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第119期 "熊孩子"的超搞笑語錄

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Hello again and welcome back to happy hour. Today is Children's Day. So this is going to be a light hearted episode. Those of you who are listening to the show, whether you are a parent or you're teaching kids or you're simply a child at heart. I'm sure you would agree with me that kids say the strangest and funniest things. They simply see the world from a completely different perspective compared to adults. In many cultures, they are vlogs, blogs or tv series documenting these hilarious things kids say. At a turn of the century, there was a quite popular American comedy series actually called Kids Say the Darndest Things. So for today's special episode, I have done my research online and found for you some of the cutest and funniest things kids say. So sit back, this is going to be a fun episode.

So the first category we're gonna look at today is what I call fresh perspectives. Kids, they have completely different angles. The simplest questions, the simplest topics in life that we're so used to might look completely different to them. Ask them a simple question, you might get really unexpected answers, for instance, this seven-year-old said my favorite color is ice cream. Another seven-year-old said, my name is Liz short for lizard not Elizabeth. Or try a question about weight. This can be a sensitive topic, but today we ask my three-year-old cousin how much he weighs. He said, um, like 50 squirrels? Common exercise that we take for granted might also look completely different to kids. This eight-year-old said, yoga is easy, it's just slow karate. Or this wonderful seven-year-old who really likes his brother says, my brother wants to be a marine biologist when he grows up. So I wanna be a dolphin, then we will be together forever. Don't you just love that?

But kids' sayings are not always so nice and cute. They can also be brutally honest. This is the second category, brutal honesty. Someone said I usually watch superhero movies with my nephew. I asked him to see another one with me. And he told me, aunty, I think it's time you get your own friends. Or check out this dad, I asked my daughter, what did you do at school today? My daughter said, learned about dragons. So I asked, your class learned about dragons? My daughter said, I learned about dragons. I don't know what everyone else was doing. Does this conversation sound familiar to you? Or maybe check out this five-year-old boy saying to his dad, Daddy, what do you want for the holidays? Dad said, peace and quiet. The little boy said, haha, well, that's not gonna happen, what else? If you think this is honest, check out another five-year-old little girl. So this mom said, when my child came home from school on the bus, I passed a work conference call I was on to ask her how her day was. My daughter responded, shhhhh, go back to work. I have a list of things I want you to buy me with the money you're making. She is five.


Sometimes it's scary how brutally honest kids can be. Moving on to the next category. Kid logic, because of how kids learn, they usually have their own logical reasoning that sounds just a little bit disconnected from an adult perspective. A 5-year-old said, my aunt is my mom's sister, small world. Or a similar one. Grandma is so good with kids. Why didn't she have any of her own? Or try this one. A few months back, my wife showed a picture of herself to our three-year-old daughter. In the picture, my wife was about seven years old. We asked our daughter, do you know who this is? My daughter gasps. Wow! That's me when I'm bigger. Hard to argue with that logic? But sometimes they also come up with these famous words like, August is the Sunday of the year. Or check this one out, you have a bug on you, but it looks great. Sometimes this kid logic can just be quite confusing. A dad said, my kid has two fish and named them Dave and Dave. I asked him how he can tell them apart. My son said, one of the names is Scottish, so you pronounce it differently. I mean, what do you say to that?

Because kids have unique logic. So if you're trying to argue with them, chances are they will win. For example, my nephew asked me to open a bottle of bleach. And my nephew asked, how did you open it? I tried, but it didn't open. I said, because it has child safety lock, children can't open it. My nephew looks at the bottle, completely amazed. He said, how did it know I was a child? Or this argument between a mom and a 5-year-old. I asked my son, who ate all the cookies. He said, ninjas! I said, funny, I didn't see them. He said, no one ever does. See. You can't argue with that logic, can you?

But it's not just the logic that can bring you to your knees. It's also that sometimes despite their age, they can sound like a mini grown up and that really cracks you up. So the last category of this episode is mini grown-ups. And let's look at some of these. I said to my six-year-old, get up! he said, why? I said, it's Monday. He said. I can't do this every week. Or try this seven-year-old, who said, I'm gonna miss my life when I'm a grown up. Remember feeling like that when you were a child? And on the topic of love, a lot of young kids seem to already have it figured out. This seven-year-old girl said, I really don't want a husband, but I would like to have help around the house. Smart girl! And a conversation between two second grade boys. One said, do you think you will ever fall in love? The other said, I don't know. I think if she likes pancakes, probably. Or surprisingly informed six-year-old who said, I know what the rainbow flags mean. Anyone can love whoever they want to love. If only everyone can be tolerant and open minded like this six-year-old.

And we end today's episode with one 6-year-old Ally. Her life philosophy might be a life lesson to all of us. She simply said, eat dessert first. You never know when the world's gonna end. Maybe kids do know more about the world than we do. Maybe these kids are closer to the truth of life. In the end, I just wanna say that regardless of your age, stay young at heart. Keep that kid in you alive. Life will be much more fun. And please share with us all these fun things that you've heard from kids you know and maybe also from a younger you. Happy Children's Day, everyone. We'll see you next time. Bye.


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category ['kætigəri]

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n. 種類,類別

 
unique [ju:'ni:k]

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adj. 獨(dú)一無二的,獨(dú)特的,稀罕的

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sensitive ['sensitiv]

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adj. 敏感的,靈敏的,易受傷害的,感光的,善解人意的

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tolerant ['tɔlərənt]

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adj. 寬容的,容忍的

 
logic ['lɔdʒik]

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n. 邏輯,邏輯學(xué),條理性,推理

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rainbow ['reinbəu]

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n. 彩虹
adj.五彩繽紛的

 
hilarious [hi'lɛəriəs]

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adj. 歡鬧的,愉快的

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brutal ['bru:tl]

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adj. 野蠻的,殘暴的

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popular ['pɔpjulə]

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adj. 流行的,大眾的,通俗的,受歡迎的

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bleach [bli:tʃ]

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n. 漂白劑,漂白
v. 變白,漂白

 
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