽，Penny和我都非常希望你來參加這次婚禮
Please stay.
拜托了
Yeah, plus if you leave,
是啊，而且如果你走了的話
Alfred will know he got under your skin.
Alfred就會知道你在乎了
Well, we can't have that.
有道理，這可不行
You know, also, if they did have coitus,
還有啊，他們要是真的性接觸了的話
we'll all be needing a skilled psychiatrist.
我們就真的需要一個專業(yè)的精神科醫(yī)生了
It is funny when you think about it.
仔細想想這事還挺好玩的
Maybe to you.
我可沒覺得
You didn't get a $500 traffic ticket.
你是沒收到500刀的罰單
Because you were driving like a lunatic.
誰讓你開車的時候像個瘋子似的
Hey, if thinking secret government agents
以為特工在追你也能被你講成瘋子的話
are chasing you makes you a lunatic, then... yeah, okay.
那...好吧，隨便你怎么說吧
Oh, I'll get it.
我去開門
It didn't help that you couldn't walk a straight line
交警抓到你的時候，你都的走不了直線了
when the cop pulled you over.
誰也救不了你啊
I have performance anxiety.
我怯場啊
You of all people should know that.Hello.
你最應該知道了，(偶爾怯場表現在性方面)您好
I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz.Howard Wolowitz?
我想找Howard Wolowitz。找Howard Wolowitz?
I have the right address, don't I?
Address? Is he here?
Um... no.
這地址應該沒錯吧?地址?他在這里嗎?呃...不在
Do you know where I can find him?
你知道怎么聯(lián)系他嗎?
May I ask what this is about?
我能問下您找他有什么事嗎?
No, you may not.Very well.
我不能告訴你。好吧
Have him call me.Okay.
讓他給我打電話。好的
Raj, who's at the door?
Raj是誰啊?
That's not him.
那不是Howard
Oh, I can't wait for you to meet everyone.
啊，我都等不及讓你見見大家了
I told them all about you. Like what?
我跟他們說了好多你的事。比如?
Do they know about your brother?
他們知道你哥哥的事嗎?
Uh, not everything, just, like, the jail and drugs part.
呃，也不是什么都說啦，就說點像監(jiān)獄啊，毒品啊之類的事
Why would you do that?
你為什么要說這些?
What? The world doesn't need
怎么了?你用不著讓全世界都知道
to know our problems.
我們的生活一塌糊涂吧
Well, Mom, I'm sorry, but...
好吧，算我不對，但是...
Hey, look, they got Walgreens here, too.
嘿，看啊，他們這也有Walgreens超市呢
You really think it's helpful to change the subject, Wyatt?
你真覺得換話題有用嗎，Wyatt?
Just trying to make this a happy trip, dear.
親愛的，我只是想讓路上這段時間過得開心點嘛
Well, quit it!
想都別想了!
So, uh, Randall, can't believe after all these years you finally get to visit me in California.
那個，Randall沒想到這么多年過去，你終于有機會來加州看我了
Well, good thing I was a nonviolent offender,otherwise I couldn't have left the state.
是啊，幸好我是非暴力罪犯不然的話我都不能離開本州
All right, that's enough jail talk.
好吧，別再說監(jiān)獄的事了
Penny knows where I was; she sent me cigarettes.
Penny知道我在那，她還給我送過煙呢
You sent your brother cigarettes?
你給你哥哥寄煙?
He was cooking and selling crystal meth, Susan,
他可是制毒販毒小能手，蘇珊
I think we can let the cigarettes slide.
煙什么的就不要提了吧
Stop trying to be the cool dad;
別一直在這里唱紅臉
you have a shirt with our cat's picture on it.
你可是有一件畫著家里的貓的T恤呢
Anyway, we're here, slugger.
既來之則安之吧
That's great, now they know where I live.
這下好了，現在他們知道我住的地方了
What are you talking about?
你在說什么呢?
They've always known where you live.
他們一直都知道你住在哪兒
Yeah, if you want to go off the grid,
你如果不想被找到的話
you have to move out of your mother's house.
非得搬回你媽媽的房子里不可了
Can we take a moment to discuss
我們能討論討論剛剛我為了你
that I just lied to the government for you? Yeah.
對政府工作人員撒謊的事情嗎?好啊
I would not have done that for you.
我反正是不會為你做到這種程度的
Howard, please just call the man, see what he wants. Howard
就直接打過去問問他想干嘛吧
All right, all right.
好吧，好吧
Hey,make sure you tell him that you weren't home when he came by
對了，一定要說，他來的時候你不在家
and that your Indian friend gave you the message
是你的印度朋友在你一進家門
the moment you stepped through the door. Yes, hello. Uh,
就把消息轉達給你了。喂，你好
this is Howard Wolowitz for Colonel Richard Williams.
