人總是在自我反省和他人的反饋中逐步提升自己。他人的反饋，包括對你的建議和評價，而這些建議和評價不總是在夸你或者認可你。大多數人只聽認同自己的好話，別人說了他半點不好或是不對，便在心理上無法接受，要么立即屏蔽這些在他看來負面的建議，當耳旁風；要么就和提出反對建議的人據理力爭。
在面對別人的負面評價時，出于本能，我們內心會不開心，因為這種負面評價貶低了我們的自尊。但如果換個角度來思考，他人若是能提出這些在你看來貶低自己自尊的建議，必然說明他們看待問題的角度和你不同。而我們要得到真正的提升，其實就是要從不同的角度全面審視自己，發展自我。
所謂“忠言逆耳”，當別人提出不討好你的建議時，首先你要非常客觀地面對這些“忠言逆耳”的建議，其次，別人提出的建議也不一定完全客觀，你一定要站在自己的角度和立場針對性的選擇一些適合你自身情況的建議；第三，即使別人說你不好，也不要放在心上，甚至懷疑自我，因為有時也很難保證別人說的這些話不是有目的的傷害你或是利用你。
包容地看待一切，但一定要清晰自己的方向。今天分享一篇英語美文，叫做Golden Advice,文章講述了關于得到別人負面建議時的故事。

New Words：
shortcoming n. 缺點；短處
wonder vi.想知道；
be of help有幫助，有用

When I was about 12, I had an enemy, a girl who liked to point out my shortcomings. Week by week her list grew: I was very thin, I wasn't a good student, I talked too much, I was too proud, and so on. I tried to bear all this as long as I could. At last, I became very angry. I ran to Daddy with tears in my eyes.
大約12歲時,我有一個仇人,那是一個喜歡指出我缺點的女孩。一周周過去,她給我列的缺點來越多:我很瘦,我不是好學生,我太愛說話,我太驕傲。我盡量長時間地忍受這些。最后,我變得非常生氣,就含淚跑去見爸爸。
He listened to me quietly. Then he asked, "Are the things she says true or not? Allen, didn't you ever wonder what you're really like? Well, you now have that girl's opinion. Go and make a list of everything she said and mark the points that are true. Pay no attention to the other things she said."
爸爸靜靜地聽我說完。隨后,他問道：“她說的這些是不是真的? 愛琳,難道你不想知道自己的真實模樣嗎?那么,你現在有了那個女孩的意見。去把她所說的一切都列下來,在對的上面打分。對她所說的其他事情不要在意。”
I did as he told me. To my great surprise, I discovered that about half the things were true. Some of them I couldn't change (like being very thin), but a good number I could-and suddenly I wanted to change. For the first time I got a fairly clear picture of myself.
我按照爸爸說得去做了。令我大為驚訝的是,我發現大約一半都是對的。其中有些我無法改變（比如很瘦）,但好多我可以改變，而且突然我想改變。我第一次對自己有了一個相當清晰的印象。
I brought the list back to Daddy. He refused to take it. "That's just for you," he said. "You know better than anyone else the truth about yourself. But you have to learn to listen, not just close your ears in anger and feel hurt. When something said about you is true, you'll find it will be of help to you. Our world is full of people who think they know your duty. Don't shut your ears. Listen to them all, but hear the truth and do what you know is the right thing to do."
我將這個清單送給爸爸。他沒有去接。“那只是給你的,”他說,“你比任何別得人更清楚自己真實的一面。但你必須學會去聽,不要生氣地閉上耳朵, 感覺受了傷。當說到得有關你的事情是對的時,你會發現那會對你有幫助。我們的世界充滿了那些自認為知道你的責任的人。不要閉上耳朵。要聽他們所有的人的話,但要聽到真話,做你知道是正確的事情。”
Daddy's advice has returned to me at many important moments. In my life, I’ve never had a better piece of advice.
爸爸的建議在很多重要時刻都回響在我的耳邊。一生中,我從來沒有聽過比這更好的建議。

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