Being Your Best: Stop Comparing and Start Running

If you want to drain your mental energy, there is one easy way to do so: compare yourself with others. Comparing yourself with others will only give you two things: either you feel proud when you are above, or you feel jealous and intimidated when you are below. As you can see, both are negative emotions that won’t do you any good.

Unfortunately, our culture is full of comparisons. People like to compare themselves with others.

While some people may say that comparing is a way to motivate themselves, I think there is a better way to do that without draining our mental energy. Here it is:

Find a role model and use him as a pacer.

A role model is someone whose quality and achievements you admire. It’s no secret that the way to be great is by emulating those who are great. By finding the right role model, you will have concrete example of the qualities you want to achieve. Since those qualities are now tangible, it will be much easier for you to run after them. By selecting the right role model and running after him, you will quickly improve yourself.

Here are some steps to apply this principle:

1. Stop looking at others’ statistics

This is the way to stop comparing yourself with others. I know this is not easy to do since we have the tendency to compare ourselves with others. But, as I’ve said above, this will only drain your mental energy. So resist the temptation to look at others’ statistics for comparison sake.

2. Look around for someone whom you want to emulate

Instead of comparing, you should find someone you want to emulate. This is perhaps the most difficult step here because it’s not easy to find the right role model. Your role model should:

• have significant achievements that you want to emulate (in this case, you do need to look at his statistics).
• not so far ahead that you can’t realistically hope to run after him
• have performed well consistently for long time
• have other characteristics that are similar to you or your situation.

The last point is important. There are perhaps some persons who have the achievements you want, but - looking at their characteristics - they are very different from you. In that case, it will be too difficult and unnatural to emulate them. The more similar their characteristics with yours, the more natural it will be to emulate them.

While you can choose some models to emulate, in my opinion it is better to have only one main role model. Just like having one goal make it easier for you to achieve it, having one main role model make it easier for you to emulate him. Of course, you are unique so you also need to learn from other models to find the unique combination that fits you, but still, having one main model is helpful.

3. Look closely at how your role model does things

To emulate your role model, you should find out the details of how he or she does things. Watch your role model closely. Study his work, life, and methods. Try to dissect the traits and actions that make him successful.

4. Set some actions to take based on your findings

You should then turn your findings into some actions you can take. These are the things you can do to bring you closer to your model’s achievements.

5. Set your role model’s current statistics and quality as your target

As I wrote above, your role model acts as a pacer. So set his statistics and quality as your target to run after. Of course, you should not blindly try to match the numbers. Adjust things to match your unique circumstances.

6. Aim to emulate your role model as quickly as possible

To make sure that you do not just sit down and relax, you should make a decision to run as fast as you can.

Your role model may have been ahead of you when you reach his current level of achievement, but that’s fine. The most important thing is you run as fast as you can.

如果你想耗盡你的腦力，有一個簡單的辦法，就是把你自己和其他人比，這種比較會給你帶來兩個后果：要么在你勝人一籌的時候，你感到自豪，要么在你比上不足的時候，你感到嫉妒和羞愧。正如你所知道的，這兩種后果帶給你的都是負面情緒，對你沒有任何好處。

不幸的是，我們的文化充滿了競爭。人們喜歡拿自己和別人比。

當一些人提出和他人比較是一種激勵自己的方法的時候，我認為有一種比其更好的方法，并且不用耗盡我們的腦力。方法如下：

找一個榜樣并且以他作為你自己的標桿

所謂榜樣就是其身上的品質和成就為你所敬仰。毫無疑問，成功最好的方法就是模仿成功人士。通過找到正確的榜樣，你將會塑造出你希望自己達到的形象。既然這些成功人士身上的品質是有形的，對你來說去努力效仿他們就變得容易得多了。通過選擇合適的榜樣并且努力追隨榜樣的力量，你將會發現你自己迅速的提高了。

這里有一些可以適用的原則：

1. 不要參照他人的數據

這個方法可以幫助你停止與他人進行比較。我這道，一開始并不容易做到，因為我們習慣性得把自己和他人比較。但是，正如我以上所說的，這種比較只會耗盡我們的腦力。所以，為了避免與他人比較，拒絕這種參照他人數據的誘惑。

2. 找尋一個你的榜樣

你應該找尋一個你所希望效仿的人而不是與他人比較。由于找尋一個合適的目標并不簡單，所以也許這點并是最不容易做到的。你要找到的榜樣應該具備如下條件：

你的榜樣擁有你希望達到的重大成就（這點上，你需要去看一下他的數據）。

你的榜樣與你的距離不至于遠到，你無法到他的境界。

你的榜樣長期一直表現杰出。

你的榜樣身上擁有一些特征，而這些特征與你或者你現在的情況比較相似。

最后一點，也是最重要的一點。也許，你希望自己能和有些人一樣成功，但是看一下他們身上的特征，這些特征在你身上找不到。從這個層面上講，對你來說去模仿這樣的一些人是很難而且也也是不自然的。越是，你與你要效仿的人性格相近，那么你效仿起來也顯得越加自然。

當你可以選擇一些目標對象的時候，以我的觀點，最好只選取一個主要目標。道理很簡單，一個目標易得，一個榜樣易仿。當然，你是獨一無二的，你也可以從其他對象中找到適合你的特別組合，但是，仍然集中于一個主要對象會對你有所幫助。

3. 仔細觀察你所選定的榜樣做事的方式

為了效仿你的榜樣，你需要找出他做事方式的細節。仔細觀察。認真學習他的工作方式，生活方式和方法。試圖分析他成功背后的品質和行為。

4. 以你的發現為準繩，開始行動

你應該把你的發現轉為你的行動。你的行動將會縮小你和你榜樣之間的距離。

5. 視你的榜樣現在數據和品質作為你的目標

正如我如上所寫，你的榜樣就是你的標桿。所以他所獲得成功和擁有的品質就是你要努力追趕的對象。當然，你也不應該盲目去湊數，改造它，讓它適應你自己所特有的情況。

6. 盡可能盡快就開始你的效仿之路

確保你不只是坐在那里唱山歌，你應該下定決心盡力而為。

也許在你追上榜樣現有的成就時，你的榜樣仍舊在你的前方，不過對你來說沒有任何問題，最重要的是你盡力而為了。