For example, a schoolboy who sees himself as an "F" type student, or one who is "dumb in mathematics," will invariably find that his report card bears him out. He then has "proof." A young girl who has an image of herself as the sort of person nobody likes, will find indeed that she is avoided at the school dance. She literally invites rejection. Her woebegone expression, her hang-dog manner, her over-anxiousness to please, or perhaps her unconscious hostility towards those she anticipates will affront her - all act to drive away those whomshe would attract. In the same manner, a salesman or a businessman will also find that hisactual experiences tend to "prove" his self-image is correct.
例如,一個把自己看作“不及格”型的學生,或者“在數(shù)學上很笨”的學生,總會發(fā)現(xiàn)他的成績單證明他的看法是對的。于是,他就有了“證據(jù)”。一個自認為沒人喜歡的女孩子會發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在學校的舞會上的確沒有人來理睬。但這種冷遇完全是她自己招來的。她那副愁眉苦臉的表情,她那種總像做錯了事似的態(tài)度,她那種想討好別人的過于焦急的樣子,或者也許是她對于那些她以為會當面羞辱她的人的無意識的敵意,所有這些會把她本來能吸引的人趕走。同樣,一個推銷員或一個商人也會發(fā)現(xiàn)他的實際經(jīng)歷往往“證明”他的自我意象是正確的。
Because of this objective "proof" it very seldom occurs to a person that his trouble lies in his self-image or his own evaluation of himself. Tell the schoolboy that he only "thinks"he cannot master algebra, and he will doubt your sanity. He has tried and tried, and still his report card tells the story. Tell the salesman that it is only an idea that he cannotearn more than a certain figure, and he can prove you wrong by his order book. He knows only too well how hard he has tried and failed. Yet, as we shall see later, almost miraculous changes have occurred both in grades of students, and in the earning capacity of salesmen - when they were prevailed upon to change their self-images.
由于這一客觀“證據(jù)”,一個人便很少想到自己的問題在于他的自我意象或自己對自己的評價。如果你告訴那位學生,說他只是“以為”自己不能掌握代數(shù),他就會懷疑你神志是否正常。他已經(jīng)試過多次,但他的成績單上依然是不及格。如果你告訴那位推銷員,說他賺的錢不能超過某個數(shù)額只是他的一種想法,他就會用他的訂貨簿來證明你錯了。他非常清楚地知道他曾經(jīng)作過多么艱苦的努力但卻遭到了失敗。然而,正如我們后面將會看到的,在他們被說服并改變了他們的自我意象后,學生們的分數(shù)和推銷員的賺錢能力便都發(fā)生了幾乎是奇跡般的變化。
來源:可可英語 http://www.ccdyzl.cn/daxue/201610/466817.shtml