我是Howard Wolowitz給Richard Williams上校回電話
Oh, I take it back, don't mention me.
我收回剛才的話，別提到我
Hi, Colonel Williams, how can I help you?
你好，Willians上校，我能為您做點什么?
What? Oh, uh, yes, he is from India.
什么?對，他是印度人
No, I don't know his immigration status.
不，我不知道他的移民身份
Relax, I'm still on hold!Speaking.
淡定，我還在等著轉接!我在
Okay, sure, I can meet with you on Thursday.
好的，我可以在星期四去找你
Caltech is fine.
就定在加州理工吧
Yeah, and may I ask what this is about?
我能問問這次會面是關于什么事嗎?
I may not?
不行?
That's what he said to me.
他也是這么跟我說的
Here you are, Mother.Thank you.
給你，媽媽。謝謝
I'm glad you decided to stay.
我很高興你決定留下來
It's gonna be special for Penny and me to share this with you.
你的出席對我和Penny來說很特別
I can't wait for this day to be over.
我在這真是度日如年
Yeah, special, like that.
是啊，特別得不行
That's them.
他們來了
Please don't make things any more awkward than they already are.
千萬不要把事情弄得比現在更尷尬了
All right, so less or equally awkward, got it.
那就是尷尬程度小于等于目前狀態(tài)，明白
Hey, guys, come on in.
嘿，快進來
Oh, thank you. Good morning. Morning. Hello.
謝謝，早上好啊。早，你好
How is everyone today?
大家今天過得好嗎?
Good, and you?
很好，你呢?
Good, good. Good.I'm good, too.Good.
不錯，不錯。我也不錯當然了
So, did you defile my mother or not? Sheldon!
你有沒有玷污了我媽媽?Sheldon啊!
You're being rude.
你太沒禮貌了
If I may, I can assure you,your mother and I did nothing more than share a cab and a conversation.
我向你保證你媽媽和我除了拼車和聊天之外什么都沒做
Did that conversation include the phrase
你們的談話里有沒有涉及到
"Your genitals are a joy to behold"? That's enough!
"你下面的溫柔鄉(xiāng)真好看"之類的?夠了!
Look, I promise you, neither I, nor anyone, has ever said that.
我保證，沒有任何人說過這種話
You don't know his girlfriend very well.
那是因為你不認識他女朋友
Or what a joy it is to behold my genitals.
也沒看過我的溫柔鄉(xiāng)
All right, you guys, uh, get settled in,
好了，你們先收拾收拾
then we'll go across the hall and say hi to everyone.
然后我們就去對面和他們打個招呼
You know, It's hard to believe I've never met Leonard.
真是難以相信我竟然從來沒見過Leonard
Well, he probably buys his illegal drugs
這個嘛，大概是他買小藥丸
from a local vendor.
都是找當地毒販子吧
Not funny, Wyatt.
這不好笑，Wyatt
I thought it was really funny. Thanks.
我覺得還不錯啊，謝謝
Well, fine, if everyone wants to make jokes about our problems,
好吧，如果你們都想拿我們的家丑來開玩笑的話
then I can, too.
我奉陪到底
Knock, knock. Who's there?
咚咚，誰啊?
Our family is an embarrassment.
我家就是個笑話
That's not much of a joke. Okay.
這不算笑話，好了
Listen, Mom, I know you're nervous, but I promise you,
媽媽，我知道你很不安，但我保證
no one is gonna judge you or this family. Oh, I'm sorry.
沒有人會對你或這個家說三道四的。對不起
It's just we're meeting Leonard's parents
但這畢竟是我們和Leonard父母的
for the first time,
第一次見面
and... and they're academics and... and intellectuals,
他們都是搞學術的高級知識分子
and I don't want them thinking we're white trash.
我不希望他們覺得我們是白人敗類
Well, what color trash do you think they'll believe?
那你還指望他們覺得我們是哪個人種的敗類?
How could you think that I would spend the night
為什么你覺得我會和一個剛認識的男人
with a man I just met?
共度春宵呢?
A man named Jesus convinced you to build a church in Africa.
誰知道呢，畢竟一個叫耶穌的人說服了你去非洲建教堂
You're kind of a sucker.
你太弱了
Well, nothing happened, right?
什么都沒發(fā)生，對吧?
I... It's over.
一切都結束了
Until we get married a third time,
除非我們結第三次婚
you guys will never have to see each other again.
否則你們倆都不用再見到對方了
Well, you know, actually that's not the case.
這個嘛，實際上不是這樣的
Mary may visit me in New York. Mmhmm.
Mary應該會來紐約看我，沒錯
And he's never been to Texas.
你爸爸也從沒去過德州
Maybe we meet halfway.
我們可以半路上見
What? In the Chattahoochee National Forest in Georgia?
什么?在喬治亞的查塔胡奇國家森林里嗎?
