Then she glared at this young doctor so ill informed about Guy Fawkes' failed scheme to blow King James off his throne with barrels of gunpowder in 1605. "You may know a lot about medicine, but you obviously don't know any history," she said. Having told him exactly what was on her mind, she left us again.
然后,她便盯著這個年輕醫生。1605年蓋伊·福克斯妄圖用一桶火藥將詹姆斯一世趕下王位,但最終失敗了。眼前這位醫生對這段歷史卻一無所知。“也許你知道很多醫學知識,但你顯然對歷史一無所知。”她說。她把對醫生的意見全說出來之后,再次拋下我們去神游了。
Then doctors diagnosed a hopeless senility or hardening of the arteries. I thought it was more complicated than that. For ten years or more the ferocity with which she had once attacked life had been turning to a rage against the weakness, the boredom, and the absence of love that too much age had brought her. Now, after the last bad fall, she seemed to have broken chains that imprisoned her in a life she had come to hate and to return to a time inhabited by people who loved her, a time in which she was needed. Gradually I understood.
隨后醫生診斷出她患有不可治愈的衰老癥或是動脈硬化。我卻認為并不這么簡單。這十多年來,她把自己與生活做斗爭的猛勁逐漸轉化為一腔怒火,這種憤怒源自因自己上了年紀而身體虛弱、生活無趣以及缺少關愛等種種狀況。而今,自從這次重重地摔了一跤后,她仿佛掙脫了那根枷鎖,那根將她禁錮在自己所厭倦的生活中的鎖鏈,并重新回到了那個周圍人都疼愛她、需要她的時代。漸漸地,我明白了這一點。
Three years earlier I had gone down from New York to Baltimore, where she lived, for one of my infrequent visits and, afterwards, had written her with some banal advice to look for the silver lining, to count her blessings instead of burdening others with her miseries. I suppose what it really amounted to was a threat that if she was not more cheerful during my visits I would not come to see her very often. Sons are capable of such letters. This one was written out of a childish faith in the eternal strength of parents, a naive belief that age and wear could be overcome by an effort of will, that all she needed was a good pep talk to recharge a flagging spirit.
三年前,我偶爾會從紐約到她居住的巴爾的摩去探望她。在一次探望之后,我給她寫了封信,信里是些勸人的套話,鼓勵她樂觀些,多想想幸福的事,而不要用她的苦惱為他人徒增負擔。我猜想這封信對她來說無異于是一種威脅,威脅她如果在我探望期間表現得不夠高興,我便不會經常去探望她——孩子們總是能寫出此類信件。這封信是出于一種孩子氣的信念,認為父母具有永恒的力量;同時也是出于一種天真的想法,認為意志力可以戰勝衰老與虛弱,而她也只需幾句鼓勵的話就可以重新振作起來。