評論
打印
Hi. Did Sheldon change the WiFi password again?
嗨 謝爾頓是不是又改了無線網的密碼
Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food.She can pay for WiFi."
嗯 現在是"佩妮蹭我們吃的 無線網讓她自己裝去"
No spaces.
沒空格
Okay.If you can't get me to stop eating your food,what makes you think you can get me to stop using your WiFi?
好吧 既然你們都阻止不了我來蹭吃的 你憑什么覺得能阻止我蹭無線網呢
I believe that you're capable of great change.Like when I finally got you to stop saying "Valentimes Day""
我相信你還是會浪子回頭的就像我當初終于讓你不再說"情倫節"一樣
You want to hear something weird?
有件很詭異的事兒想聽嗎
Sure.
當然
In the year 2000,Pope John Paul II was named an honorary Harlem Globetrotter.
在2000年 教皇約翰·保羅二世當選為哈勒姆環球隊榮譽隊員(由黑人組織的一個滑稽籃球隊 巡回作表演賽)
What are you talking about?
你這說的都是些啥啊
You asked Penny if she wanted to hear something weird.
你問佩妮想不想聽一些奇怪的事情啊
Yeah, because I have something weird to tell her.
沒錯 因為我有件很詭異的事情要跟她講
Oh, I thought it was a game.
我還以為這是個游戲呢
What's yours?
你的怪事是啥
There's this guy, Jimmy Speckerman,who used to torment me in high school.
這個哥們兒 吉米·斯貝克曼 當年高中的時候老欺負我來著
He sent me a message through Facebook. He's in town and wants to have drinks.
他在Facebook上給我發了條信息 他就在本市 想找我喝兩杯
Okay, Penny, if it were a game, here are your choices.
佩妮 如果這是個游戲 你有如下選擇
An email from an old acquaintance,or the head of one of the largest religious institutions in the world slam dunking to "Sweet Georgia Brown." Pick.
來自老熟人的一封電郵 還是世界上最大宗教機構的領袖 在《Sweet Georgia Brown》的歌聲中扣籃 挑一個(哈勒姆環球隊的隊歌)
Just do it, 'cause he's not gonna let it go.
選一個吧 不然他不會閉嘴的
Basketball Pope.
我選打籃球的教皇
And that's how it's done.
這才靠譜嘛
What are you gonna do about your bullyer? Are you gonna see him?
那個欺負你的家伙你打算怎么辦 要去見他嗎
I don't know.
不知道啊
Is this the fellow who peed in your Hawaiian Punch?
這就是那個往你的夏威夷潘趣飲料里撒尿的家伙嗎
No, that was a different guy.
不是 那是另外一個
Was he the one who wedgied you so hard,your testicle reascended,and you spent your whole Christmas break waiting for it to come back down?
是不是這個家伙當初提你內褲太過用力 以至于你一個蛋蛋上提錯位 你的整個圣誕節假期 都在等它慢慢滑下來
No, that was a different, different guy.
不是 那又是一個人
Was he the one who used your head to open a nut?
那他是不是那個拿你的腦袋敲核桃的家伙
No.
不是
Oh, oh, oh. Was he the one who made you eat your arm hair?
想到了想到了 他是不是那個讓你吃自己手毛的家伙
No, but, actually,that was this guy's sister.
不是 不過其實 讓我吃毛的是這哥們兒的妹妹
All right, well, what do you think he wants?
好吧 你覺得他想干嘛呢
I don't know.
不知道
You know, the holidays are just around the corner.
你看哈 圣誕假期快到了
Maybe he wants to see if he can lodge the other testicle up there.
也許他想看看能不能 把另一個蛋蛋也給弄錯位了
I told you. That was a different guy.
我都跟你說了 不是這哥們
Hmm. That's too bad. We could have spent New Year's Eve waiting for the ball to drop.
唉 真可惜 本來可以 零點倒數時會有一個球掉下來 紐約時代廣場新年夜保留節目 在新年夜等著蛋蛋掉下來的
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
我們的宇宙進入了極熱的高濃度狀態，后來，140億年前它開始擴張。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球開始冷卻，自養生物開始繁殖,穴居人學會使用工具，我們開始建墻（我們還建了金字塔）
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang!
數學、科學、歷史解開了宇宙之謎。這一切從宇宙大爆炸開始。
It's 2:00 a.m. What are you doing up?
