Thank you so much, please, settle down!What a crowd
謝謝大家 請安靜下來吧 大家好熱情
Everyone have a seat, settle down,You've never seen one of these shows before.
大家請坐吧 簡直像沒看過這種節目似的
Gosh,It's a TV show,Very nice,We have a great show tonight, don't you think?
天吶 是個電視節目呢 太棒了 今晚節目很棒 是吧
Absolutely. You know my opinion doesn't mean much around here,but I think sure it's great
絕對的 雖然我的意見在這里也不頂事 但是 我覺得挺好的
You don't come to rehearsal,How would you know?Just the feeling
你也不來彩排 你怎么知道 就是直覺
Yeah we have an excellent,excellent program tonight, someone just talked about Hillary Clinton campaingning very hard for the presidency. She's out there.
今晚節目很棒 剛才有人說希拉里·克林頓正在努力進行總統競選 她正在外奔走
Getting that vote out,Getting that vote out.
她在到處拉票,到處拉票
In an interview Hillary Clinton said she likes nearly every flavor of ice cream.
在一段采訪中 希拉里·克林頓說 她喜歡幾乎所有的冰淇淋口味
You know,when he heard this Chris Christie said hey, she stole my speech.
聽到之后,克里斯·克里斯蒂說 她搶了我的話
Yeah, I thought that was wrong, myself,I like every flavor of ice cream.
我覺得這不太好 我喜歡每一種冰淇淋口味
Come on, rum raisin,I know ridiculous.
拜托 朗姆葡萄口味 是啊 簡直荒唐
A store in Houston is selling Donald Trump pinatas filled with candy
休斯頓一家商店在出售裝滿糖果的唐納德·特朗普彩罐
So finally something good is going to come out of Donald Trump.
看來唐納德·特朗普終于要有積極貢獻了
A...ah...Acted a lot of stuff there,
一個……啊……我表演了很多東西
A company is trying to fund a new endeavor,I'm not kidding about this,known as Uber for kids.
一家公司想要支持一項新事業 這不是我編的 該事業稱為兒童優步
Yeah, so parents will soon be teaching their kids that they shouldn't talk to strangers but the should get into a car with them.
是的 很快家長就要教孩子 他們不該同陌生人說話 但可以上陌生人的車
That's a true thing, that's the worst idea.
真的 這主意糟糕透頂了
The crowd didn't find anything about that story amusing.
而觀眾們居然完全不覺得好笑
That's a true story.
這是真事啊