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There is no straight path from your seat today to where you are going
從你們所坐的地方到你們要去的地方 是沒有直路的
Don't try to draw that line. You will not just get it wrong
不要嘗試畫這樣的直線 這不僅會出錯
You'll miss big opportunities and I mean big, like the Internet
還會錯失大機遇 我說的是大機遇 例如像互聯網這樣
Careers are not ladders. Those days are long gone
職業并不是梯子 那種時代已經一去不返了
but jungle gyms
職業更像是立體方格鐵架
Don't just move up and down. Don't just look up
不要只上下移動 不要只往上看
Look backwards, sideways, around corners
還要往回看 往旁邊看 看轉角周圍
Your career and your life will have starts and stops and zigs and zags
你的職業和生活會有始終 會有曲折
Don't stress out about the white space, the path you can try
不要對未來的道路太過憂慮
because there in lives both the surprises and the opportunities
因為生活中充滿了驚喜和機遇
As you open yourself up to possibility
你需要對各種可能性持開放態度
the most important thing I can tell you today
今天我要講的最重要的一點就是
is to open yourself up to honesty
對誠實保持開放態度
to telling the truth to each other
相互之間說老實話
to being honest with yourselves
對自己誠實
and to being honest about the world we live in
也對我們所生活的世界保持誠實
If you watched children, you will immediately notice how honest they are
看看小孩 你馬上就能看到他們有多誠實
My friend Betsy was pregnant and her son
我朋友貝琪懷孕后
for the second child, son Sam was 5
她五歲的兒子山姆
he wanted to know where the baby was in her body
想知道寶寶在她身體里的什么地方
So yes Mommy, are the babies arms in your arms?
他問 媽咪 寶寶的胳膊在你的胳膊里嗎
And she said, no no Sam, baby's in my tummy
她回答說 不不 山姆 寶寶在我肚子里
whole baby
整個寶寶
Mom, are the baby's legs in your legs?
媽 寶寶的腿在你腿里嗎
No, Sam, whole baby's in my tummy
不 山姆 整個寶寶都在我肚子里
Then Mommy, what's growing in your butt?
那媽咪 你屁股里長的是什么
As adults
作為成年人
we are almost never dishonest
我們幾乎一直很誠實
and that can be a very good thing
這當然是很好的事情
When I was pregnant with our first child
我在懷第一個孩子時
I asked my husband Dave if my butt was getting big
我問丈夫戴夫 我屁股有沒有變大
At first, he didn't answer but I pressed
最初他沒有回答 但我給他施壓
So he said, yeah, a little
他只好說 有一點吧
For years my sister-in-law said about him what people
我小姑子經常說他的一句話
will now say about you for the rest of your life when you do something done
也是你們以后在生活中經常會聽到有人說到的
and that guy went to Harvard
這伙計竟然是哈佛出來的
Hearing the truth at different times along the way would have helped me
在人生旅途中聽到一些真相本該對我有所幫助
I would not have admitted it easily when I sat where you sit
我在你們這個年齡時 還沒有領會到這一點
But when I graduated, I was much more worried about my love life than my career
在我畢業的時候 我對愛情生活比對事業更加擔心
I thought I only had a few years very limited time to find one of the good guys
我認為自己沒有什么時間了 必須盡快找個好男人嫁了
before he was to, or before they were all taken
避免所有好男人都被別人找去了
or I got too old
或是我變得太老
So I moved to DC, and met with guy
我于是搬到哥倫比亞特區
and I got married at the nearly decrepit age of 24
在"老邁"的24歲找個男人嫁了
I married a wonderful man but I had no business making that kind of commitment
那個男人很不錯 但我倆似乎總是相處不好
I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be
我變得不知道自己是誰 對未來失去了方向
My marriage fell apart within a year
一年不到 我的婚姻就以失敗告終了
something that was really embarrassing and painful at the time
當時我非常難堪 非常痛苦
and it did not help that so many friends came up to me and said
很多朋友來安慰我 但卻毫無幫助 他們說
I never knew that, never thought that was going to work or
我就知道你們倆結婚是行不通的
I knew you weren't right for each other
我就知道你們根本不合適
No one had managed to say anything like that to me
沒人在我婚姻之前跟我說這些
before I marched down an aisle when it would have been far more useful
事前告訴我這些肯定會更有用
And as I lived through these painful months of separation and divorce
我熬過了離婚后的這些痛苦時光
boy, did I wish they had?
我多希望他們原來有給過我建議
And boy, did I wish I had asked them?
我多希望我曾經問過他們
At the same time in my professional life, someone did speak up
而在我的職業生涯中 確實有人無保留地說了出來
My first boss out of college was Lant Pritchett
本科后我的第一任老板是蘭特o普里切特
an economist who teaches at the Kennedy School who is here with us today
肯尼迪學院授課的一位經濟學家 他今天也在現場
After I deferred to law school for the second time
我第二次考慮法學院時
Lant sat me down and said
蘭特跟我說
I don't think you should go to law school at all
我不認為你應該去法學院
I don't think you want to go to law school
我也不認為你想去法學院
I think you think you should because you told your parents you would many years ago
你認為你應當去 大概只是因為你父母想要你去
He noted that he had never once heard me talk about the law with any interest
他注意到 我在談話中從未表現出對法律的任何興趣
I know how hard it can be to be honest with each other
我知道 相互之間坦誠相見是多么困難的事情
even your closest friends, even when they're about to make serious mistakes
哪怕是最親密的朋友 哪怕是在他們可能犯嚴重錯誤時
but I bet sitting here today, you know your closest friends' strength, weaknesses
不過我敢打賭 在座的各位知道自己親密朋友的強項和弱項
what cliff they might drive off
知道他們可能會掉落什么懸崖
and I bet for the most part you've never told them
我也敢打賭 大部分時候 你們并沒有告訴他們
and they've never asked
他們也從沒有問過
Ask them
問這些問題
Ask them for the truth because it will help you
真相會越問越明
and when they answer honestly
朋友們誠實回答時
you know that that's what makes them real friends
你就知道他們是你真正的朋友了
Asking for feedback is a really important habit to get into
養成尋求反饋的習慣是非常重要的
as you leave the structure of the school calendar and exams and grades behind
特別是在離開學校系統 沒了考試和分數之后
On many jobs if you want to know how you're doing
很多工作中 如果你想知道自己干得怎樣
if you're going to have to ask and
你就需要去詢問
then you're gonna have to listen without getting defensive
而且不要因為聽到不喜歡聽的而覺得受到冒犯
Take it from me, listening to criticism is never fun
毫無疑問 聽人批評絕對不會讓人高興
