評論
打印
Howard, get the door!
霍華德 去開門
Why can't you get it?
你干嘛不去
You know I'm doing a bowel cleanse for my colonoscopy! I'm like an upside-down volcano here.
你知道我在為準備結腸鏡檢查浣腸 我這里就像個大頭朝下的火山
Oh, hey. I hope you didn't hear that.
是你呀 好啊 但愿你沒聽到
The volcano thing? No.
火山什么的嗎 沒聽到
What's with the T-shirt? You working at the Apple store now?
怎么穿了這么一件T恤 現在在蘋果專賣店打工了嗎
No, it's just something I threw on.
不是啦 就是隨便穿的
I know all your shirts. That's not one of them...
你的衣服我都認得 你沒這件
You were pretending to work at the Genius Bar to pick up women, weren't you?
你假裝在天才咨詢吧工作借機泡妞是不是
Yeah. Turns out, they guard the iPods, but they don't guard the shirts.
是 我發現原來他們只管看著iPod沒人管這些T恤
So, how'd it go?
那成果如何
It was going well. I was showing this super hot girl how to boot up in Safe Mode.
本來挺順利的 我給個辣妹展示怎樣從安全模式啟動
The manager got suspicious, and, well, long story short, they really do have a little jail in the Mall.
經理起了疑心 長話短說吧 那商場里真的有個小號房
Just FYI, don't try to go back with a fake mustache. I mean, they may not really be geniuses, but they see right through that.
聽哥句勸 千萬別貼上假胡子接著回去裝 他們雖然不天才卻能立馬看出你是裝的
I want to invoke the girlfriend pact, Howard.
我申請調用女友約定 霍華德
You that desperate?
你這么饑渴
No, I just... I want what you have. You know, I want a woman in my life.
也不是 我就是想像你一樣 你懂的 身邊有個女人
Holy Moses, how much liquid can be in one tokus?
天吶 菊花到底能灌進多少液體啊
To be clear, I meant like Bernadette, not your mother.
明確一下 我說的是伯納黛特不是你媽
Yeah, I know what you mean.
我明白你的意思
Well, I'm off to meet Bernadette's friend. How do I look?
我要去見伯納黛特的朋友了 我看起來咋樣
As if one of the plants from Invasion of the Body Snatchers duplicated you in every way, only with an absurd amount of hair gel.
就好像《人體異形》里某植物復制出來的你 不過是海量發膠版的
What are you working on?
你在干嘛呢
I'm removing my digital footprint from the Internet so Amy Farrah Fowler can't find me and compel me to meet her mother. Ah.
我在清除我的網絡足跡 這樣艾米·菲拉·福勒就找不到我了 也就沒法逼我見她媽了
You're going off the grid. Exactly.
你是在玩兒失蹤啊 正解
The old Unabomber approach. Kudos.
早年炸彈客的做法啊 不錯嘛 16歲進哈佛 25歲成伯克利教授后隱居郵寄炸彈
Thank you. I've also sent Amy a relationship termination notice and changed my cell phone number and e-mail address.
謝謝 發給了艾米一封關系終止通知并更換了手機號和郵箱地址
What if she just comes over?
她直接過來怎么辦
She'll get lost. We no longer live at 2311 Los Robles. We now live at 311 Los Robles.
她找不到的 已經不住Los Robles 2311號了 我們的現住址是Los Robles 311號
You changed the address on the building? What about mail?
你把門牌號給改了 信件怎么辦
Oh, no worries—I explained my predicament to our letter carrier. He was sympathetic. His exact words were: "Got your back, Jack.Bitches be crazy. "
放心吧 我跟咱的郵差解釋了我當前的囧境 他很是同情 他的原話是 哥們挺你 兄弟 妞兒們都瘋了
Who is it? Amy Farrah Fowler. Darn! She found me!
誰啊 艾米·菲拉·福勒 我去 被她逮到了
She's been here before.
她來過這里好不好
The only flaw in an otherwise perfect plan. Now, get my back, Jack.
智者千慮必有一失 現在你得挺我 兄弟
What do you want to do?
你想讓我怎么辦
Tell her I'm not here.
跟她說我不在
Okay, where are you?
那你在哪兒
I don't know. You'll have to devise a scenario that plausibly explains my absence, keeping in mind that the key to a good lie lies in the details.
