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Ben: There you are. My favourite person. My hero. My pal. My role model. Do you have a
second?
Chrissy: No. This is my favourite cartoon.
Ben: No. I was talking to Mike.
Mike: No, it's my favourite cartoon too.
Ben: Mike listen, I.
Chrissy: Hey!
Ben: Listen. I need you to drive me on a date tonight with a girl, who quite possibly could be
your sister in law.
Mike: Come on Ben. Get mum or dad to drive you.
Ben: That would ruin everything. This babe is fifteen years old.
Mike: Oh, fifteen. A ripe woman. Good one Bennie.
Chrissy: What's a ripe woman?
Mike: well Chrissy, it's kind of hard to put into words.
Chrissy: Is Carol ripe?
Ben and Mike: Ha ha.
Chrissy: Like you guys are so hot!
Ben: Please Mike. Please will you drive me? This girl is like no other girl I have ever met. She
actually likes me.
Mike: Well this I s have go to see. Alright Bennie. I'll drive you.
Ben: Great. And I also need you to ffaafafafaf.
Mike: What was that?
Ben: I need you to find a date for Trish's brother who is home from college.
Mike: Wo wo wo. You expect me to find a date for this crazy girl's brother?
Ben: I'm just asking you for one woman. You've got hundreds of them.
Mike: Not anymore. Just lately I've been seeing one. Kate.
Ben: Oh. She's a little tall, but ok.
Mike: No Bennie. He can't have Kate. We have a very special relationship.
Ben: I'll wash your car for a month.
Mike: Does that include white walls? No, that would be wrong.
Ben: I am desperate. Where am I going to find a college aged girl who is available at such
short notice?
Carol: Ben, I'm just driving you and this girl. Why do I have to meet her parents?
Ben: Why? So they can see what a safe driver you are.
Carol: That isn't true.
Ben: Oh and by the way. If Trish's brother asks you, you were blonde until five o'clock today.
Carol: What?
Ben: How else could I get him to go out with you?
Carol: I am not going on any dates.
Ben: Carol. I am bigger than you. I could kill you.
Trish: Hi Benjamin.
Ben: hi Trish. You're going.
Trish: What were you so worried about? She's not so bad.
Carol: Not so bad!
Brad: Hi. I'm Brad.
Carol: Apparently my brother has given you the impression that you and I are going.....Yale!
Brad: Uh hu.
Carol: Let's party.
Trish: That was great Benjamin. Wasn't that great?
Ben: Oh I loved being upside down with you in that skirt.
Brad: How did you like it Carol? Carol!
Carol: Boy that was fun. What's next?
Brad: Parachute drop.
Ben: How about it Trisha? Up for a little free falling?
Trish: Oh, you are so nasty.
Carol: Um, I think I'm just going to sit this one out.
Brad: Well um, heck so will I.
Carol: Ok. You know a lot of people get nauseous.
Brad: Are you going to up chuck again?
Carol: No, no. And I'm sorry about your shoes. Look, I'm not really a Carnival kind of girl. I
mean I feel more comfortable in museums and theatres and libraries. If you are a
Shakespeare nut, I'm your girl. Quote any line and I'll tell you which play it's from.
Brad: Holy moley, it's Erica. In the red uniform. Those lips, those fingers.
Carol: Who?
Brad: See the second trombone? I used to date her. We were practically engaged. Talk about
bad timing hu? I meet a great girl like you and my old fiancé marches back into my life. See
you.
Carol: See you. I took five years of piano lessons.
Ben: Trish, I swear it was an accident. Come on. Haven't you ever heard of gravitational pull?
Trish: Where's my brother?
Carol: Ben, I'm going home.
Trish: Oh he dumped you.
Carol: For your information, he didn't dump me. I dumped him. Ok. I'm going home Ben.
Ben: Carol, please. Beg him to take you back. Break his glasses if you have to.
Carol: You heard me, the Carnival is over.
Ben: I'll find you another date. Hey, are there any lonely guys out there?
Carol: We are going home.
