1、廢話連篇急煞讀者

失敗案例：

Topic --Should college students be allowed to get married?

This topic is very interesting. I am very interested in talking about this topic. Because I am also a college student and I am not married……

修改方案：開門見山 直奔主題

In my opinion, it would not be a wise decision to allow college students to get married。

2、觀點不明態度曖昧

失敗案例：

Topic--Should college students be allowed to get married?

I think this topic is very hard to say. Because I am still very little, only 17, and not married, so this topic is very difficult for me……

3、漸行漸遠 離題千里

失敗案例：

Topic---It is said that nowadays one can not acquire the qualifications and quality essential to success through university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

I think to success, we must have a lot of important qualities. To have these important qualities, we must learn a lot of things, for example, English, music, and etc. We can learn these qualities from our teachers, our friends and from books. All in all, we can learn from many places。

4、中式英語人見人跪

失敗案例：

Topic 1-The happiest moment in your life

In our life, there are always some moments which make your heart flower opened angrily……

Topic 2- The population problem

The population problem is a very big problem. For example, in the city centers of Shanghai, we can always see people mountain people sea there。

Topic3- Is there fairness in today's business world?

I think in today's society, there is no fairness in the business world. For example, I always chop when I go out buy things……

Topic 4- The advantage of being a nice person

Being a nice person have many advantage. I believe if a person always does bad things, he will get “baoying”。

5、語法錯誤慘不忍睹

失敗案例：

Topic---If children behave badly, should their parents accept responsibility and also be punished?

About this problem, my think is if children behave badly, then parents are not right. Because teach child is parent's responsibility. So we also punish parents too besides children is also should。

6、過分簡單沒有重點

失敗案例：

Topic---The importance of environmental protection

This issue is surely very important, let's talk about it!

7、用詞不當表達不準

失敗案例：

Topic--Should college students be allowed to get married?

I think college students should not be allowed to get married because they are very young and so we can't take the responsibility to form a family。

8、意思重復徘徊不前

失敗案例：

Topic--Your opinion on DINK families

My opinion on DINK families is that DINK families is not a good thing. And it is a bad thing. It brings no benefits to our society and it is even sometimes harmful to our society。

9、中國俗語隨心翻譯

失敗案例：

Topic 1---Is it good to have a large family?

I think it is good to have a large family. Because we Chinese believe a sentence: “Many sons, many lucks”……

正確說法：Happiness lies in having many children

Topic 2 -Should we pretend to know everything or admit our ignorance?

We all know, our Chinese old fathers and grandfathers said: “Know is know, don't know is don't know”……

Topic 3- Do you think one's character is greatly influenced by his/her family?

Chinese old words says very good: Dragon born dragon, phoenix born phoenix, rat's son can make hole……

Topic 4- The advantage of being a nice person

I believe one sentence:“A good person is all life safe”. We Chinese people always say: “Good has good pay, bad has bad pay”。

10、觀點武斷脫離實際

失敗案例：

Topic1--The importance of confidence

In my opinion, confidence is the most important thing for a person. All the successful people in the world are full of confidence. While those people who don't have confidence, they all have failed.

Topic 2 -- The solution to the traffic problem

I think to solve the traffic problem, very easy! For those who don't obey the traffic rules, we should put all of them into prison. If we do that, I'm sure there will be no traffic problem any more.

以上從許多學生的托福獨立作文中總結出來、并參照了一些教材得出的托福寫作考試中需避免的開頭方式，希望考生們引以為戒。