不知道 你得自己設計個情節合理地解釋我的不在場 要記得 說謊的秘訣在于善于編織細節
Hi, Amy. Sheldon's not here. All right.
你好啊 艾米 謝爾頓不在 好吧
Way to go on the details.
細節編織得可真到位呀
Thanks again for doing this, Bernadette.
再次感謝你幫我 伯納黛特
Oh, I take pacts very seriously.
我向來恪守約定
One time at my lab, a petri dish of genetically modified super-virus went missing.
有一次在實驗室 一個轉基因超級病毒培養皿不見了
That day we made a pinky swear never to admit we crossed Ebola with the common cold.
那天我們都拉鉤發誓絕不承認我們曾讓埃博拉病毒和傷寒病毒結合
Why the hell would you cross Ebola with the common cold?
你們為什么要讓埃博拉病毒和傷寒病毒結合
We never did. That would be a terrible, terrible thing.
我們沒有啊 那樣就太可怕了
Hi. Sorry I'm late—I was at the gym. Spin class-worked up quite a sweat.
大家好 抱歉遲到了 我從健身房來 動感訓練課 真出了不少汗呢
Joy, this is Leonard. Leonard, this is Joy.
喬伊 這是萊納德 萊納德 這是喬伊
Hi. Hi. You don't look like a genius. Go ahead, say something smart.
好啊 好 你真沒有天才相 來 說點有才的給姐聽聽
Uh... Aah! Time's up. Just kidding. First thing you need to know about me: I'm hilarious.
啊哈 時間到 開玩笑啦 你需要了解我的第一件事就是 我超搞笑的
Yeah. So, Bernadette tells me she knows you from self-defense classes?
看出來了 伯納黛特告訴我你們是在自衛課上認識的
Yeah. Israeli Krav Maga. Lots of fun. Basically, a hundred different ways to rip a guy's nuts off.
沒錯 以色列格斗術 可好玩了 基本上是學了一百種不同的扯下男人蛋蛋的方式
Wow. Wouldn't think there'd be that many. Number 42! Whoa!
天吶 沒想到這么多啊 四十二招 天吶
Isn't she a pip?
多可愛的姑娘啊
Proxima Centauri's the nearest star. The celestial bodies that follow are Alpha Centauri A, Toli, Barnard's Star, Wolf 359...
伯納德星 沃爾夫359星
Lalande 21185, Sirius A, Sirius B, BL-Ceti, UV-Ceti, Ross 154... Ross 248... Epsilon Eridani, Lac-9352, Ross 128, Procyon A... Oh, darn, that's wrong!
鯨魚座BL星 鯨魚座UV星 羅斯154星 羅斯248星 天苑四星 拉卡伊9352星 羅斯128星 南河三A 見鬼 錯了
EZ Aquarii A, EZ Aquarii B, EZ Aquarii C, Procy on A. Those are the stars that are nearest to me. Tra-la-la and fiddle-dee-dee.
寶瓶座魯坦星A 寶瓶座魯坦星B 寶瓶座魯坦星C 南河三A 這些是離我最近的恒星 一閃一閃那么地亮晶晶
Oh, dear. They really do be crazy.
天吶 妞兒們真是瘋了
This lobster's good on the way down and the way up.
這龍蝦口感十足也回味無窮啊
Should be—it's $30 a pound.
應該的 一磅要30大洋呢
Hey, this is a date, right? Yep, it is.
這算是約會吧 沒錯
73! Excuse me, I have to go to the little girls' room... and take a wicked whiz.
第73招 不好意思 我要去一下洗手間好好地通體舒暢一下
I'll go with you.
我也一起去
Fair warning—I had the asparagus. My pea is gonna stink up the place.
友情提醒 我剛吃了蘆筍 我排泄出來的蘆筍寶寶們會讓這地方臭氣熏天
I think she likes you.
我覺得她喜歡你耶
EZ Aquarii B... EZ Aquarii C...
寶瓶座魯坦星B 寶瓶座魯坦星C
Excuse me, madam.
借過一下 女士
Sheldon? Rats!I believe a misunderstanding may have occurred when I asked you to meet my mother.
謝爾頓 靠 我請你去見我母親這事 我想你可能有點誤會
No misunderstanding. I've learned what that request actually means, and I don't want to be joined to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis.
