CHAPTER THREE

第三章

THE DROPOUT

出離 頓悟

Turn On, Tune In . . .

修行

Chrisann Brennan

克里斯安布倫南

Toward the end of his senior year at Homestead, in the spring of 1972, Jobs started going out with a girl named Chrisann Brennan, who was about his age but still a junior. With her light brown hair, green eyes, high cheekbones, and fragile aura, she was very attractive. She was also enduring the breakup of her parents’ marriage, which made her vulnerable. “We worked together on an animated movie, then started going out, and she became my first real girlfriend,” Jobs recalled. As Brennan later said, “Steve was kind of crazy. That’s why I was attracted to him.”

1972年春天,喬布斯高中即將畢業(yè)時(shí)，開始與一位叫做克里斯安·布倫南的女孩兒交往。這個(gè)嬉皮士風(fēng)格的女孩超凡脫俗，品與喬布斯同齡，但比他低一年級(jí)。她有一頭淺褐色的秀發(fā)，綠眼睛，高顴骨，有些柔弱，十分迷人。她承受著父母婚姻破裂帶來的痛苦，變得十分脆弱?！拔覀円黄鹬谱饕徊縿?dòng)畫片，然后開始交往，她成了我第一任正式女友。”喬布斯回憶說。布倫南后來說：“史蒂夫很瘋狂，這也正是他吸引我的地方。”

Jobs’s craziness was of the cultivated sort. He had begun his lifelong experiments with compulsive diets, eating only fruits and vegetables, so he was as lean and tight as a whippet. He learned to stare at people without blinking, and he perfected long silences punctuated by staccato bursts of fast talking. This odd mix of intensity and aloofness, combined with his shoulder-length hair and scraggly beard, gave him the aura of a crazed shaman. He oscillated between charismatic and creepy. “He shuffled around and looked half-mad,” recalled Brennan. “He had a lot of angst. It was like a big darkness around him.”

喬布斯的瘋狂是以一種有教養(yǎng)的方式體現(xiàn)的。他開始了伴隨他一生的強(qiáng)制性飲食實(shí)踐——僅僅食用水果和蔬菜——所以他又瘦又結(jié)實(shí)，就像惠比特犬一樣。他學(xué)會(huì)了眼睛一眨不眨地盯著別人，他喜歡在長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的沉默中斷斷續(xù)續(xù)地加入語速極快的講話。這樣一種激情和冷漠的奇怪組合，再加上他那一頭及肩長(zhǎng)發(fā)和稀疏的胡茬兒，讓他看上去就像個(gè)瘋癲的薩滿巫師。他時(shí)而展現(xiàn)超凡魅力，時(shí)而讓人毛骨悚然?！八粩嘧兓蜗螅雌饋碛悬c(diǎn)兒半瘋，”布倫南回憶說，“他經(jīng)常焦慮不安，好像有無盡的黑暗包圍著他?！?/span>

Jobs had begun to drop acid by then, and he turned Brennan on to it as well, in a wheat field just outside Sunnyvale. “It was great,” he recalled. “I had been listening to a lot of Bach. All of a sudden the wheat field was playing Bach. It was the most wonderful feeling of my life up to that point. I felt like the conductor of this symphony with Bach coming through the wheat.”

喬布斯當(dāng)時(shí)已經(jīng)開始服用迷幻藥了，在森尼韋爾郊外的一處麥田里，他讓布倫南也加入了其中。“感覺很好，”他回憶說，“那段時(shí)間我聽了很多巴赫的音樂。就在一瞬間，整個(gè)麥田似乎都在演奏巴赫。那是我到那時(shí)為止人生中最美妙的感觸。我覺得自己就是交響樂的指揮，巴赫也好像出現(xiàn)在了麥田里?！?/span>

That summer of 1972, after his graduation, he and Brennan moved to a cabin in the hills above Los Altos. “I’m going to go live in a cabin with Chrisann,” he announced to his parents one day. His father was furious. “No you’re not,” he said. “Over my dead body.” They had recently fought about marijuana, and once again the younger Jobs was willful. He just said good-bye and walked out.

