評論
打印
原味人文風情：
Five Stages of Watching a Disney Remake
看迪斯尼改編電影會經歷的五個階段
Stage One: Why Remake This?
第一階段：為什么要改編？
Why remake this?
為什么要改編這部電影啊？
No! Don't you dare! No! Disney is off limits. We are going to watch this and enjoy this thoroughly. Shut up!
不!妳敢!不準!不準批評迪斯尼。我們要完全沉浸在這部電影中。惦惦!
What's up with your voice?
你的聲音怎么了？
I have a cold.
我感冒。
Stage Two: Nostalgia
第二階段：懷舊情懷
Finally! My favorite childhood movie in a brand new live-action version. What could possibly go wrong? Disney can do no wrong.
終于!我小時候最喜歡的電影拍成全新真人版了。能出什么錯？迪斯尼不會錯的。
What's so great about Disney anyway?
迪斯尼到底有什么好的啊？
I refuse to take part in your toxic narrative.
我不要和妳一起毒舌。
I did like Shrek.
我倒是真的喜歡《史瑞克》。
That's not Dis...
那不是迪...
Stage Three: Bargaining
第三階段：自我協商
Oh! They removed that one scene. Okay! That...that's fine. Huh! They added new songs. That's...good, I guess. Oh. Uh, that dress is sort of...underwhelming. I'm... No! I'm having fun! This is fun! Isn't this fun?
喔!他們去掉那一幕了。好吧!沒...沒關系。哼!加了新歌進去。那樣...還不錯吧，我想。喔。呃，那件洋裝有點...讓人倒彈。我... 不!我很享受!這很有趣!這很有趣，對吧？
I like it a lot, actually!
老實說，我很喜歡耶!
Fun.
有趣。
Stage Four: Depression
第四階段：失魂落魄
It wasn't...bad. The CGI was nice. And it's basically the same story, but it wasn't really good either. I feel so empty.
電影...不差。計算機特效很不賴。基本上就是一模一樣的故事，不過其實也不是真的很好看。我覺得好空虛。
Hurts, doesn't it?
心痛痛的，是吧？
Stage Five: Why Remake This?
第五階段：為什么要改編？
Why remake this?!
為什么要改編？!
Let it out.
發泄出來吧。
Why the already good ones? Why not remake a Disney movie that deserves a better point of view, or repairing mistakes? Like, the Hunchback of Notre Dame without the gargoyles, Aristocats minus the racism...the Black Cauldron.
為什么改編已經很棒的那些電影？為什么不改編一部應該有更好的觀點的迪斯尼電影，或彌補一些錯誤？象是，《鐘樓怪人》但不要有怪獸石雕、《貓兒歷險記》刪掉種族歧視的部份...《黑神鍋傳奇》。
Oh, they are remaking that. Google it.
噢，他們在改編那部啦。自己去 google 一下。
Oh! Oh. How many old Disney cartoons are they planning to remake exactly? It's all of them, isn't it?
噢!喔。他們到底計劃要改編多少部以前的迪斯尼卡通啊？全部都要，對不對？
Yeah.
沒錯。
