Language Points

"My mother wasn't the best person in the world. She was hooked on her*in for most of my life. She sold our childhood home for drug money. She left me alone to raise my brother and disabled nephew. I used to wake up every night to feed him and change his diapers. I supported us all on the $5.15 an hour that I earned from the grocery store. My mother passed away a few months ago, and I think I'm just now coming to terms with how awful she made my life. This is the most stable I've ever been. I have a permanent address. I have someone who legitimately loves me. But my anxiety has never been worse. I've been having panic attacks recently. I think I've never had to deal with the trauma because things were always coming at me. And now I'm not sure how to handle the quiet."
我的媽媽并不是這個世界上最好的人。她一直沉迷于海*因；她曾經(jīng)賣掉了我童年時的家去買毒品；她常常不管我去照顧我的弟弟和殘疾的侄子。我那時每晚都要在半夜起來喂我的侄子，給他換尿布。我需要靠著我在雜貨店打工每小時掙5.15美金的工資來養(yǎng)活一家人。我媽媽在幾個月前去世了，我想我現(xiàn)在慢慢向現(xiàn)實妥協(xié)，她的確把我的生活弄得一團(tuán)糟。我的生活從未如此穩(wěn)定，我終于有了一個永久的地址；一個愛我的人。但我的焦慮卻從未如此嚴(yán)重，我最近常常突然覺得恐慌。我之前一直忙于解決那些爛攤子以至于沒有時間去處理這段創(chuàng)傷，但現(xiàn)在日子漸漸平靜起來后，我反而不知所措。