評(píng)論
打印
A Changed Man 17
一個(gè)悔過自新的人 17
This was the first time she had seen or heard of d’Urberville since she had left Trantridge．
自從離開純?nèi)鸺怪螅@是她第一次見到或聽說德伯。
And although he stood there openly as a preacher，as a religious man，she still felt afraid of him．
雖然他是以一個(gè)傳道士、一個(gè)虔誠的基督徒的身份公然地站在那里，可是，她對(duì)他仍然感到恐懼。
He had changed his clothes，his hair，his moustache and his expression，but could she really believe that he had changed his most secret thoughts and beliefs？
他已經(jīng)改變了他的裝束、他的發(fā)型、他的胡須和他的表情，可是她真地能相信他已經(jīng)改變了他內(nèi)心最深處暗藏的想法和信念嗎？
As soon as she recovered from her surprise，she moved away so that he would not notice her．
她一從驚異中緩過神來，就趕緊走開了，想避免讓他注意到她。
But he suddenly caught sight of her，and the effect on him was electric．
但是他突然看見她了，這一發(fā)現(xiàn)給他帶來了觸電般的震驚。
His enthusiasm faded，his voice hesitated，his lips trembled，his eyes dropped in confusion．Tess walked rapidly away along the road．
他的激情消退了，他的聲音含糊了，他的嘴唇哆嗦著，他的眼睛慌亂不安地瞟來瞟去。苔絲加快步伐上了路。
However，as she walked she felt he must be looking at her back as she walked away．
然而，她一邊走一邊覺得他在她離開時(shí)一定盯著她的背影看。
And now she knew she could never escape the past，as she had hoped．
現(xiàn)在她知道了，她永遠(yuǎn)都無法如她所希望的那樣擺脫過去。
Reminders of her past would surround her until she died．
在她死去之前，她過去經(jīng)歷的各種見證者重重包圍著她。
As she walked uphill she heard footsteps behind her，and，turning，saw that it was the one person in the whole world she did not want to meet this side of the grave．
當(dāng)她朝著山上走去時(shí)，她聽到背后響起了腳步聲，她掉過頭去，看見的是那個(gè)只要她一息猶存，便最不愿意在這世上見到的人。
‘Tess！’he said．‘I'm Alec d’Urberville！’
“苔絲！”他說，“我是亞歷克·德伯！”
‘I see you are，’she said coldly．They walked on together．
“我知道是你，”她冷漠地回答。他們一起朝前走著。
‘You may wonder why I'm following you．Well，I feel you are the person I would most like to save from hell．So I have come to do that．’
“你一定納悶，為什么我要跟著你。嗯，我覺得你是我最想從地獄中拯救的一個(gè)人。所以我就來這么做了。”
‘Have you saved yourself？’Tess asked bitterly．
“你拯救了你自己嗎？”
‘God has done it all，not me！I must tell you how I came to believe in Him．Have you ever heard of the parson of Emminster，old Mr Clare？A very strict，sincere man．’
“是上帝做了這一切，不是我！我得告訴你我是怎樣漸漸地相信他的。你曾經(jīng)聽說過愛敏斯特的牧師，老克萊爾先生嗎？一個(gè)嚴(yán)格、真誠的人。”
‘I have，’said Tess．
“我聽說過，”苔絲說道。
‘Well，he came to Trantridge once and tried to show me how wicked my life was．I insulted him at the time．
“嗯，有一次他來到純?nèi)鸺梗吡o我指出我當(dāng)時(shí)的生活是多么邪惡。那時(shí)候，我辱罵了他。
But later my mother died，and somehow I began to think about what old Mr Clare said．Since then my one desire has been to help others to understand God too…’
可是后來，我母親去世了，不知怎么地，我開始思考老克萊爾先生說過的話。打那以后，我唯一的愿望就是幫助其他人，還有了解上帝……”
