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Let's face it: English is a stupid language.
不要懷疑：英語是一種愚蠢的語言。
There is no egg in the eggplant,no ham in the hamburger,and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.English muffins were not invented in England;and French fries had nothing to do with France.
茄子里沒有雞蛋，漢堡里也沒有火腿，在鳳梨即沒有松木也沒有蘋果。英國松餅不是在英國發明的；而炸薯條與法國一點關聯都沒有。
We sometimes take English for granted,but if we examine its paradoxes we find that quicksnad takes you down slowly,boxing rings are square,and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
我們有時候習慣的以為英語就是這樣說的，但如果我們探討它似是而非的地方，我們會發現流沙是讓你慢慢陷下去的，拳擊場是方型的，而天竹鼠既不是來自幾內亞，更不是豬。
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down,in which you fill in a form by filling it out,and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.
你不是不驚訝于這種獨特的瘋癲語言，比如說你的房子被燒毀時，它是燒起來的，當你填表之時，是要填寫出的，而鬧鐘響起來（go off）是因為它自己啟動了（go on）。
English was invented by people,not computers,and it reflects the creativity of the human race(Which of course isn't a race at all).That is why when the stars are out they are visible,but when the lights are out they are invisible.And why is it that when I wind up my watch is starts but when I wind up this story it ends!
英語是由人而不是由電腦發明的，它反應的是人類的創造力（那當然根本就不是一種競賽）。那就難怪當星星出來（out）時是看得見的，但是燈光減了（out）時是看不見的。為什么我給我的手表上緊發條時它就開始走了，而當我完結了這個故事時它結束了。
