I used to believe that love meant putting everyone else and their needs first, before my own. While I do think there is some truth to that, in the sense that being a giving person is one of the ultimate acts of being a loving person, I came to realize that I must give to and love myself first and foremost.
我曾經認為愛，就意味著所有事都先人后己。直到現在我都認為這種觀點有一定的道理，因為作一個“施愛者”的最高境界之一就是作一個“給予者”。但是，我也漸漸意識到，給予自己、愛自己才是最重要的。

Here's why:
原因如下：
When you put everyone and everything else above you, you are no longer valuing yourself and your needs. And when you are not meeting your needs, and you don't take care of yourself (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually), you can't be the best version of yourself to the special people in your life. So in essence, you don't love them at your full potential!
當你把所有人、所有事都置于自己需求之上，你或許就會忽略自己的價值、忽視自己的需求了。而當你無法滿足自己的需求時，也就意味你就不能夠（在心理上、生理上、思想上、精神上）好好照顧自己了。這樣的話，你便無法在你生命中那些特別的人面前呈現最好的自己。所以，從本質上說，你沒有盡自己全力來愛他們！

Here are some things to consider
你需要思考一下：
1. Are you physically taking care of yourself? Do you nourish yourself with the right foods, get enough sleep, exercise, are at a healthy weight, and on top of your check-ups? If not, I bet your energy is low, you're tired and stressed, and your confidence isn't the highest (because you probably don't feel your best). Now think about how much more you could give to others when you aren't exhausted, you're happy with what you see in the mirror, and you aren't on edge with stress.
你有好好照顧自己的身體嗎？有沒有做到合理健康的飲食來獲得營養、是否給到自己充足的睡眠和鍛煉、有沒有維持健康體重并保持體檢中各項指標正常？如果沒有的話，我確定你的能量肯定很有限，你感到疲倦、壓力很大，而且信心也不是最好的狀態。現在，想象一下，如果你活力滿滿，樂于看到鏡中的自己，也并沒有因為壓力而感到煩躁不安，你能為他人多做多少事啊！

2. Are you emotionally and mentally healthy? As humans, we're so complex and having ups and downs is normal. But in general, assess where you stand emotionally. If it's in a healthy place and you can manage your emotions in a healthy way — great! But if you self-soothe in destructive ways and have a negative attitude and energy about you, realize that it's not just affecting you, but others too. When you aren't an emotionally and mentally healthy person, that energy pours into everything you do, and everyone you're around will feel the effects, too.
你自己的情緒和思想都是健康的嗎？作為人類，我們是非常復雜的，狀態時好時壞也很正常。不過你可以總體評估一下自己的狀態。如果你擁有健康的情緒，而且也可以以一種健康的方式來掌控自己的情緒，那就太棒了！但是，如果你的自我安慰方式是不健康的、對自己的態度和方式消極悲觀、充滿負能量，那么你要明白這種情況不僅會影響到你自己，還會影響到周圍的人。如果你的情緒、思想都處于非健康的狀態，那么負能量會不受控制的影響到你做的所有事務上，而你周圍的每個人也都會受到影響。

3.How's your spirituality? In this sense, spirituality is about having an ultimate purpose and being in tune with your true self. Do you wake up every day excited for what your life is about, and have gratitude for all the abundance you already have? If not, you may not be listening and living to what your heart truly desires. Living this way long term, may affect the essence of your inner being and, in turn, may not allow you to show up your very best for the world.
還有你的精神狀況如何？當然，我說的精神狀態指的是和目前真實內心的你合拍的人生目標。比如，每天早晨醒來你是否都會為自己的人生感到很興奮，同時為你所擁有的一切心懷感恩之情？如果不是，也許你還未傾聽到自己心中真實的渴望、也沒有活成真正的自己。長此以往，可能會影響到你的內在自我本質。話說回來，你也無法向這個世界呈現最棒的自己。

Be kind to yourself.
善待自己吧。
It can be difficult to put your health and wellbeing first when life is demanding between your career, family, friendships, relationships, and so on. If you can think of any ways to improve your wellbeing and love yourself more, start today! Take a baby step towards this. Perhaps try getting an hour more of sleep. Move your body in a way that feels good. Take time for yourself to be with your thoughts and without distractions and feel that peace.
或許把自己的健康和幸福放在首要位置有難度，因為我們每個人都需要平衡事業、家庭、友誼、愛情，等等。但如果你想到有什么樣的方式方法，可以提高自我幸福感，可以愛自己多一些，那么就從今天開始嘗試吧！哪怕先向這個方向邁出一小步——比如，盡量多睡一小時、以自己感到舒服的方式活動活動身體、拿出時間讓自己獨處，遠離紛擾，感受那份安寧。

微信公眾號：英語美文朗讀 孟叔的微博：孟飛Phoenix 孟叔的抖音：184302945