管賬的用著怒眼斜視著小伙計，但因我在旁邊，他沒有說什么，只是重重地打著算盤。

我充當臨時的店員，進來買《從軍日記》的青年，我都愿意親自將書遞給他。但對方并不知道我就是那本書的作者，有幾個顧客嫌我包的書不好，表示很生氣的樣子，小伙計正想告訴他我是誰時，我連忙使了個眼色制止了他，弄得那位青年莫名其妙地打量了我很久，然后悻悻然地離去。

快到黃昏的時候，我居然拿到了五元錢。歸來，我不再搭三等車了，趾高氣揚地跑進了頭等車，那位售票員忙指著前面一節車說：”到三等車去吧！”他大概看見我穿的衣服太破舊，以為一定是個坐不起頭等車的窮光蛋。我忙把五塊錢的鈔票拿在手里，故意向他示威：

“喂，找錢來吧!”

他這才低下頭不做聲了。

意外地遇到一個青年拿了一本《從軍日記》坐在我的旁邊看，他竟大膽地向我宣傳，要我去買一本來看看，我回答他：“我不贊成女人當兵，所以也不喜歡看這本書。”

他聽了非常不高興，竟罵我思想頑固。

“廿世紀時代的女性不應該這樣開倒車的！”他氣憤憤地說。

[21] I purposely kept up the argument till it attracted the attention of all passengers. After I got off the streetcar at the Carter Road stop, I hurried excitedly to call on Guang Guang. Being hard up, she and Yuan Zhen were immensely pleased to see me, guessing I must have brought some money with me to share with them. I quickly gave them two dollars and spent the remaining two dollars and something treating them to dinner at a small eatery. I returned home with only a few cents left. But I didn't care, because I knew I had had a full meal to last me three days without feeling hungry.

[22] It was also at this time that I started to take to drinking. The poorer one is, the more he looks upon money as dirt. I often wonder why a miser should be so rigid in self-denial, even grudging to spend every single cent for himself. All I seek is inner joy. The material life, however hard it is, will never affect my mind and will. When I have money, I'll share it with friends in need, or go to a restaurant to eat and drink to my heart's content, or buy and bring home many things I like to eat, such as dried shrimps, dried roast beef, salted duck's gizzard and liver, candies. When I'm broke, I'll go strolling around the streets alone on an empty stomach, or shut myself up in my small room with nothing to eat, or lie in bed sleeping for a couple of days or reading an interesting novel, just to while away the terrible long days.

[23] If I'm asked what it is like to go hungry, my answer is prompt and clear-cut, "Keep starving yourself for four days, my dear friend, and you'll know." Honestly, hunger is even more painful than death. It is the greatest of all human sufferings. When you hear your own stomach rumbling with hunger, you'll feel as if a large snake were trying to gnaw its way out of your belly. Sometimes, you feel so giddy that you cannot rise from your bed no matter how hard you try to, and your legs feel like jelly so that you cannot walk. Sometimes, you feel nauseous, but you throw up nothing but the gastric juice. You may even feel like gulping down a piece of flesh bitten off your own arm so as to appease your unbearable hunger. That made me believe as true the tragic story of ancients driven by hunger "to eat the flesh of each other's son" and victims of some calamity-stricken areas cooking corpses as food.

[24] Destitute as I am, I can bear my privation with great fortitude. I never yield, never bow to the rich, never think that a woman's way out is to marry a wealthy man.

[25] Hunger deepens my knowledge of the reality and gives me more courage to live. From now on, I'm going to redouble my efforts to struggle not only for myself, but also for thousands upon thousands of young men and women who, like me, are on the brink of starvation.

我故意和他辯論了很久，惹得全車廂的人都注意起來。車子駛到卡德路，我就下來了。懷著一顆興奮的心，跑去找光光。她和元真正窮得沒法過日子，見我去時很高興，猜想我一定拿到了錢，連忙向我瓜分。我立刻給了她們兩元，其余的兩元多，就花在請她們吃飯的小館子里，等到回去，又只剩幾毛錢了。但我并不難受，我覺得吃了一頓飽飯，至少可以挨餓三天。 學會喝酒，也是在這個時候。一個人到了越窮困的時候，對于金錢便越視為糞土，我常常奇怪一錢如命的守財奴，為什么要這樣刻苦自己，半文錢也不肯花。我只要精神痛快，物質生活哪怕再苦些，也不能絲毫影響我的思想和意志。有錢時我分些給窮朋友用，或者跑到館子里大吃大喝一頓，或者買許多我愛吃的蝦米、牛肉干、鴨肫肝和糖果回來；窮困時，就一個人跑去馬路上喝西北風，躲在亭子間里喝自來水，或者索性蒙在被窩里睡兩天，看看有趣的小說，以消磨這可怕的長日。 如果有人問我：“饑餓的滋味怎樣？”我立刻干脆地回答他：“朋友，請你四天不吃一點東西，餓一下試試吧。”老實說，饑餓的確比死還要難受，比受了任何巨大深刻的痛苦還要苦。當你聽到腸子餓得咕咕地叫時，好像有一條巨蛇要從你的腹內咬破了皮肉鉆出來一般；有時你餓得頭昏眼花，坐起來又倒下去了，想要走路，一雙腿是酸軟的，拖也拖不動；有時一口口的酸水從肚子里翻上來，使你嘔吐，但又吐不出半點東西；更有時餓得實在不能忍受了，就想在自己的胳膀上咬下一塊肉來吞下去，這時我才相信古時“易子而食”和現在有些地方把死人的肉煮來當飯吃的慘事是真的。 雖然這樣窮困，但我這副硬骨頭始終不屈服，不向有錢的人低頭，更不像別人認為女人的出路是找個有錢的丈夫。

饑餓只有加深我對現社會的認識，只有加強我生的勇氣，從此我更要奮斗，為了自己，也為了萬萬千千和我同樣在饑餓線上掙扎著的青年男女。