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When we get super-busy, some friendships fall by the wayside. But that doesn't mean you can't revive the relationship. Even if a lot of time has elapsed, it's worth saving those nurturing friends who know you deep down and whom you can confide in and call in a crisis. Wanting to rekindle a friendship isn't enough, though. You have to find a way to reconnect, which can be difficult after months or years of sporadic-or zero-contact. Here are the best first moves to make to get your friend back in your life.
我們的生活越來越忙碌，朋友間的交情漸漸變淡了，但這并不代表友情就此終止。即使已很久沒聯系，也要留住那些真正和你心靈相通、關鍵時刻值得信賴的益友。然而光想不做可沒用。在長久不聯系、彼此都已疏遠的情況下，你得突破萬難敵找出一個重拾聯系的方法。以下是給你的幾點小建議，讓你的老朋友重新回到你的生活中：
1. Write Her a Facebook Message
1. 去她的社交網絡頁面上留言
Getting in touch electronically is one of the easiest ways to catch up. But what do you say in that first note? Start with some information about how busy you've been and then add in details about what you've been doing. Sharing updates about your life can encourage your friend to reply with the same openness. Once you've reconnected, make plans to see each other in person. You can't substitute Facebook or other forms of social media for real relationships.
網絡時代，用電子方式聯絡是最簡便不過的了。不過第一句該說什么呢？說說自己最近很忙，并可以具體說說自己到底在忙些啥。因為主動分享自己的生活能鼓勵你的朋友也反饋同樣的信息。一旦連絡上后，可以約著出來見個面。畢竟社交網絡上的交情并不能代表真正的感情。
2. Reconnect Over a Favorite Pastime
2. 找回舊日共處時光
An activity that you used to do together can rev up a stalled friendship. Since that drew you together in the past, it should reignite positive memories and bring you closer again Start by emailing your friend with a list of shared favorite activities and suggest doing one of those. Anything from going shopping to visiting that coffee shop you both love can rebuild your bond.
通過重溫曾經一起做過的事可以很好地重塑友情。過往的經歷會重燃你們美好的回憶，并因此讓人變得更為親密。不如給老朋友發封郵件，列上一串以前曾經一起做過的事，向TA建議再去做一次。只要能讓你們重拾舊關系，無論是外出購物、或去喜歡的咖啡館小坐，都很好。
3. Send a Handwritten Card
3. 寄張手寫賀卡
A note in the mail can be a welcome surprise for a friend you haven't spoken to in a while. And there's no need to wait until a holiday for an excuse to send it; a "just because" card can restart your relationship anytime. Women are busy and don't want to feel that the friendship comes with too many strings attached. So avoid mentioning the past or specific dates when you're available to meet up. Instead, leave the message open-ended, explaining that you're available for lunch or drinks in the next couple of weeks, she says. And remind her of the best way to contact you.
對許久不聯系的朋友來說，一封突如其來的信絕對是個驚喜。并非只有假期才能寄卡片，因為一張“問候卡”能立即拉近你們的關系。女人身上的負擔很繁重，她們不喜歡壓力太大的友情。因此，不要在卡片里跟對方約某月某日某時的具體見面事項，而應該婉轉地提出自己未來幾周都有空、想約她出來吃頓飯或者喝杯咖啡，并順便附上自己的聯系方式。這樣更好。
4. Set a Phone Date
4. 找時間煲電話粥
Hearing a friend's voice can be a great way to reconnect. But with hectic schedules, you may wind up playing phone tag for a while before you catch each other. That's why it's best to schedule a chat. Leave a voicemail with times you're available. It may feel weird to call out of the blue, but people understand. Once you've got your friend on the phone, be sure to set up time for another phone date or an in-person meeting, she adds.
用真實的聲音交流是極贊的老友聯系方式。不過人人都有自己的安排，電話暢聊也許需要點運氣。這就是為啥我們建議你先預約一次“電話聊天” 時間。給她留條語音信息，告訴她你什么時候有空。你可能會覺得沒頭沒腦突然邀約挺奇怪的，但一般人們都能夠理解。只要你們電話通了，那就趕緊約下一次煲電話粥的時間吧，面對面聊天也行。
5. Do Something Unexpected and Kind
5. 做件出其不意又充滿溫情的事
Whether it's sending a handmade present or her favorite type of cookies, preparing a small surprise can go a long way in rekindling a friendship, especially with someone you once considered a good pal. This will open your friend's heart to you, which will further the friendship. Just don't go overboard with a nice gesture; mailing something affordable rather than showing up at your buddy's doorstep is your best bet.
無論是送件手工制作的禮物還是送她最喜歡的點心，一個小禮物能大大幫助你們重拾舊日友情。這招對那種以前就是你死黨的人來講，尤其有用。它會讓朋友打開心扉，從而和你繼續這份友情。只別做得太過火就行，比如突然出現在TA家門口之類的……寄一個不太貴重的小禮物是最好的選擇。
6. Throw a Dinner Party
6. 辦一次晚宴派對
Chances are there's more than one friend you've been meaning to catch up with, so inviting over a group can restart multiple friendships at once. Let your buddies know how much they mean to you with a girlfriend gratitude dinner. Consider inviting women who all know each other, such as a few former coworkers, to simplify planning and keep the dinner conversation flowing.
想同時和好幾個老友保持聯系？不如把她們都請到家里來。舉辦一場“姐妹感恩晚餐”，這會讓你的朋友們明白她們對你來講是那么的重要。最好邀請那些互相都認識的人，比如前同事之類的，這樣氣氛自在舒適，排隊自然能大獲成功。
7. Invite Her Along to an Event
7. 邀請朋友一起參加活動
Have an extra ticket to a concert, party or book reading? Bringing your friend to a gathering can be more casual-and less intimidating-than meeting one on one. This takes the pressure off and lets both of you relax in a group environment. Rather than jumping into a serious discussion of why you drifted apart, you'll be socializing with other people or enjoying some entertainment, which can make your reunion less awkward.
手頭有張演唱會、派對或讀書會多余的票？帶朋友出去參加活動，這會比單獨相約見面要更輕松愉快。這樣能卸下你倆身上的包袱，讓你們徹底放松在團體的氛圍中。與其面對面談話時，冷不丁突然跳到“當初我為啥疏遠你”之類的不愉快話題，還不如跟大伙一起出去玩，這能讓你們跟別人自由互動，從而減輕尷尬的情緒。
8. Try Out a New Experience
8. 一起嘗試新經歷
Creating fun memories together is a sure way to rekindle a friendship, says Chua. Email your friend about meeting up and suggest a list of activities you've been meaning to try for your get-together. Some ideas: playing paintball, going rock climbing, taking dance lessons and going trekking, says Chua. "This is a great way to learn new things about your friend and find fresh commonalities to bond over."
一直制造歡樂回憶，絕對可以讓你們重拾友情。你可以給她寫封郵件，提議一起去試試最近流行的新鮮玩意兒，比如彩彈實戰、攀巖、舞蹈課、負重徒步等等。這些新事物能讓你了解到她的另一面，并讓你們再度找到相通之處，從而恢復友誼。
