The American Way: Marriage

美國(guó)人的婚姻方式

[1] "I do." To Americans those two words carry great meaning. They can even change your life. Especially if you say them at your own wedding. Making wedding vows is like signing a contract. Now Americans don't really think marriage is a business deal. But marriage is serious business.

[2] It all begins with engagement. Traditionally, a young man asks the father of his sweetheart for permission to marry her. If the father agrees, the man later proposes to her. Often he tries to surprise her by "popping the question" in a romantic way. Sometimes the couple just decides together that the time is right to get married. The man usually gives his fiancée a diamond ring as a symbol of their engagement. They may be engaged for weeks, months or even years. As the big day approaches, bridal showers and bachelor's parties provide many useful gifts. Today many couples also receive counseling during engagement. This prepares them for the challenges of married life.

[3] At last it's time for the wedding. Although most weddings follow long-held traditions, there's still room for American individualism. For example, the usual place for a wedding is in a church. But some people get married outdoors in a scenic spot. A few even have the ceremony while sky-diving or riding on horseback! The couple may invite hundreds of people or just a few close friends. They choose their own style of colors, decorations and music during the ceremony. But some things rarely change. The bride usually wears a beautiful, long white wedding dress. She traditionally wears "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue". The groom wears a formal suit or tuxedo. Several close friends participate in the ceremony as attendants, including the best man and the maid of honor

[4] As the ceremony begins, the groom and his attendants stand with the minister, facing the audience. Music signals the entrance of the bride's attendants, followed by the beautiful bride. Nervously, the young couple repeats their vows. Traditionally, they promise to love each other "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health". But sometimes the couple has composed their own vows. They give each other a gold ring to symbolize their marriage commitment. Finally the minister announces the big moment: "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride!"

[5] At the wedding reception, the bride and groom greet their guests. Then they cut the wedding cake and feed each other a bite. Guests mingle while enjoying cake, punch and other treats. Later the bride throws her bouquet of flowers to a group of single girls. Tradition says that the one who catches the bouquet will be the next to marry. During the reception, playful friends "decorate" the couple's car with tissue paper, tin cans and a "Just Married" sign. When the reception is over, the newlyweds run to their "decorated" car and speed off. Many couples take a honeymoon, a one- to two-week vacation trip, to celebrate their new marriage.

[6] Almost every culture has rituals to signal a change in one's life. Marriage is one of the most basic life changes for people of all cultures. So it's no surprise to find many traditions about getting married... even in America. Yet each couple follows the traditions in a way that is uniquely their own.

[1]“我愿意。”這句話(huà)對(duì)美國(guó)人來(lái)說(shuō)包含深遠(yuǎn)的意義。它甚至可以改變一個(gè)人的生活，特別是如果你在自己的婚禮上說(shuō)出這句話(huà)。發(fā)出結(jié)婚誓言就如同簽訂契約一般。雖然今天美國(guó)人并不真正認(rèn)為婚姻是一宗商業(yè)交易，但婚姻確實(shí)是件嚴(yán)肅的事。

[2]一切從訂婚開(kāi)始。在傳統(tǒng)上，年輕男子先要請(qǐng)求女朋友的父親允許自己娶她。如果女方的父親答應(yīng)，然后男方才能向女方求婚。男方時(shí)常嘗試以羅曼蒂克的方式“蹦出這個(gè)問(wèn)題”，想給女方一個(gè)驚喜。有時(shí)雙方只是一起決定，該是結(jié)婚的時(shí)候了。男方通常會(huì)送給未婚妻一只鉆石戒指作為訂婚的象征。訂婚期可以持續(xù)幾個(gè)星期、幾個(gè)月，甚至幾年。當(dāng)大喜的日子臨近時(shí)，雙方各自的好友在婚前派對(duì)上會(huì)贈(zèng)送許多實(shí)用的禮物。今天，許多未婚夫妻在訂婚期間還聽(tīng)取咨詢(xún)意見(jiàn)，以此為應(yīng)付婚姻生活的挑戰(zhàn)作好準(zhǔn)備。

[3]最后就該舉行婚禮了。雖然大多數(shù)的婚禮沿襲長(zhǎng)期以來(lái)的傳統(tǒng)，但是仍有發(fā)揮美國(guó)人的個(gè)性主義的余地。例如，通常舉行婚禮的地點(diǎn)是在教堂，但是有些人卻在戶(hù)外的風(fēng)景點(diǎn)舉行婚禮，少數(shù)人甚至在跳傘或騎馬時(shí)舉辦儀式！新人可以邀請(qǐng)幾百個(gè)客人，也可以只邀請(qǐng)幾個(gè)最要好的朋友。婚禮的色調(diào)風(fēng)格、布置和音樂(lè)都由他們自己決定。但有些事情很少會(huì)變化。新娘通常都穿一件漂亮的長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的白色結(jié)婚禮服。按傳統(tǒng)習(xí)慣，新娘的穿著要包括“一點(diǎn)舊的，一點(diǎn)新的，一點(diǎn)借來(lái)的和一點(diǎn)藍(lán)色的東西”。新郎則穿著一套正式的西裝或無(wú)尾晚禮服。幾位親密的朋友參與婚禮作為陪伴，包括伴郎和伴娘。

[4]婚禮開(kāi)始時(shí)，新郎和他的陪伴同牧師站在一起，面對(duì)著來(lái)賓。當(dāng)音樂(lè)響起時(shí)，新娘的陪伴入場(chǎng)，后面就跟著美麗的新娘。一對(duì)新人緊張地跟著說(shuō)出他們的誓言。按傳統(tǒng)習(xí)慣，雙方許諾要彼此相愛(ài)，“不論情況較好較壞，不論家境是富是窮，不論生病還是健康。”但有時(shí)兩人也可以編一套自己的誓言。他們互贈(zèng)金戒指象征婚姻的承諾。最后，牧師宣布重大時(shí)刻的到來(lái)：“我現(xiàn)在宣布你們成為夫妻。你可以親吻你的新娘！”

[5]在結(jié)婚喜宴上，新娘和新郎向賓客表示歡迎。然后他們切開(kāi)結(jié)婚蛋糕并互喂對(duì)方一口。來(lái)賓們一邊享受蛋糕、混合飲料和其他食物，一邊相互交談。之后，新娘將她的花束投向一群?jiǎn)紊砼ⅰＯ鄠髯サ交ㄊ呐?huì)成為下一個(gè)結(jié)婚的人。喜宴期間，愛(ài)鬧的朋友用薄紙、錫罐和寫(xiě)著“新婚”的標(biāo)牌來(lái)“裝飾”新人的小汽車(chē)。宴會(huì)結(jié)束后，新婚的小倆口就跑向他們“被裝飾好的”小汽車(chē)，迅速地駛走。許多新人會(huì)去度蜜月，即一兩個(gè)星期的度假旅行，以慶祝他們的新婚。

[6]幾乎每一種文化都有儀式來(lái)標(biāo)志一個(gè)人生活的變化。婚姻對(duì)于各種文化的人而言都是最基本的生活變化之一。因此發(fā)現(xiàn)關(guān)于結(jié)婚有許多傳統(tǒng)習(xí)俗，就不足為奇了……在美國(guó)也不例外。然而每對(duì)新人都會(huì)以自己獨(dú)持的方式來(lái)繼承傳統(tǒng)。