And a piece of good advice for everyone who looks on giving constructive criticism as a kind of sacred duty: "Always praising."

"Made sure I had everything I needed," she goes on to write.

After that she has turned over the paper and added: "Warmth. Humour. Kindness. Thoughtfulness." And then she writes about the husband she has lived with and loved the most of her life: "Always there for me when I needed you."
The last words she wrote sum up all the others. I can see her for me where she adds thoughtfully: "Good friend."

接下來一句對于那些喜歡給對方一些建設性批評的人很有借鑒作用，他們以為批評是一種神圣的責任，其實不然：“總是會夸獎我。”

“總是可以讓我得到我想要的。”她緊接著寫到。

這句之后她翻過紙在背面補充到：“熱情、幽默、善良、體貼。”而她最愛這個和她生活的丈夫的一點是：“他總是會在你需要的時候出現。”

I stand beside John now, and cannot even pretend to know how it feels to lose someone who is as close to me as Janet was to him. I need to hear what he has to say much more than he needs to talk.

"John," I ask. "How do you stick together with someone through 38 years -- not to mention the sickness? How do I know if I can bear to stand by my wife's side if she becomes sick one day?"

"You can," he says quietly. "If you love her enough, you can."

我站在約翰的身邊，我不能裝作我知道失去至愛的感受，就像約翰失去珍妮特一樣。我想聽一聽他真正想說的是什么，而不是那些他不得不說的套話。

我說：“約翰，即使不說癌癥的那些日子，你怎么可以和一個人生活38年毫無厭倦呢？如果有一天我的妻子也得病，我怎么知道自己能不能一直守候在她的身邊呢？”

他平靜地說：“你一定可以，只要你愛得夠深。”