‘Don't go on！’cried Tess．‘I can't believe in such a sudden change！I almost hate you for talking to me like this， when you know how you've ruined my life！
“別再說下去了！”苔絲叫了起來，“我不能相信這樣一個(gè)突如其來的改變！你這樣跟我說話，我?guī)缀跻弈懔耍∧阒溃阍鯓拥匕盐业纳罱o毀掉了！
You enjoy yourself for a while and then you make sure of your place in heaven！’As she spoke she looked him full in the face with her great beautiful eyes．
你尋歡作樂了一段時(shí)間后，又要確保在天堂里給你留個(gè)地方！”她用她那雙美麗的大眼睛直直地盯著他的臉，說道。
‘Don't look at me like that！’said Alec．‘Your eyes remind me of—well，women's faces have too much power over me．Don't look at me！It might be dangerous for you！’
“別這樣看著我！”亞歷克說，“你的眼睛讓我回想起了——唉，女人的臉蛋對(duì)我的威力真是太大了。別看著我！這可能對(duì)你有危險(xiǎn)！”
Eventually they came to a crossroads，where a strange stone stood．It was a lonely，unfriendly place，where people did not like to stay for long．Alec stopped here．
終于，他們來到了一處三岔路口，那兒豎著一塊奇異的石頭。這是個(gè)荒僻、險(xiǎn)惡的地方，人們都不喜歡在此久留，亞歷克在這兒停住了。
‘I must go to the right here．I'm preaching at six this evening．Tell me，how has your life been since we last met？’
“我得在這兒右拐了，今晚六點(diǎn)鐘我還要講道呢。跟我說說，我們分手以后你的生活怎么樣？”
Tess told him about the baby．Alec was shocked．
苔絲跟他說了孩子的事。亞歷克很震驚。
‘You should have told me！But before we part，come，put your hand on this stone．It was once a holy cross．
“你早該告訴我！那么，來，在我們分手之前，你把手放在這塊石頭上，這里有過一個(gè)神圣的十字架。
I'm afraid of your power over me．Swear on the cross that you will never tempt me into wickedness！’
我很害怕你對(duì)我產(chǎn)生的威力。對(duì)著十字架發(fā)誓你永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)引誘我犯罪！”
‘Good God！How can you ask such an unnecessary thing！I don't want to see you ever again！’
“我的天哪！你怎么會(huì)要我做這種毫無必要的事！我連見都不想再見你！”
‘No，but swear it．’
“沒錯(cuò)，不過，發(fā)誓吧。”
Tess placed her hand on the stone and swore．
苔絲把她的手放在石頭上，發(fā)了誓。
‘I shall pray for you，’called Alec as he walked away．‘Who knows，we may meet again！’
“我會(huì)為你祈禱的，”亞歷克一邊走一邊喊道，“誰知道呢，也許我們還會(huì)再見面的！”
Tess went on her way，feeling upset，and soon met a man on the road．
苔絲怏怏不樂地繼續(xù)她的路程，不久，她在路上碰見了一個(gè)人，
He told her that the cross was not religious，but marked the place where a criminal was put to death and buried．
他告訴她，那個(gè)十字架沒有宗教的含義，而是給一個(gè)罪犯被判處死刑和埋葬的地方做個(gè)標(biāo)記。
Trembling a little at this information，she finally arrived at Flintcomb－Ash．
聽到這件事情讓苔絲有些發(fā)顫。終于，她走到了弗林特石灰谷。
One day the following week when Tess was working in the fields as usual，Alec d’Urberville came to see her．
接下來的那個(gè)星期，有一天苔絲正像平常那樣在地里干活兒，亞歷克·德伯看她來了。
He explained to her that he intended to sell his land at Trantridge and go to help poor people in Africa．
他向她說明他打算把純?nèi)鸺沟耐恋刭u了，然后去非洲救助那兒的窮人。
‘Will you help me put right the wicked thing I did to you？Will you be my wife？’
