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One morning, Emma woke up with a start. Her husband, Jim, asked what the matter was.
一天早上，艾瑪被驚醒了。她丈夫，吉姆問她怎么回事。
"I had a dream that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day," she said.
她說：“我夢見情人節那天你送了我一個珍珠項鏈。
"What could it mean?" "You'll know tonight," Jim said slyly. That evening, Jim came home with a small package for his wife.
“這意味著什么呢？”“你今晚就知道了，”吉姆狡猾地說道。那天晚上，吉姆給他妻子帶了一個小包裹。
Emma ripped open the wrapping paper, tore into the box, and pulled out her gift—a book entitled The Meaning of Dreams.
艾瑪撕開了包裝紙，撕開盒子，拿出了她的禮物-一本名為《夢想的意義》的書。
I have all of Marie Kondo’s books. Now I just need a way to organize them. I describe my husband's style as "Is that what you're wearing?"
我有近藤麻理惠所有的書。現在我只需要一種方法來讓它們有條理。我將我丈夫的風格描述為“這就是你穿的東西嗎？”
Every year, the Edinburgh Festival Fringe celebrates the world's funniest comics.
每年，愛丁堡藝穗節都會喜迎世界上最有趣的漫畫。
Here's what had us giggling in our kilts this year: "I accidentally booked myself into an escapology course. I'm really struggling to get out of it."
以下是今年讓穿著蘇格蘭短裙的我們咯咯笑的事情：“我不小心報名參加了一個脫逃術課程。我真的在努力逃出來。”
"A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it."
“百科全書很棒。沒有其他詞能形容它。”
"A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, ‘Yes, of course. That's 20 cows.'"
一個牛仔問我是否可以幫他把18頭牛趕到一起。我說：‘可以，當然。這是20頭牛。”
"After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging."
“在學了六小時的旗語后，我萎靡不振了。”
A widower and a widow attend their 70th class reunion, and a long-ago spark is rekindled.
一個鰥夫和一個寡婦參加他們的第70次班級聚會，很久以前的火花重新點燃。
At the end of the night, he asks, "Will you marry me?" "Yes, yes, I will!" she says enthusiastically.
在那天晚上最后，他問道，“你愿意嫁給我嗎？”“愿意，我愿意！”她熱情地說道。
The next morning, the widower wakes up troubled. Did she say yes or no? Confused, he calls her and asks, "Did you say yes or no to marrying me?"
第二天早上，鰥夫醒來時很困惑。她答應了還是沒答應？疑惑的他給她打電話問道，“你有沒有答應嫁給我？”
"I said yes! And I'm glad you called, because I couldn't remember who asked me."
“我答應了！”非常開心你打來了電話，因為我不記得是誰問的我。”
Finally getting around to calling all those kids that wrote in my middle school yearbook, "We should hang out this summer!"
終于開始給那些在我中學年鑒上寫“我們這個夏天應該一起出去玩”的孩子們打電話了！
THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A THREE-YEAR-OLD SAY
你永遠不會聽到一個三歲小孩說的話
"It doesn't really look like a dragon, but never mind, I'll eat it anyway—food is food!"
“它看起來不像是龍，但是別擔心，我還是會吃它的-食物就是食物！”
"Yep, that's exactly how I wanted it done. You've nailed it. Again."
“是的，這正是我想要的。你又一次贏了。”
"Don't need it. Already have three. Let's just stick to our shopping list."
“不需要這東西。已經有三個了。專注于購物清單上的東西就好了。”
"For Pete's sake, Dad. It's 3:30 in the morning. Please, go back to bed— you're starting a new job, and this is the one night you really need some decent sleep."
拜托，老爸。現在才凌晨三點半。回床睡覺好嗎-你已經開始了一份新工作。今晚就是你能好好睡覺的一個晚上。
"Don't hide that square millimeter of zucchini behind the pasta. More! More green! I'm into micro sprouts at the moment too."
“不要把那一平方毫米的西葫蘆放在意大利面后。更多！更多綠色！我現在對小嫩芽感興趣。”
"It doesn't matter how we did this yesterday. Things change!"
“我們昨天是怎么做的沒有關系了。事情已經變了！”
"Here's the remote—I don't really know how to use it anyway."
“這是遙控-我真的不知道該怎么使用它。”
"I bet I can get in my car seat before you can say the words, ‘My back. I can't... straighten ... up ...'"
“在你說這些話‘我的背，我不能挺直’之前，我猜我能進到汽車后座。
"Here's your phone back."
“手機還你”。