凌晨兩點鐘 你還不睡在干嘛呢
Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony streaming live from Stockholm.
從斯德哥爾摩直播的諾貝爾頒獎儀式
Sure. You want to see what all the scientists are wearing this year.
是啊 你想看看 科學家們今年都愛穿些啥
Look at these men. They've managed to win the top science prize in the world with no more understanding of the quantum underpinnings of the expansion of the early universe than God gave a goose.
你看看這些人 他們成功贏得了國際科學界的最高獎項 可是他們對早期宇宙膨脹的 量子基礎的理解 還不如傻子懂得多
You should pay attention, Leonard. Someday this could be you up there.
你該看看的 萊納德 哪天搞不好上臺領獎的是你
Thanks.
多謝
So, what's got you up?
那你為啥醒了呢
Did you have a bad clam?
蛤肉吃壞肚子了嗎
I didn't have clams.
我都沒吃蛤肉
I don't watch you 24 hours a day.I don't know what you do.
我又沒有時刻盯著你 誰知道你都干了些啥呢
It's this Jimmy Speckerman thing.
還不是因為吉米·斯貝克曼的事兒
I can't decide if I should agree to see him or not.Of course that might be because the last time I ran into him,he made me floss with my own shoelaces.
我猶豫到底要不要去見他 當然也許是因為我上次碰到他的時候 他強迫我拿鞋帶當牙線用
Wear loafers.
這次記得穿路夫鞋（沒有鞋帶）
Look at Dr. Saul Perlmutter up there,clutching that Nobel Prize.What's the matter, Saul?You afraid someone's going to steal it? Like you stole Einstein's cosmological constant?
你看看索爾·珀爾馬特 （加州大學伯克利分校教授 因觀察超新星而發現宇宙加速膨脹獲2011年諾貝爾物理學獎）緊緊地抓著獎杯你怎么了啊 索爾 怕人偷還是怕人搶啊 就像你偷了愛因斯坦的宇宙常數一樣一樣對吧
You know what?I am tired of living in fear of this guy.
你知道嗎 我受夠了總是害怕這家伙了
I'm gonna go see him and finally say all the things I should have said in high school.
我要去見他 然后把所有 該在高中時告訴他的話都說出來
You know, "Pick on someone your own size"
比如 "找個跟你塊頭差不多欺負看看"
You did not have sex with my mother.
你沒跟我媽上過床
And "Yes, I do know why I'm hitting myself."
還有"嗯 我還真就知道我為啥在打自己"
Oh, now Perlmutter's shaking the king's hand.
珀爾馬特現在在跟瑞典國王握手了
Yeah, check for your watch, Gustaf.He might have lifted it.
小心你的手表哦 國王陛下 沒準兒就被他給順走了
I love this dress.
我好喜歡這條裙子
How come I never see you wear it?'Cause when I wear it, it's a shirt.
為啥從來沒見你穿過呢 因為我一直把它當上衣穿
So, what's Howard doing tonight?
霍華德今晚在干嘛
Oh, they all went with Leonard to confront his childhood bully.
他們都一起去見那個小時候欺負萊納德的惡霸了
Oh, terrific.High school quarterback against four mathletes.
有意思 高中的四分衛對陣四個數學呆子
When Leonard gets back, I'd love to check his serotonin levels.
等萊納德回來的時候 我想檢測一下他體內的血清素水平(血清素含量低時時更具有攻擊性)
Do you think he'd let me draw a syringe full of his blood?
你覺得他會讓我抽他一管血嗎
Hmm, he's not crazy about needles,but if you get him to go jogging,it'll just pour out of his nose.
他不喜歡針頭 但你要是讓他去跑步他的鼻子就會自動噴血了
I don't think I can meet the girl who was always mean to me.
我肯定不敢去見 一直欺負我的人
Tammy Bodnick.
泰咪·勃妮克
One time while I was in gym class,she stole all my clothes and left an elf costume in my locker.
有一次上體育課 她偷了我的所有衣服 只在我柜子里留了一件精靈裝
Oh, that's awful.
太悲劇了
Worst part was, it was too big.
最悲劇的是 精靈裝太大
That's nothing.
這不算什么
In ninth grade, the girls put Rogaine in my hand lotion.
九年級的時候 那些女生在我的護手霜里下洛蓋尼(生發劑)
Within six months, the nicknames began to fly.I think the one that hurt the most was Gorilla Fingers Fowler.