“你愿意幫我挽回我對(duì)你犯下的罪過嗎？你愿意做我的妻子嗎？”
‘Oh no，sir！’she cried，horrified．
“哦，不，先生！”她驚駭?shù)亟械馈?/div>
‘Why not？’Disappointment was visible in his face．It was not only duty which pushed him to make this offer，but also his old passion for her．
“為什么不行？”他臉上的失望顯而易見。不僅僅是他的責(zé)任促使他提出這個(gè)請(qǐng)求，還有他對(duì)她昔日的激情。
‘You know I don't love you，’answered Tess．‘In fact，I love somebody else．’
“你知道我不愛你，”苔絲回答說，“實(shí)際上，我愛上別人了。”
‘Perhaps that is only a passing feeling…’ ‘No！’
“也許那只是一時(shí)的感情……”“不是！”
‘Yes！Why not？You must tell me！’
“是的！為什么不是？你一定得告訴我！”
‘Well，then… I have married him．’
“嗯，那么……我已經(jīng)嫁給他了。”
‘Ah！’he cried and looked hard at her．
“啊！”他驚叫起來，愕然地注視著她。
‘It's a secret here，’she begged．‘Please don't tell anybody．’
“在這兒，這是個(gè)秘密，”她請(qǐng)求道，“請(qǐng)不要告訴任何人。”
‘Who is he？’asked d’Urberville．‘Where is he？Why isn't he here to look after you？What sort of husband can he be，leaving you to work like this？’
“他是誰？”德伯問道，“他在哪兒？他為什么不在這兒照料你？把你拋下干這樣的活兒，他算哪門子的丈夫？”
‘Don't ask！’cried Tess，her eyes flashing．
“別問了！”苔絲叫道，她的眼睛閃著光。
‘Your eyes！’whispered Alec．‘I thought I no longer felt anything for you，but when I look into your eyes…’He took her hand．
“你的眼睛！”亞歷克喃喃說道，“我原以為我對(duì)你已不再有什么感覺了，但是，當(dāng)我看到你的眼睛……”他抓住了她的手。
She pulled it quickly away．
她急忙抽了出來。
‘Go now，please，in the name of your new religion，go！Respect me and my husband！’
“走吧，請(qǐng)你走吧，以你的新信仰的名義，走吧！請(qǐng)尊重我和我的丈夫！”
‘Don't worry，I can control myself．I just hoped that our marriage would take away the bad in both of us．But that plan is no good now．’He walked slowly away，his head bent in thought．
“別擔(dān)心，我能控制自己。我原來只是希望我們的結(jié)合能除去我們兩個(gè)人身上的罪惡。可是這個(gè)計(jì)劃現(xiàn)在看來已經(jīng)不合適了。”他慢慢地走開了，低頭沉思著什么。
The farmer approached at that moment and was angry with Tess for wasting time talking to a stranger．
這時(shí)，農(nóng)場(chǎng)主過來了，他對(duì)苔絲浪費(fèi)時(shí)間和一個(gè)陌生人交談這事大為惱火。
Tess preferred hard words from this man of stone to sweet ones from Alec d’Urberville．
苔絲寧愿受到這個(gè)冷酷的人的嚴(yán)厲譴責(zé)，也不愿意聽到亞歷克·德怕的甜言蜜語。
For a moment，however，she imagined escaping from her present hard life by marrying Alec，but rejected it immediately．
然而，有一刻她想象著與亞歷克結(jié)婚來擺脫她目前艱難的生活，但是立即又打消了這個(gè)念頭。
At home that night she began a letter to Clare，telling him of her great love for him．
那晚，她在房子里開始給克萊爾寫信，傾訴她對(duì)他深厚的愛情。
Reading between the lines he would have seen her secret fear for the future．
從字里行間，他原可以體會(huì)她對(duì)未來暗藏的恐懼。
But again she could not finish the letter，thinking of his offer to lzz，and so he never received it．
可是她又想起了他對(duì)伊茨的請(qǐng)求，又一次沒能把信寫完，因此，他根本就收不到這封信。
