哀互生

Mourning for Husheng

朱自清

Zhu Ziqing

三月里劉熏宇君來信，說互生病了，而且是沒有希望的病，醫生說只好等日子了。四月底在《時事新報》上見到立達學會的通告，想不到這么快互生就歿了！后來聽說他病中的光景，那實在太慘；為他想，早點去，少吃些苦頭，也未嘗不好的。但丟下立達這個學校，這班朋友，這班學生，他一定不甘心，不瞑目!

In March I heard from Mr. Liu Xunyu that Husheng was sick and hopelessly sick at that. The doctor said there was nothing he could do but to trait for the day to arrive. Toward the end of April, I came across an obituary issued by Lida Association in the newspaper Current Affairs. How quickly the day had arrived! Later, when I learned how he had suffered during his illness, I thought it was too miserable. From his point of view, however, his passing away was not a bad thing after all, because he suffered less by going earlier. But it must have been very hard for him to close his eyes and resign himself to the fact that he was leaving his Lida School, his friends and his students behind.

互生最叫我們紀念的是他做人的態度。他本來是一副銅筋鐵骨，黑皮膚襯著那一套大布之衣，看去像個鄉下人。他什么苦都吃得，從不曉得享用，也像鄉下人。他心里那一團火，也像鄉下人。那一團火是熱，是力，是光。由他不愛多說話，但常常微笑；那微笑是自然的，溫暖的。在他看，人是可以互相愛著的，除了一些成見已深，不愿打開窗戶說亮話。的。他對這些人卻有些憎惡，不肯假借一點顏色。世界上只有能憎的人才能愛；愛憎沒有定見，只是毫無作為的腳色。公互生覺得青年成見還少，希望最多；所以愿意將自己的生命一滴不剩而獻給他們，讓愛的宗教在他們中間發榮滋長，讓他們都走向新世界去。互生不好發議論，只埋著頭干干干，是儒家的真正精神。我和他并沒有深談過，但從他的行事看來，相信我是認識他的。

What wag most memorable about Husheng was his attitude toward life. He was as strong as a man of steel, his dark complexion set off by clothes of coarse cloth, looking like someone from the countryside. He could withstand any hardship and never sought ease and comfort. In this respect he was like a countryman, too. Again like a countryman, he had a heart as warns as fire radiating warmth, power and light. He was a man of few words, but of all smiles. His smile was natural and friendly. In his view, people could love each other, except those with deep prejudices and those who could not bring themselves out in the open. He hated these people, and to them he wouldn't show anything like gentleness. In this world, only those who could hate could love. Those who did not know what to love and what to hate were useless people. Hussheng thought that young people had little prejudice but lots of future promise, so he was willing to devote his life to them without reservation, letting the religion of love grow and flourish among them so that they could all go to a new world. Husheng was not fond of talking too much, instead, he put his mind on work, and work, and nothing but work--an embodiment of the Confucian spirit. Though I never had a chance to talk with him very closely, I was convinced that I understood him from the way he carried himself and conducted matters.

互生辦事的專心，少有人及得他。他辦立達便飲食坐臥只惦著立達，再不想別的。立達好像他的情人，他的獨子。他性情本有些猖介，但為了立達，也常去看一班大人先生，更常去看那些有錢可借的老板之類。他東補西湊地為立達籌款子，還要跑北京，跑南京。有一回他本可以留學去，但丟不下立達，到底沒有去。他將生命獻給立達，立達也便是他的生命。他辦立達這么多年，并沒有讓多少人知道他個人的名字，他早忘記了自己。現在他那樣壯鍵的身子到底為立達犧牲了。他殉了自己的理想，是有意義的。只是這理想剛在萌芽；我們都該想想，立達怎樣才可不死呢?立達不死，互生其實也便不死了。

Few people 1 knew of were as devoted as Husheng. When he was running Lida School, all his thoughts were on the school, whatever he did. Lida was like his sweetheart, his only son. He was by nature an honest man, but for the sake of Lida, he had to go and see important people, bosses and others from whom he hoped to borrow money. To raise funds, he had to run many places, even as far as Beijing and Nanjing. Once he could have gone to study abroad, but he did not go in the end because he could not tear himself away from the school. He had sacrificed his life for Lida and Iida had become his life too. Though he was head of the school for so many years, he never tried to make his name known to the public. He had forgotten about himself altogether. Now he had worked himself to death for Lida despite his robust constitution. He had died for his ideal-a meaningful death. His ideal was merely beginning to bud. Now we should all think about one question: what must we do to keep Lida alive? If Lida is kept alive, Husheng lives on.

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