
7.Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
如果女人能做到以禿頂和啤酒肚在大街上晃還覺得自己倍兒性感——此時估計男女能平等。
8.The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
小腿上的骨頭——在黑房間里找準家具位置的好裝備。
9.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
竊鉤者誅,竊國者為諸侯。
10.The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
小孩子要中間名,純粹是為了讓他知道他啥時候真的有麻煩了。
起個全名就為了揍孩子前可以底氣十足地喊出來。
11.It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
跳樓的時候,“啊——”的時候還沒死,“啪!”那才是死了。
12.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
好客就是:讓客人覺得他們像在他們家一樣,盡管你真的希望他們滾回他們家。
13.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
人生何處不杯具,唯有面對飲水機。