On a Sunday in February she was eating her lunch in the cottage where she lived，when d’Urberville knocked at the door．He rushed in and threw himself into a chair．
2月的一個(gè)星期天，她正在她住的小房子里吃著午飯，德伯敲響了門，他沖了進(jìn)來，一屁股坐在了椅子上。
‘Tess！’he cried desperately．‘I can't help it！I can't stop thinking of you！Pray for me，Tess！’
“苔絲！”他聲嘶力竭地喊道，“我無法克制自己！我無法停止想你！為我祈禱吧，苔絲！”
Tess did not pity him．‘I cannot because I don't believe God would change His plans just because I asked Him．’
苔絲并不同情他。“我不能。因?yàn)槲蚁嘈派系鄄粫?huì)因?yàn)槲业恼?qǐng)求就改變他的安排。”
‘Who told you that？’
“誰這么跟你說的？”
‘My husband．’
“我的丈夫。”
‘Ah，your dear husband… Tell me what he believes．’
“啊，你親愛的丈夫……告訴我，他都相信些什么。”
Tess explained，as clearly as she could remember，Angel's beliefs．Alec watched her closely．
苔絲根據(jù)記憶，盡可能清楚地闡述著安吉爾的信念。亞歷克密切地注視著他。
‘The fact is，you just believe whatever he says．That's just like you women！’
“事實(shí)上就是，你相信他說的每一句話。你們女人都是這樣的。”
‘Ah，that's because he knows everything！’Tess replied with enthusiasm．‘What is good enough for him is good enough for me．’
“哦，那是因?yàn)樗酪磺惺虑椋?rdquo;苔絲充滿激情地回答道，“對(duì)他足夠好的東西對(duì)我同樣足夠好。”
‘H'm，interesting，’murmured d’Urberville．‘Perhaps he understands religion better than old Mr Clare．
“哼，真有意思，”德怕咕噥著，“也許他比老克萊爾先生更好地理解了宗教。
Perhaps he's right not to attach too much importance to the Bible and to fixed ideas．
也許他是對(duì)的，不要太受《圣經(jīng)》和那些教條觀念的束縛。
Perhaps I was wrong to become a preacher．Today I should be preaching at half－past two，and here I am！My passion for you was too strong for me！’
也許是我錯(cuò)了，竟想成為一個(gè)傳教士。今天，我應(yīng)該在兩點(diǎn)半的時(shí)候講道，但是我在這兒！我對(duì)你的感情太熾烈了！”
‘You have let all those people down？They are waiting for you！’
“你讓那些人都失望了？他們正在等著你呢！”
‘What do I care？You are the one woman I have always wanted．
“我在乎什么？你一直是我想要的女人。
Why have you tempted me away from religion？I can't resist you！’His black eyes flashed passionately．He advanced towards her．
為什么你把我從宗教信仰里誘惑出來了？我無法抵御你！”他的黑眼睛顯露出心蕩神馳的情欲，他一步步朝她靠近。
‘I couldn't help your seeing me again！’cried Tess，moving nervously away from him．‘Please leave me！Remember I am married！Remember I can't defend myself！’
“我無法讓你不再見到我！”苔絲叫著，神經(jīng)質(zhì)地從他身邊閃開，“請(qǐng)離開我吧！記住我已經(jīng)結(jié)婚了！記住我無法保護(hù)自己！”
Alec stopped，turned，and went out without another word．But he went on thinking of Angel's religious logic，as explained by Tess．
亞歷克不動(dòng)了，一句話也沒再說，轉(zhuǎn)身走了出去。但是，他還在繼續(xù)思考著苔絲闡述的安吉爾的宗教邏輯。
It seemed to make sense．‘That clever husband doesn't know that his ideas may lead me back to her！’he laughed to himself．
它看起來合情合理。“那個(gè)聰明的丈夫不知道他的思想可能會(huì)把我重新牽回到她身邊！”他在心里竊笑道。
In March the threshing－machine came for a day to Flintcomb－Ash．
3月的一天，弗林特庫姆一帶來了一輛打谷機(jī)。
