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191.The anal-retentive retailer
191.肛門便秘型人格的零售商
There was a retailer who specialized in selling reversible clothing. Being anal-retentive, his personality was somewhat restrictive, which tended to retard his sales. Every time a customer approached him about his reversible clothing, he would become nervous, his anus would tighten, and he would retreat from the sales room immediately. Things being as they were, the retailer decided to retire from the retail business, choosing only to retain a few items of clothing for himself.
有一個零售商專賣兩面穿的衣服。但是由于他是肛門便秘型，所以在性格方面他或多或少受到了一點限制，而且這也在某種程度上妨礙了他的銷售。每當有顧客過來詢問那些兩面穿的衣服時，他就會感到非常緊張，肛門繃緊，馬上要從銷售室里撤出。既然如此，零售商決定從他的零售生意中引退，只為他自己留了幾件衣服。
On the night that he made the decision for his retirement as he was sleeping, the heavens opened up to reveal God sitting in his heavenly glory. God spoke in a mighty voice saying, "Reversible Clothing Retailer!" God's voice reverberated through the heavens. The retailer dropped to the floor covered in golden heavenly light, kneeling reverently. "I command you to revise your attitude and reverse your decision about retirement. You shall continue to sell reversible clothing." The retailer replied, "But Your Holiness, I am anal-retentive and I retreat from the sales room when customers approach." "Do you revere me?" retorted God. "Make a revision in your opinion and retract your statement!" The retailer said, "Your Holiness, I know you are all powerful. I beg you to retool my personality and enable me to fulfill your commands." God replied, "In retrospect, you have been a good man. Your only fault is that you are anal-retentive. As a sign of my retrospective decision, I shall send you a golden retriever. Every time you see him, you will have confidence."
在決定退休的那一天夜里，他做了個夢，夢里天空打開后出現了這樣的情景：上帝伴隨著圣潔的光輝端坐在那里。上帝用威嚴的聲音說道："專營可正反兩面使用的衣服的零售商！"他的聲音在天堂里不斷回響著，零售商極端虔誠地跪倒在金光閃閃的地板上，"我命令你改正你的態度，并撤消你的退休決定。你應該繼續賣那些可正反兩面穿的衣服。"零售商回答道："但是神圣的主啊，我有肛門便秘型性格，當顧客來的時候我總是要逃出銷售間。""你尊敬我嗎？"上帝反駁道，"修正你的觀點，收回你的言論！"零售商說道："圣主啊，我知道您法力無邊，我請求您重組我的性格，以便我能執行您的命令。"上帝回答道："回顧過去，我發現你一直以來就是一個好人。你唯一的過錯就是你是一個肛門便秘型性格的人。為了表示我的回顧性決策，我將送你一條金色的拾物犬，一看到它你就信心百倍。"
The next morning, the retailer wasn't sure whether his revelation was real or just a dream. Nevertheless, when he opened his front door, he saw a golden retriever sitting there with the morning paper in his mouth. The retriever followed him everywhere and gave him confidence. The retailer was no longer anal-retentive, and his reversible clothing sold very well. In addition, the retriever retrieved the paper for him every morning.
第二天早上醒來的時候，零售商無法肯定他的啟示究竟是現實還是夢境。然而，打開大門的時候，他真的看見了一條金色的拾物犬坐在門口，嘴里叼著一張晨報。后來不管去哪，這只狗都跟在零售商后面，它也確實給了他信心。現在零售商再也不是一個肛門便秘型性格的人了，他的那些兩面穿的服裝賣得很好。此外，那條拾物犬每天早上都幫他取報紙。