1972年夏天，喬布斯畢業(yè)之后，他和布倫南搬到了洛斯阿爾托斯一座山上的小屋里。“我要去小屋里和克里斯安同居了?！庇幸惶焖绱讼蚋改感?。他父親怒不可遏?！安粶?zhǔn)去，”他說，“除非我死了。”他們最近剛剛因?yàn)榇舐榈氖虑闋?zhēng)吵過，但這一次小喬布斯還是非常頑固。他說了聲再見就走出了家門。

Brennan spent a lot of her time that summer painting; she was talented, and she did a picture of a clown for Jobs that he kept on the wall. Jobs wrote poetry and played guitar. He could be brutally cold and rude to her at times, but he was also entrancing and able to impose his will. “He was an enlightened being who was cruel,” she recalled. “That’s a strange combination.”

那年夏天，布倫南用了很多時(shí)間畫畫。她非常有才華，畫了一幅小丑的畫送給喬布斯，他一直把它掛在墻上。喬布斯平時(shí)就寫寫詩，玩玩吉他。他有時(shí)候會(huì)對(duì)布倫南非常冷血和粗魯，但有時(shí)候又十分迷人，可以輕易說服別人接受自己的意愿?！八荛_明，又很殘酷，”她回憶說，“真是奇怪的組合。”

Midway through the summer, Jobs was almost killed when his red Fiat caught fire. He was driving on Skyline Boulevard in the Santa Cruz Mountains with a high school friend, Tim Brown, who looked back, saw flames coming from the engine, and casually said to Jobs, “Pull over, your car is on fire.” Jobs did. His father, despite their arguments, drove out to the hills to tow the Fiat home.

暑假中間，有一次喬布斯的紅色菲亞特著火了，他差點(diǎn)兒因此喪命。當(dāng)時(shí)他正行駛在圣克魯茲山區(qū)的天際線大道上，與他同行的是一個(gè)高中朋友，蒂姆·布朗（TimBrown）。蒂姆朝后看了一眼，發(fā)現(xiàn)引擎在往外冒火花，于是他平靜地對(duì)喬布斯說：“靠邊停車，你的車著火了?！眴滩妓拐兆隽恕Ｋ赣H盡管與他發(fā)生了爭(zhēng)執(zhí)，還是驅(qū)車來到山區(qū)，把菲亞特拖回了家。

In order to find a way to make money for a new car, Jobs got Wozniak to drive him to De Anza College to look on the help-wanted bulletin board. They discovered that the Westgate Shopping Center in San Jose was seeking college students who could dress up in costumes and amuse the kids. So for $3 an hour, Jobs, Wozniak, and Brennan donned heavy full-body costumes and headgear to play Alice in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter, and the White Rabbit. Wozniak, in his earnest and sweet way, found it fun. “I said, ‘I want to do it, it’s my chance, because I love children.’ I think Steve looked at it as a lousy job, but I looked at it as a fun adventure.” Jobs did indeed find it a pain. “It was hot, the costumes were heavy, and after a while I felt like I wanted to smack some of the kids.” Patience was never one of his virtues.

為了想辦法賺錢買一輛新車，喬布斯讓沃茲尼亞克開車帶他去了迪安扎學(xué)院，到那里的公告板上尋找招工啟事。他們發(fā)現(xiàn)，圣何塞的西門購物中心（WestgateShoppingCenter）正在招募大學(xué)生，要他們穿上戲服逗小孩子玩。為了3美元一小時(shí)的報(bào)酬，喬布斯和沃茲尼亞克以及布倫南穿上厚厚的全套戲服，戴上帽子，扮演夢(mèng)游仙境的愛麗絲、瘋帽子和白兔子。真誠又親切的沃茲尼亞克，覺得這一切十分有趣。“我說：‘我想做這個(gè)，這是我的機(jī)會(huì)，因?yàn)槲蚁矚g小孩子?！覐幕萜照?qǐng)了假。我想史蒂夫覺得這是個(gè)爛工作，但我把它當(dāng)做一次愉快的經(jīng)歷。”喬布斯確實(shí)做得很痛苦：“太熱了，那些服裝又很重，只要在里面待上一會(huì)兒我就會(huì)產(chǎn)生揍那些小孩兒的沖動(dòng)?！薄澳托摹边@個(gè)詞，從來就與喬布斯沽不上邊兒。