我沒誤會 我了解到那個要求意味著什么 我不想變成一個斜面繞軸螺旋狀轉上幾圈之后的樣子
In what way are you screwed? All I want to do is present you as my boyfriend to my mother so she'll be satisfied that I'm in a relationship.
誰說你完蛋了 我只是想把你當作男友介紹給我媽讓她相信我在戀愛 好讓她放心
So we'd be perpetrating a ruse? Precisely.
這么說我們是要做戲咯 一點沒錯
And you haven't fallen hopelessly in love with me?
你沒有無可救藥地愛上我嗎
Don't be absurd. I find the notion of romantic love to be an unnecessary cultural construct that no value to human relationships.
別傻了 在我看來 愛情關系是種毫無必要的文化構造 對人類關系毫無價值可言
Amy Farrah Fowler, that's the most pragmatic thing anyone has ever said to me.
艾米·菲拉·福勒 這是我聽過的 最務實的話了
I trust this clarification allows us to return to boy-slash-friend-slash-girl-slash-friend status.
既然誤會已經澄清了 我們該回到男性朋友和女性朋友關系了吧
Of course. Would you like to join me for Chinese food?
當然 想和我一起去吃中餐么
Sheldon, please, you're suffocating me. My apologies.
拜托 謝爾頓 別逼我 不好意思
Good night, Amy. Good night, Sheldon.
晚安 艾米 晚安 謝爾頓
Come on, just give her a chance. Maybe she'll grow on you.
別這樣 給她個機會 也許你會慢慢喜歡上她
or maybe she'll finally succeed in ripping my nuts off. There are still 93 ways she hasn't tried yet.
也可能她最終成功扯下了我的蛋蛋 畢竟還有93種辦法她沒嘗試過呢
Look, H-Howard, I appreciate the effort, but this is, like, the worst date of my life. Seriously?
聽著 霍華德 謝謝你的好意 但這是我經歷過的最爛一次約會了 真的假的
I was once robbed by a pre-op transsexual I met on J-Date, and that didn't even crack my top ten.
我被個在猶太交友網上的準變性人給搶了 這種約會甚至都排不進我的最爛前十
I guess the difference is, I have some self-respect.
我覺得區別在于我懂得自重
Not that I've ever seen.
我怎么不記得你有
It's relatively new. I just know that I'm not gonna spend time with someone I don't like simply to have a girlfriend. I'm okay on my own.
最近才有的 我只是認識到 我不想就為了能有個女友而和不喜歡的女生在一起 我一個人也挺好
Good news—I made lots of room for dessert.
好消息 我的胃騰夠空間來吃甜食了
Look, uh, Joy, it was nice to meet you, but...
聽著 喬伊 很高興認識你 但...
Yeah, you, too. Hey, you got anything for next weekend?
我也是 你下周末有空么
I need a date for my cousin's wedding.
我表兄結婚 我要帶個伴去
You're asking me out?
你在約我出去嗎
Yeah. And it's an open bar, so I'll probably be giving it away.
是啊 酒啊什么的免費暢飲哦 說不定可以酒后那什么一下
I look forward to it.
我很期待
It's nice to meet you, too, Sheldon.
我也很高興認識你 謝爾頓
I honestly didn't believe Amy when she told me she had a boyfriend.
艾米告訴我她有個男友時我真的難以置信
I assure you I'm quite real and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.
我向你保證 我是有血有肉的真人 我和你女兒有著常規性交行為
What? Oh, yes. We're like wild animals in heat. It's a wonder neither of us has been hurt.
啥 是的 我們就如同發情期的野生動物 我們居然還完好無損 真是奇跡
Amy... what is he saying?
艾米 他在說什么
You wanted me to have a boyfriend, Mother. Well, here he is.
你希望我交個男友 媽媽 這就是我的男友
Have to sign off now. My hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loins.
現在我得下線了 我對謝爾頓的欲望已讓我的花徑顫抖
Oh, yes, it's time for me to make love to your daughter's vagina.
是的 我是時候該去你女兒的陰道里做愛一番了
Thank you, Sheldon, that went very well. Agreed.
多謝 謝爾頓 效果不錯 同感
Amy, I find myself wondering if we should actually engage in coitus at least one time in our relationship. Bazinga.
艾米 我禁不住這樣想 我們在交往過程中至少該真的性交一次試試 逗你玩
Bedtime. Please show yourself out.
該睡覺了 你也該走了