Ben: Carol, please give me two more hours? Have pity on a brother who has never done any
harm. Yet.
Trish: Oo Ben, you are nasty and mean.
Carol: Alright, I'll give you an hour but not a minute more.
Ben: Two hours. Perfect.
Carol: Ben! Nine o'clock. One hour exactly, by the Ferris wheel.
Ben: Midnight, got it.
Carol: Nine o clock exactly.
Ben: Got it. One am.
Carol: (in her mind) Ben, if you are not here by the time I count to three I'm leaving. One,
two...
Jake: Hey beautiful! Hey you darlin! You've been warming up that bench for forty five minutes.
Are you going for a ride or not?
Carol: Risk my life on a flimsy wheel with single bolt construction! No thanks.
Jake: Oh, what's life without a little risk taking?
Carol: Oh god. I've encouraged him.
Jake: What?
Carol: If you must know, I'm waiting for my little brother.
Jake: Well from up there darlin, you can see everybody.
Carol: No thanks.
Jake: So what does your brother look like?
Carol: There is no one running your ride.
Jake: Oh let it spin darlin. I see a woman in distress.
Carol: I'll tell you what. If you stop calling me darlin, I'll go for a ride.
Jake: No problem...sweetheart.
Carol: (in her head) Ok, where is that little weasel? You can't even smell him from up here. Oh
no. It's Brad. Yale, it figures. He can't see me alone on this thing. Now what?
Jake: Don't worry darlin. Wheel is jammed.
Carol: Well unjam it.
Jake: I dare not with single bolt construction.
Carol: What?
Jake: Kidding. Just sit tight. Which carte are you in? Everybody stay calm... Nothing to worry
about.
Carol: Get me off this death trap.
Jake: We got it going now darlin. Ohh ahh!
Carol: Are you alright?
Jake: It's my ankle. Damn that hurts. Oh ah. There's my trailer. Ooh, ooh. The beds over
there.
Carol: The bed. I'm sorry; I'm just not used to carrying men around. Does it hurt bad? Do you
need some ice on it Mr...?
Jake: Jake. Jake Landau.
Carol: Hi. I'm Judy Jones.
Jake: Nice to meet you Judy. Oh, the complete works of William Shakespeare.
Jake: Yeah, verily sweet Juliet. I like to read it in the lonely hours of the night.
Carol: Wow.
Jake: Are you surprised?
Carol: No. No, it's just that I didn't think that you...
Jake: Could read?
Carol: No. No, no. I mean Shakespeare.
Jake: Life's but a walking shadow. A poor play that…
Carol and Man: struts and frets its hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale
told no more by an idiot.
Carol: Ben!
Jake: What?
Carol: I have to go.
Jake: Stick around. I don't get much chance to talk Shakespeare.
Carol: I can't. I'm sorry. I have to go ruin my brothers bed time. It was nice meeting you.
Jake: Hey Judy, wait up! Wait up!
Clown: Hey Jake.
Jake: Hey Bink.
Clown: I see you found a live one. Show her a good time yet?
Jake: I'm working at it.
Clown: He gets all the babes. Me they laugh at. I don't get it.
Carol: Ben! Ben! Ben! Great, he's not here.
Jake: Good. The kid's not here. No luck hu?
Carol: No. The kids probably having so much fun he lost track of time.
Jake: There's nothing wrong with having fun.
Carol: I didn't say there was. It's just that my idea of fun is a little bit different.
Jake: Have you tried the whip?
Carol: Excuse me?
Jake: The whip.
Carol: Oh, you mean the ride. I'm not really the whip kind of girl.
Jake: Give me five minutes. I watch them from up there every night. Here comes the grand finale.
Carol: I guess I have to be getting home then.
Jake: Why?
Carol: Well cos the Carnival is going to be over.
Jake: Maybe.
Carol: Everyone is going to be going home.
Jake: I don't know about you, but I can't wait for them to leave.
Carol: What are you talking about?
Jake: When they're gone, it will be our Carnival.
Carol: I've never had my own Carnival before.
