評論
打印
Lying to a Loved One
情人的謊言
What are the benefits of lying to a loved one? Whether we like it or not, our relationships are held together, not only by telling the truth, but also by knowing how and when to lie. And if the truth be told, our close relationships could not work without some degree of deception. No one want to hear everything, and telling the right lie at the rigt time is just as important as telling the truth when it comes to love and romance.
欺騙我們愛的人有什么益處嗎？不論我們是否喜歡這么做，相愛的人總是要在一起相處。我們知道什么時候說真話或者謊話，也知道說謊的方式。如果說實(shí)話，那么我們之間親密的關(guān)系可能沒有欺騙。每個人都有不想知道的事，當(dāng)涉及愛和浪漫，在恰當(dāng)?shù)臅r間說善意的謊言和說實(shí)話同樣重要。
The most painful and hurtful thing you can do to someone usually involves telling the truth. Typically, the best way to hurt someone is by being completely honest—tell a romantic partner something that he or she does not want to hear. For instance, would any one want to hear the following:
愛人間，最令人不快和最具殺傷力的事情常和說真話有關(guān)系。典型的傷害別人的最好方式是完全說實(shí)話——告訴你的另一半他或者她不愿意聽到的事。比如，沒有誰愿意聽到這些：
You are not as attractive as you used to be.
你已經(jīng)不如從前那樣有吸引力了。
I sometimes think about someone else during sex.
做愛的時候我在想別人。
I sometimes wonder if we should be together.
有時候我在想我們是不是應(yīng)該在一起。
I have a crush on one of our friends.
我迷戀上了我們都認(rèn)識的一個朋友。
And we are happier and feel close to our romantic partners when we do not have to acknowledge such painful, hurtful truths. In fact, we like it when our partners hide unpleasant facts from us. As long as we are not aware that partners are hiding things, ignorance can be blissful.
我們可以不用坦誠這些會讓人不快，會傷害到對方的事實(shí)，這樣我們會感到更幸福，彼此更加親密。事實(shí)上，我們喜歡隱瞞彼此間那些不愉快的經(jīng)歷。只要不去在意對方這么做，我們就能收獲喜悅和幸福。
On the other hand, when we really want to hurt someone we often say what we really think. Anyone who has been involved in a divorce knows first-hand how damaging the truth can be. When people are no longer concerned about keeping a relationship intact, the truth comes out fast and furious and it stings.
相反地，如果真的想要傷害對方，我們經(jīng)常會說出自己的心里話。那些離過婚的人非常清楚說什么能夠打擊和傷害到對方。當(dāng)人們不再想保持完好無損的關(guān)系時，真相就會噴涌而出，傷害雙方之間的感情。
While telling the truth in a romantic relationship can often lead to a lot of hurt, pain, and suffering, deception is not a luxury; it is an absolute necessity. Deception serves as a "social lubricant," which safely separates romantic partners and their negative thoughts.
愛人間相處說實(shí)話常會導(dǎo)致大量的傷害、痛苦和苦楚，而欺騙也并不是奢侈品，它是絕對必要的。欺騙是一個“社交潤滑劑”，安全地將伴侶和他們的消極想法隔離開。
Deception is often useful when romantic partners ask:
回答伴侶問題時，善意謊言很有用：
What are you thinking about?
你在想什么呢？
Where were you?
你當(dāng)時在哪兒？
Who were you with?
你當(dāng)時是和誰在一起？
Is the new hair attractive?
新發(fā)型好看嗎？
Did you miss me?
你想我嗎？
Do you love me?
你愛我嗎？
Why are you so quiet?
為什么你那么安靜？
Is there anything wrong?
有什么不對的地方嗎？
