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Want to build positive relationships? Then make sure not to commit the following 10 things that disrupt relationships:
你想建立積極的人際關(guān)系嗎？那么確保不要做一下十件會毀滅關(guān)系的事情。
1. Giving hurtful comments. Are you hurting others by your lack of tact? You might think that you're being helpful, but your intentions might have hurt the other party instead. Put yourself in others'shoes first. If it's not a comment you appreciate hearing yourself, then perhaps it's not something others will appreciate either.
1. 給傷害性的評論。你曾經(jīng)因為缺乏機智而傷害過他人嗎？你可能覺得你是在幫別人，但是你可能傷害別人。首先，替別人想想。如果你不愿意聽到那個評論，那么對于別人而言，可能也不愿意。
2. Giving solutions when the person is really looking for a listening ear. Probably an understatement: A lot of times what people want is a listening ear. Deep down, people have solutions to the problems they are facing – they are just looking for someone to share their frustrations with because they have had a long and hard day. I had a friend who would always butt in with suggestions whenever I shared my frustrations. Our conversations became stifling – in the end I stopped talking about them altogether because I wasn't getting the refuge I wanted. Be more conscious of what the other party is looking for, and adjust accordingly to fit that.
2. 給予解決的方法，當(dāng)別人只是需要一個傾聽的對象。可能只是一個保守的結(jié)論：很多時候人們只是需要傾訴。實際上，人們對于他們所面對的問題，已經(jīng)有了解決的方法，他們只是在尋找能與他們分享心事的人，因為他們?nèi)兆硬缓眠^。我有一個好朋友，經(jīng)常插嘴提建議，當(dāng)我只是想分享我的沮喪時。我們的對話變得非常沉悶——到最后我停止了訴說，因為我沒有尋找到我的避難所。我們應(yīng)該更加謹慎地去意識到對方需要什么，然后調(diào)整自己去適應(yīng)。
3. Being judgmental; Thinking you are above others. No one likes to be judged or labeled. If you are constantly judging others for what they do/say, it might be good to reflect that upon yourself. Putting someone off doesn't make someone a better person; it just makes him/her appear insecure. Humility is a timeless virtue that's appreciated by everyone.
3. 具有批判精神，覺得自己高高在上。沒有人喜歡被批判或者被貼上標簽。如果你不停地評論他人的言行，那么你所評價的內(nèi)容正好反映了你自己。并不能將別人變成更好的人。這會讓別人沒有安全感。謙卑是每個人都欣賞的永恒的美德。
4. Being defensive to criticism. How well do you respond to criticism? Do you become defensive and wall yourself up? Or do you graciously take it into stride and use the criticism constructively for growth? Learn to deal with critical people — it might be the most important skill you can ever acquire.
4. 遠離批評。你是如何看待他人的批評呢？你是對批評敬而遠之，置之不理？還是充滿感激地傾聽，在批評中積極地成長呢？學(xué)習(xí)與批評你的人相處——這恐怕是你將獲得的最重要的技巧。
5. Telling people what to do. Most of us don't like it when people try to boss us around. Learning to energize people and get them on board a common vision is more empowering than trying to order people around.
5. 告訴別人做什么。很多人都不喜歡被別人呼來喝去。學(xué)會激勵別人，同等地看待別人比對別人呼來喝去更有用。
