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There’s an energy crisis in America, and it has nothing to do with fossil fuels. Millions of us get up each morning already weary over the day holds. “I just can’t get started,” people say. But it’s not physical energy that most of us lack. Sure, we could all use extra sleep and a better diet. But in truth, people are healthier today than at any time in history. I can almost guarantee that if you long for more energy, the problem is not with your body.
What you’re seeking is not physical energy. It’s emotional energy. Yet, sad to say, life sometimes seems designed to exhaust our supply. We work too hard. We have family obligations. We encounter emergencies and personal crises. No wonder so many of us suffer from emotional fatigue, a kind of utter exhaustion of the spirit.
And yet we all know people who are filled with joy, despite the unpleasant circumstances of their lives. Even as a child, I observed people who were poor, or disabled, or ill, but who nonetheless faced life with optimism and vigor. Consider Laura Hillenbrand, who despite an extremely weak body, wrote the best-seller Seabiscuit. Hillenbrand barely had enough physical energy to drag herself out of bed to write. But she was fueled by having a story she wanted to share. It was emotional energy that helped her succeed.
Unlike physical energy, which is finite and diminishes with age, emotional energy is unlimited and has nothing to do with genes or upbringing. So how do you get it? You can’t simply tell yourself to be positive. You must take action. Here are six practical strategies that work.
1. Do something new.
Very little that’s new occurs in our lives. The impact of this sameness on our emotional energy is gradual, but huge: It’s like a tire with a slow leak. You don’t notice it at first, but eventually you’ll get a flat. It’s up to you to plug the leak—even though there are always a dozen reasons to stay stuck in your dull routines of life. That’s where Maura, 36, a waitress, found herself a year ago.
Fortunately, Maura had a lifeline—a group of women friends who meet regularly to discuss their lives. Their lively discussions spurred Maura to make small but nevertheless life altering changes. She joined a gym in the next town. She changed her look with a short haircut and new black T-shirts. Eventually, Maura gathered the courage to quit her job and start her own business.
Here’s a challenge: If it’s something you wouldn’t ordinarily do, do it. Try a dish you’ve never eaten. Listen to music you’d ordinarily tune out. You’ll discover these small things add to your emotional energy.
2. Reclaim life’s meaning.
So many of my patients tell me that their lives used to have meaning, but that
somewhere along the line things went stale.
The first step in solving this meaning shortage is to figure out what you really care about, and then do something about it. A case in point is Ivy, 57, a pioneer in investment banking. “I mistakenly believed that all the money I made would mean something,” she says. “But I feel lost, like a 22-year-old wondering what to do with her life.” Ivy’s solution? She started a program that shows Wall Streeters how to donate time and money to poor children. In the process, Ivy filled her life with meaning.
3. Put yourself in the fun zone.
Most of us grown-ups are seriously fun-deprived. High-energy people have the same day-to-day work as the rest of us, but they manage to find something enjoyable in every situation. A real estate broker I know keeps herself amused on the job by mentally redecorating the houses she shows to clients. “I love imagining what even the most run-down house could look like with a little tender loving care,” she says. “It’s a challenge—and the least desirable properties are usually the most fun.”
We all define fun differently, of course, but I can guarantee this: If you put just a bit of it into your day, you energy will increase quickly.
4. Bid farewell to guilt and regret.
Everyone’s past is filled with regrets that still cause pain. But from an emotional energy point of view, they are dead weights that keep us from moving forward. While they can’t merely be willed away, I do recommend you remind yourself that whatever happened is in the past, and nothing can change that. Holding on to the memory only allows the damage to continue into the present.
5. Make up your mind.
Say you’ve been thinking about cutting your hair short. Will it look stylish—or too extreme?
You endlessly think it over. Having the decision hanging over your head is a huge energy drain.
Every time you can’t decide, you burden yourself with alternatives. Quit thinking that you have to make the right decision; instead, make a choice and don’t look back.
6. Give to get.
Emotional energy has a kind of magical quality; the more you give, the more you get back. This is the difference between emotional and physical energy. With the latter, you have to get it to be able to give it. With the former, however, you get it by giving it.
Start by asking everyone you meet, “How are you?” as if you really want to know, then listen to the reply. Be the one who hears. Most of us also need to smile more often. If you don’t smile at the person you love first thing in the morning, you’re sucking energy out of your relationship. Finally, help another person—and make the help real, concrete. Give a massage (按摩) to someone you love, or cook her dinner. Then, expand the circle to work.
Try asking yourself what you’d do if your goal were to be helpful rather than efficient.
After all, if it’s true that what goes around comes around, why not make sure that what’s circulating around you is the good stuff?
1. The energy crisis in America discussed here mainly refers to a shortage of fossil fuels.
2. People these days tend to lack physical energy.
3. Laura Hillenbrand is an example cited to show how emotional energy can contribute to one’s success in life.
4. The author believes emotional energy is inherited and genetically determined.
5. Even small changes people make in their lives can help increase their emotional energy.
6. Ivy filled her life with meaning by launching a program to help poor children.
7. The real-estate broker the author knows is talented in home redecoration.
8. People holding on to sad memories of the past will find it difficult to ________.
9. When it comes to decision-making, one should make a quick choice without ________.
10. Emotional energy is in a way different from physical energy in that the more you give, ________.