不到六個月 花名就滿天飛了 最傷人的一個應該是猩猩手福勒
Wow. You poor thing.
兩個可憐的小姑娘
What about you?
你呢
Oh.I don't know. I guess my school was a nice place.We didn't really have bullies.
我啊不知道哦 我們學校挺好的 沒有什么惡霸
Come on, no one ever gave anyone mean nicknames or picked on them or put gum in their hairy knuckles so the school nurse had to use peanut butter to get it out?
不是吧 從來沒有人給別人取花名 捉弄別人 在長毛的指節上粘口香糖 搞得校醫只能用花生醬才能弄下來?
No, we weren't really like that.I mean, look, we played pranks on each other,but it was never mean.
沒有 我們不會那樣我們雖然會戲弄對方 但都是鬧著玩的
Like, okay, this one girl, Kathy Geiger,got really good grades, so we blindfolded her,tied her up and left her in a cornfield overnight.
比如有個女生 凱西·蓋格 考試經常得高分 于是我們蒙上她的眼睛把她五花大綁到玉米地 留她在那過夜
Oh, my God, that's awful.
天啊 太過分了
No, it was funny. Everyone laughed.
才怪 好玩著呢 大家都笑了
Did Kathy Geiger laugh?
凱西·蓋格笑了嗎
Uh, probably. It's hard to say.She kind of had an ear of corn in her mouth.
不知道 很難說 她嘴里塞滿了玉米穗
Who would have thought Fuzzy Fingers Fowler is best friends with a bully?
誰能想到 當年的毛手福勒現在變成惡霸的閨蜜
What? I was not a bully.
什么 我才不是惡霸
Kind of sounds like you were.
可聽著感覺你以前是
And maybe a felon.
說不定還是個頭頭
Shh. That's how you wind up in a cornfield.
噓 你想去玉米地過夜嗎
Is that him over there?
那邊那個是他嗎
No.
不是
How about that guy?
那個呢
He looks like he'd hate you.
他貌似很恨你
You know, I can really do this by myself.
你們其實不用來 我自己能搞定
Hey, we're here to support you, buddy.
兄弟 我們是來挺你的
No, you're not. You're here to see if I get my underwear pulled over my head.
才怪 你們只是來看我 會不會被他扯內褲蓋到頭上
You wore underwear? You fool.
你居然穿內褲來 你個白癡
So, have you figured out what you're going to say to him?
你想好怎么跟他說了嗎
You bet. I am going to make him apologize for all the crap he pulled on me in school.
廢話 他以前在學校這么欺負我 我要讓我向我道歉
That's quite a list.
這單子真長
I can't read your handwriting. What's that word?
我看不懂你寫的字 這是什么字啊
Scrotum.
陰囊
What's that one?
那這個呢
Uh, "Stapled."
釘
Leonard.
萊納德
Oh, hi.
嗨
Holy crap, man, it's good to see you.
我的天哪 老兄 好久不見
Yeah. You, too. Uh, Jimmy, this is Sheldon and Raj and Howard.
好久不見 吉米 這幾位是 謝爾頓 拉杰 霍華德
Hi. Fellas... Hey, can I get a beer?
你們好 喂 來瓶啤酒
Wow. Look at you.Little Leonard Hofstadter.I hear you're a bigtime scientist now.
哇 瞧瞧你 小不點萊納德·霍夫斯塔德 我聽說你現在是大科學家了
And there's the first zinger. Ouch.
這就開始諷刺了 真傷人
I'm doing okay, I guess.
我現在馬馬虎虎啦
Okay? Come on, I read online you're a physicist at a university,
不是吧 我在網上看到 你現在是一所大學的物理學家 你還得了獎呢
The Newcomb medal.
紐科姆獎
Yeah, congratulations.
對 恭喜恭喜
Congratulations?The Newcomb medal? Oh, please.
恭喜? 紐科姆獎哦 拜托
That's the scientific equivalent of a smiley face sticker on your homework.
那在科學界相當于 小學作業本上得了朵小紅花
From what I read, it sounded like a big deal.
在我看來挺威風的
Oh, good Lord, are we going to stand here and listen to him tear Leonard apart like this?
老天 我們就站在這里 聽他用言語羞辱萊納德嗎
Hey, I won a Newcomb medal, too.
喂 我也贏過紐科姆獎
My point.
我說得很清楚啦
You should have seen this guy back in the day.Huh? He was so little, he could fit in just about anywhere. Lockers, trash cans.Oh, man, how did you get inside that backpack?
