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171 The platitudinous priest
171 老調重彈的牧師
There was a priest who, because of his plainspoken sermons, was considered pioneering in his field.
有一個牧師在布道時敢于直言不諱地說話，因此被認為是牧師行業的先驅者。
When he gave his sermons, he would use plain language to avoid platitude and pique the interest of the congregation.
在布道時，他總是使用簡單平實的語言，盡量避免陳詞濫調，因而總能激起教眾的極大興趣。
Of course any pious pioneer is going to have his antagonist, and the priest was no exception.
當然，任何虔誠的先驅者都會遇到唱反調的人，這位牧師也不例外。
One Sunday morning, after passing around the collection plate, the priest was giving his sermon, and God cursed the heathens with a plague
一個星期天早上，在教徒們捐贈的圣餐具旁走了一圈之后，這位牧師開始布道了，…主用災禍詛咒那些異教徒…
He had already reached a plateau, and as he was approaching the pivotal point, one of the men, who had been squirming and pivoting in his pew, suddenly stoop up and yelled, Plagiarism! Plagiarism!
當他的布道已達到了類似高原的高潮時期，正要說出最關鍵的一點的時候，有一個一直以座位為支點不安分地扭動不已的人突然站起來喊道：剽竊！剽竊！
The congregation began to grumble.
教徒們開始抱怨了。
The priest, trying to placate the congregation, said to the man, Sir, if I have spoken any platitudinous remarks,
那位牧師試圖安撫教眾，對那個人說道：先生，如果我是老調重彈…
As the priest spoke and gestured, he inadvertently knocked over a wine pitcher next to the platform, which in turn fell into the orchestra pit and struck a boy soprano, who let out a high-pitched, ear-splitting shrill.
牧師激動的手比地說著，一不留神他碰倒了講壇旁邊的一個大酒罐，它又跟著跌進了樂隊演奏池里，砸到了一個唱高音的小男孩。小男孩跟著尖叫了一聲，音調極高，簡直是震耳欲聾。
The rafters at the top of the church shook, a plate like piece of plaster followed by a plank fell and struck the antagonistic man.
教堂的屋梁都被震動了，一塊層狀的石膏和一塊厚木板先后掉了下來，剛好砸在了那個唱反調的人身上。
As the man was lying in the ambulance with a bottle of plasma connected to his arm, a policeman said, Who is the plaintiff here?
當那個人躺在救護車里，胳膊上還吊著一瓶血漿的時候，警察問他，誰是原告？
I am, said the man. And who is the accused? asked the policeman.
我是。那個人回答道。那么誰是被告？警察又問。
I am, said the priest. The priest mumbled to himself, It would have been better if I had been struck by the plague.
我是。牧師一邊回答一邊喃喃自語道，如果災禍降臨在我身上情況可能都好多了，
The priest is now serving time at a penal plantation.
牧師現在正在勞改種植園里服刑。
