評論
打印
Haven't you been in love since you came to Paris?
“從你到巴黎以后鬧過戀愛嗎？”
I haven't got time for that sort of nonsense. Life isn't long enough for love and art.
“我沒有時間干這種無聊的事。生命太短促了，沒有時間既鬧戀愛又搞藝術(shù)。”
Your appearance doesn't suggest the anchorite.
“你可不像過隱士生活的樣子。”
All that business fills me with disgust.
“這種事叫我作嘔。”
Human nature is a nuisance, isn't it? I said.
“人性是個討厭的累贅，對不對？”我說。
Why are you sniggering at me?
“你為什么對我傻笑？”
Because I don't believe you.
“因為我不相信你。”
Then you're a damned fool.
“那你就是個大傻瓜。”
I paused, and I looked at him searchingly.
我沒有馬上答話；我用探索的目光盯著他。
What's the good of trying to humbug me? I said.
“你騙我有什么用？”我說。
I don't know what you mean.
“我不知道你是什么意思。”
I smiled.
我笑了。
Let me tell you. I imagine that for months the matter never comes into your head, and you're able to persuade yourself that you've finished with it for good and all. You rejoice in your freedom, and you feel that at last you can call your soul your own. You seem to walk with your head among the stars. And then, all of a sudden you can't stand it any more, and you notice that all the time your feet have been walking in the mud. And you want to roll yourself in it. And you find some woman, coarse and low and vulgar, some beastly creature in whom all the horror of sex is blatant, and you fall upon her like a wild animal. You drink till you're blind with rage.
“叫我來說吧。我猜想你是這樣一種情況。一連幾個月你腦子里一直不想這件事，你甚至可以使自己相信，你同這件事已經(jīng)徹底絕緣了。你為自己獲得了自由而高興，你覺得終于成為自己靈魂的主人了。你好象昂首于星斗中漫步。但是突然間，你忍受不住了。你發(fā)覺你的雙腳從來就沒有從污泥里拔出過。你現(xiàn)在想索性全身躺在爛泥塘里翻滾。于是你就去找一個女人，一個粗野、低賤、俗不可耐的女人，一個性感畢露令人嫌惡的畜類般的女人。你象一個野獸似地撲到她身上。你拼命往肚里灌酒，你憎恨自己，簡直快要發(fā)瘋了。”
He stared at me without the slightest movement. I held his eyes with mine. I spoke very slowly.
他凝視著我，身子一動也不動。我也目不轉(zhuǎn)睛地盯著他的眼睛。我說得很慢。
I'll tell you what must seem strange, that when it's over you feel so extraordinarily pure. You feel like a disembodied spirit, immaterial; and you seem to be able to touch beauty as though it were a palpable thing; and you feel an intimate communion with the breeze, and with the trees breaking into leaf, and with the iridescence of the river. You feel like God. Can you explain that to me?
“我現(xiàn)在要告訴你一件看來一定是很奇怪的事：等到那件事過去以后，你會感到自己出奇地潔凈。你有一種靈魂把肉體甩脫掉的感覺，一種脫離形體的感覺。你好象一伸手就能觸摸到美，倒仿佛‘美’是一件撫摸得到的實體一樣。你好象同颯颯的微風(fēng)、同綻露嫩葉的樹木、同波光變幻的流水息息相通。你覺得自己就是上帝。你能夠給我解釋這是怎么回事嗎？”
He kept his eyes fixed on mine till I had finished, and then he turned away. There was on his face a strange look, and I thought that so might a man look when he had died under the torture. He was silent. I knew that our conversation was ended.
他一直盯著我的眼睛，直到我把話講完。這以后他才轉(zhuǎn)過臉去。他的臉上有一種奇怪的神情，我覺得一個死于酷刑折磨下的人可能會有這種神情的。他沉默不語。我知道我們這次談話已經(jīng)結(jié)束了。