你們真該看看這家伙小時候的樣子 他個子小得 擱哪里都能塞進去柜子啦 垃圾桶啦 老兄 你怎么鉆進那個背包的
Oh, I can't take all the credit. You helped a lot.
功勞不全在我你可是幫了大忙
Yeah. We were practically a comedy team.
對 咱倆簡直就是個搞笑隊伍
Like the Black Death and Europe.
就像黑死病席卷歐洲一樣
Jimmy, I'm kind of curious why you wanted to see me.
吉米 我很好奇你為什么想見我
Okay, here it is.
是這樣的
I have this great moneymaking idea.I just need a gear head to get it to the finish line.
我想到一個絕佳的賺錢點子 現在只差一個機械行家來完成
Technically, Howard's the gear head.Leonard's just a dime store laser jockey.
嚴格來說 霍華德才是機械行家 萊納德只是低級的激光操作員
What's the idea?
什么賺錢點子
This is just between us, right?
這點子不能外傳啊
Right. Okay.
行 好
What do you think about a pair of glasses that makes any movie you want into 3D?
你們覺得一副能讓任何電影 變得立體的眼鏡怎么樣
That sounds amazing.First movie I'm watching Annie.
那太帥了 我第一個要看的電影就是《安妮》(90年代家庭歌舞劇)
How exactly would these glasses work?
這種眼鏡怎么做
How the hell should I know? That's why I need a nerd.
我要是知道還用得著找一個書呆子嗎
I don't think something like that's even possible.
我覺得這玩意兒行不通
Aw, come on, you can figure it out.You're like the smartest guy I've ever known.
拜托 你一定有辦法的 你是我認識的最聰明的人了
The smartest...?! All right,
最聰明的 好吧
you know, I may not have a firm grasp on sarcasm,but even I know that was a doozy.
我可能對挖苦諷刺什么的不在行 可就連我都知道 你該用"出色"而不是"聰明"
Leonard, you can't live in fear of this man forever.
萊納德 你不能永遠活在對這個人的恐懼之下
Sheldon, I got this.
謝爾頓 我自己能處理
You clearly don't.
你顯然不能
What my spineless friend lacks the courage to say is you're a terrible person who took advantage of his tiny size,his uncoordinated nature and his congenital lack of masculinity.
我這個沒骨氣的朋友沒膽量說的是你是一個利用了 他的矮小身體協調能力缺乏 和先天男子氣概缺失的惡人
Sheldon...
謝爾頓
Leonard, I platonically love you, man,but face it, you're a mess.
萊納德 在精神上我還是挺喜歡你的 兄弟 但是請你面對現實 你就是一團糟
I don't understand.
我都糊涂了
I think what he's trying to say is that maybe in high school you picked on me a little bit.
我想他要說的是 或許在高中時 你有點欺負我
A little bit? The man super glued Hershey's Kisses to your nipples.
有點兒 這家伙把好時之吻巧克力用超能膠粘在你的乳頭上
That's funny because those aren't the kind of kisses you want on your nipples.
有意思的是 高中時期你的乳頭 要的可不是巧克力的吻
What is that?
那張紙是什么
This is a list of your heinous acts against Leonard.
這張單子上列滿了你對萊納德做過的可憎行徑
One of which is certainly the cause
其中肯定有一項導致他
of him wetting his bed well into his teens.
直到十幾歲了還尿床
14 is not... Aw, never mind.
十四歲不算是 算了
What's this word?
這個是什么字
Nancy.
南希
You called me Nancy for three years.
你管我叫"南希"叫了三年
You really need to work on your penmanship.
你真該好好練練字了
Oh, man, I...
天啊 我
I don't know what to say.
我不知道該說什么了
I always thought we were just having some fun.
我一直以為我們都樂在其中
It wasn't fun for me.
我可一點都樂不起來
You're being too kind, Leonard.
你用詞太客氣了 萊納德
You ruined him.
你把他給毀了
Come on, guys.
走吧 伙計們
That was pretty badass, dude.
你剛才還真厲害 兄弟
I help the weak.It's yet another way I'm exactly like Batman.
我向來幫助弱者 又一次證明了我就是蝙蝠俠在世
Hey, for the record, Jimmy wasn't the reason I wet the bed.That one has my mother written all over it.
澄清一下 害我尿床的人不是吉米 那都是我媽害的
