Women do a lotof silly things to try to impress men; because men do a lot of ridiculous things to impress women, too. Though, even acceptedsocietal norms for picking up a guy often miss the mark becausewomen overthink things. Here's a look at some of the most surefireways that women think that they can impress a guy--and why they'llfail miserably every time。

　　女性總會做一些傻事去吸引心儀的男生，而男生也會做出許多離譜的舉動去追求女生。不過，已被大眾認可的追男方式卻經常不湊效，那是因為女人錯誤地估計了它們所能產生的影響。下面來看看這些被女性認為肯定會吸引到異性而又屢屢失敗的糟糕方法。

　　1.Makeup 化妝

　　Makeup doesn't doa lot for guys. In small doses it's alright, but if I want to geteyeshadow all over my clothes, I'll go see the Cure inconcert。

　　化妝對男人不會意味著更多東西，淡妝就行了。如果我想讓衣服上沾滿女人的眼影，那還不如去聽怪人合唱團的演唱會。

　　2.Perfume 香水

　　No man minds whena woman smells like nothing--a simple stick of deodorantaccomplishes this. Women who slather on the perfume end up smellinglike the front counter of Macy's, and it's a bit of aturn-off。

　　如果一個女人聞起來沒有什么特別的味道，我相信沒有男士會介意——你要是擔心自己的汗味或其它不好聞的味道的話，簡單地使用去味劑就可以解決這個問題。問題就是總有些女人會在身上噴上一層又一層的香水，這濃烈的香味會使她們聞起來像梅西百貨里的售貨小姐，那多少讓人有些失去興致。

　　3.Name Brands 用名牌

　　You shouldn'twear name brand clothes that cost more than they need to justbecause you want to impress men. If you're trying to impress women,this sometimes works, but name brand items don't do much for anyman other than Ralph Lauren. And just to prove that men don't knowanything about brands, I just referenced Ralph Lauren. I have noidea if he makes good clothes. Probably not. But he's the onlydesigner I could name。

　　不要為了取悅男人就在他們面前穿戴名牌服飾，他們不看重這個。如果你是為了刺激其它女性，這招的確奏效。衣服的品牌名稱對男人沒有意義。為了證明男人對品牌根本沒有概念，我在這提下RalphLauren的名字。我不知道他是不是能做出好衣服來，這無關緊要。但他是我能叫出名來的唯一一個服裝設計師。

　　4.Tanning 古銅色肌膚

　　Tanning salonsare all over the place, waiting to help you turn your skin into asort of orange, glowing monstrosity that looks like it was sprayedout of a can. There are men out there who are impressed by a goodtan, but they're what the scientific community calls "pig-ignorantslimeballs"。

　　各地滋生了專門做日光浴的美容院，你可以坐在屋子里看她們是如何把你皮膚變成帶點橙色的，像發著光的小怪物，看起來好像是從哪個實驗室的瓶子里逃出來的。有些男人對棕褐色皮膚確實很迷戀，但這些女人卻被理性思考者稱作“無知的可憐蟲。”

　　5.Cosmetic Surgery 整容手術

　　It almost soundstrite to say that cosmetic surgery is ugly and disgusting. Everyoneclaims to hate it; yet, it's still a thriving industry. The thingis, though, the cosmetic surgery industry caters to a specific kindof person--the type of person who wants to look fantastic at allcosts. The industry isn't set up for making people beautiful. It'sset up to make people think they look beautiful. And if the resultswere fantastic, well, then all's fair in love and war. Ultimately,breast augmentation, fat reduction, Botox treatments ... all ofthis looks terrible to men, women, small children and animals.Plastic surgery may eventually provide a way for people to cheat themselves into looking younger。

　　整容手術是非常惡心令人厭惡的，這樣的說法幾乎是老生常談，每個人都說不喜歡它。然而，它仍然是一個興旺的產業，關鍵是整容業迎合的是特定人群的需要——該類人愿意不惜一切代價使自己看上去漂亮。整容業不能使人們變得更美，它只是使人們認為他們看起來美麗動人。如果整出來的效果很棒，那么好了，在愛與競爭中相關的一切都可以獲得公平對待了。不過最終，隆胸，減肥，肉毒桿菌毒素治療.。。這一切對男人，女人，兒童還是小動物來說都很可怕。整形外科所能提供的只是使人變得年輕的謊言。