周玉娟 山東大學
Be Ourselves

Earlier this year, I took part in the Jessup Moot Court Competition. When our team finally got kicked out of the game, one of my teammates lost control of her emotions. For all this time, she's been under great pressure, pressure from our coach, from teammates, and from herself. She once told me that her dad saved money to buy her a laptop just for this competition and she could not afford to lose. But we lost, at least in the official meaning of the term "lose". Now, throwing her fists on that laptop, she cried:"I've failed our team. I've failed again. Why is this happening to me? Why?" Then she looked up at me with her tearful eyes and said something, something that sent shivers down my spine. She said:"Jo, sometimes, I feel that I'm redundant in this world." At that moment, I knew I was not the only person who has the idea of killing myself. Sometimes, on the surface, we look peaceful, nice, smiling, but deep inside, we're screaming. The birds are chirping, the flower just in season, but we can stay numb to every good thing in life, because in our world, we're suffocating. In this crazy world, everyone can be so burdened with pressure that sometimes life becomes too heavy too bear. And death becomes an easier solution. That's why Joy, the guitar man in the movie 3 idiots finally quit, by hanging himself. In the world of pressure, the living want to die.

On the other side, there’s another picture. Someone on our campus just got leukemia. His classmates are donating money to help him. Another acquaintance of mine is also suffering from leukemia. His parents have gone to Beijing to see him. It has been about a year now and they haven't come back. In this other world, the dying want to live.

Why is it so? What makes the difference in people’s attitudes towards life? Perhaps because people’s expectations have changed. Only when faced with a fatal disease can one truly let go of those irrelevant things of life and be oneself. Two words mark the difference between the miserable living and the hopeful dying, two words--"let go". Then why don’t we let go of those irrelevant things now? Why torment ourselves with pressure--the world's most shameless killer, having ourselves go after things the majority rate as "success"? If we're suffocating in pursuit of happiness, how can that happiness be said to be worth pursuing? If we can be so miserable as to find the world not worth clinging to, why not let go of everything and do what we like to do about this life?

Perhaps we should let go now rather then wait until we’re dying to let go. Letting go of the expectations of others, be it family or friends or society. Letting go of the outer scorecards and follow our own passion. Letting go of the fear to live our own life. It is my belief that when you let go of everything in the outside world, you can begin to find your own wonderland. Perhaps that is the solution to all the pressure and misery, to let go of the outer scorecards and live our life the way we love.

Remember that song the guitar man sang before committing suicide:

"Lifelong I lived
The life of another
For just one moment
Let me live as I...
Give me some sunshine
Give me some rain
Give me another chance
I wanna grow up once again"

Let's leave the outside world behind and create a world of our own. Be who we want to be and all is well.

Thanks for your attention.