評論
打印
In this era of TMI tweets and status updates, we often offer up the most trivial of personal details while keeping the important stuff to ourselves. Here, five experts weigh in on what’s really worth sharing.
在一個隨時上推特和更新個人狀態的時代，我們經常發布個人生活中雞毛蒜皮的瑣事，但保留真正要緊的。以下是五位專家認為真正值得分享的事情。
You Don’t Have All the Answers
你并非知道所有答案
By and large, people don’t like to live in the realm of “not knowing.” It’s terrifying. Which is why everybody wants to have all the answers. Atheists think science has the answers. Religious fundamentalists believe their particular theology does. But “not knowing” is a richer and more gratifying place to be. I have no idea what’s going to happen to me, why the universe is the way it is, or what will happen to my life force once my body stops working. You probably don’t, either. So just breathe and live in the great, beautiful mystery. And floss regularly.
總體來說，人們不喜歡“不知道”的狀態。這感覺可怕。所以，每個人都要知道所有答案。無神論者認為科學有答案。宗教原教旨主義者認為其特殊的神學可以提供答案。但“不知道”讓人的生活更加豐富多彩，更加令人愉悅。我不知道自己將來會發生什么事情；為什么宇宙會以這種方式存在；還有，如果我的身體停止工作后，我的生命力會如何變化。你可能也不知道。那么，就好好呼吸吧，好好活在這個偉大的、美麗的謎團中吧。然后，再三天兩頭梳理一下。
You Spent a Small Fortune on Yourself
你給自己花了一小筆錢
Even in this day and age, many people still don’t level with their spouses about how much they paid for some coveted service or item, like a salon treatment or a fancy new grill. Indeed, it can be difficult to own up to, say, a $70 haircut at a chic salon when your husband shells out just $22 at the barber. But keeping money secrets in a relationship creates bigger conflicts down the road. Sure, in this economy, sharing such information may lead to a discussion about cutting back. But your partner will also get a better understanding of what you value most— and those conversations will ultimately bring the two of you closer.
即使如今這世道，對一些奢侈的享受或者物品，還有很多人沒對配偶報實賬，如纖體保養或一臺新款的燒烤爐。實際上，的確很難坦白說，比如你花了70美元去一家美發沙龍做頭發，而你老公在理發店只花了22美元。但夫妻之間對金錢保密，隨著時間的推移，會引起更大的沖突。當然，如今這樣的經濟形勢下，分享這些事情可能就會討論到減少開支。但伴侶也會更了解你最看重的事情——而且，這類溝通最終會讓你們二人走得更近。
Your House Is Usually a Disaster Area
你家里通常亂七八糟
The next time you entertain, don’t pretend that your place always looks perfect. It’s as annoying as a stick-thin model saying she eats like a horse. If someone compliments your home, be honest and say, “I’ve spent the last two days cleaning up. You have no idea what was behind this sideboard.” It’s impossible to keep it together at all times. Wouldn’t you rather be friends with someone who owns up to her imperfections? I know I would.
下次聚會時，別裝作你家里一直這么完美。就象一個瘦得跟竹竿似的模特，說她的食量大得象匹馬，這很令人惱火。假如有人恭維你家，你就老老實實地說：“我花了兩天洗洗刷刷。你根本想象不到柜子里有多亂。”不可能一直保持井井有條。難道你不愿意和一個坦承自己不完美的人交朋友嗎？我想我是愿意的。
You’re Tired of Hearing About It
你真的聽煩了
Life is too short to listen to people talk about the same problems over and over again. I have a friend who is often in victim mode. If she calls me to rant at the end of a long day, I’ll say to her, “I love you, but I can listen for only three minutes and then I have to go.” I’m not cruel. I’ll say it in a lighthearted way. That helps soften the blow. Friends have to be honest with each other to have emotionally healthy relationships. Otherwise we would all be screening every call, and that’s not how I want to live.
人生苦短，真不該老聽別人重復抱怨同樣的問題。我有一個經常陷入受害者心態的朋友。如果漫長的一天結束時，她找我抱怨，我就告訴她：“我愛你，但我只能聽三分鐘，然后，我得走了。”我不是冷酷。我會用一種輕快的方式說這話。這樣就溫和多了。朋友間要誠實，這樣友誼才能健康。否則，每次來訪，我們都揣著面具，我可不想要這樣的生活。
Everything
每件事
Be frank about your age, your sexual orientation, your criminal record (if you have one), your tattoos, your scars, and your prescriptions. Admit to your bad moods, your neuroses, your fantasies, and your fears and it will be so cathartic you won’t need therapy. Better still, you’ll be able to gossip without hypocrisy. I am candid about myself in my column, and that frees me to investigate the private lives of public figures. The same applies to everyday gossiping: No one can fault you for talking about others’ indiscretions if you’re the first to reveal those things about yourself.
要坦率：年齡、性取向、犯罪記錄（如果有一個）、紋身、疤痕、秘方。承認壞脾氣、承認神經官能癥、胡思亂想、害怕恐懼，這樣真是太痛快了，你就沒必要治療了。更棒的是，你不用戴著假面具來八卦。在自己的專欄里，我很坦率的，這樣就給了我自由，讓我能審視那些公眾人物的私生活了。這對日常八卦也適用：如果一開始，你就把自己給八卦一通，那么，就沒人責怪你唧唧歪歪別人的諸多小毛病了。