It was a huge red machine which ate all the corn the farm－workers could feed it．Next to it stood the engine which ran it，and the engineer．
這是一臺(tái)大型的紅色機(jī)器，它可以吞掉農(nóng)場(chǎng)工人們裝進(jìn)去的所有麥子。它的旁邊放著一臺(tái)開動(dòng)它的發(fā)動(dòng)機(jī)，還站著一個(gè)技師。
He lived in a world of fire and smoke，and was permanently black，as if he came from hell．
他生活在一個(gè)煙與火的世界里，永遠(yuǎn)是黑乎乎的，好像從地獄里來的一般。
The farmer put Tess next to the threshing－machine，so that she had the hardest and most tiring job of all．
農(nóng)場(chǎng)主安排苔絲站到打谷機(jī)邊上，這樣她就得干最繁重最乏味的活兒。
She had little chance to talk or rest，and at lunch time was about to start eating when she noticed d’Urberville approaching．
她幾乎沒有機(jī)會(huì)說話或休息。到了午飯時(shí)間，她正準(zhǔn)備吃飯時(shí)，看見德伯過來了。
He had Changed his parson's clothes and now looked just like the young gentleman she had first met at Trantridge．
他已經(jīng)換掉了那身牧師的服裝，現(xiàn)在看起來就與她在純?nèi)鸺钩醮斡龅綍r(shí)的那個(gè)年輕的紳士一樣。
‘I am here again，you see，’he said，smiling at her．
“你看，我又來了。”他笑著對(duì)她說。
‘Why do you bother me like this？’she cried．
“你為什么老來煩我呀！”她大叫起來。
‘You trouble me！Your eyes look at me night and day．I can't forget them．
“是你擾亂了我的心！你的眼睛日日夜夜地注視著我。我無法忘記它們。
Tess，when you told me about that child of ours，my feelings for you became strong again．I have lost interest in religion and it is your fault！’
苔絲，當(dāng)你把我們的孩子的事跟我說了的時(shí)候，我對(duì)你的感情又變得熾烈起來了。對(duì)宗教我已經(jīng)失去了興趣，這是你的罪過。”
‘You have stopped preaching？’asked Tess，shocked．
“你已經(jīng)停止布道了嗎？”苔絲震驚地問道。
‘I have．What a lot of stupid people they are to listen to a preacher anyway！And I am convinced that your wonderful husband's views are better than old Parson Clare's．
“是的，停止了。總之，他們是多么愚蠢的一大群人啊，聽一個(gè)傳教士布道！我為你那偉大的丈夫的觀點(diǎn)折服了，我確信他的觀點(diǎn)比老克萊爾牧師的好。
I don't know how I became so enthusiastic！So now，here I am，my love，just as in the old times！’
真不知道我怎么就變得熱情高漲了！所以，現(xiàn)在，我來了，親愛的，就像過去的日子一樣！”
‘Not like that at all，no，now it's different！’she said firmly．‘Oh why couldn't you stay religious？’
“一點(diǎn)兒也不像那樣了，不，現(xiàn)在情況不同了！”她堅(jiān)決地說道，“哦，為什么你不能保持你對(duì)宗教的虔誠？”
‘Because you've explained your husband's ideas so well to me that I accept them！Ha ha！But seriously，Tess，you need help．
“因?yàn)槟闳绱松鷦?dòng)地向我解釋了你丈夫的觀點(diǎn)，我接受它們了！哈哈！不過，說正經(jīng)的，苔絲，你需要幫助。
I am here and this husband of yours is not．Come with me！My carriage is waiting the other side of the field！You have tempted me，now share my life for ever！’He put an arm round her waist．
我在這兒，而你的那個(gè)丈夫不在。跟我來吧！我的馬車就在田那頭等著！你已經(jīng)引誘我了，現(xiàn)在，永遠(yuǎn)地和我一起共享生活吧！”他伸出一只手臂，攬住了她的腰。
Tess was red with anger but said nothing．She picked up a heavy leather glove and hit him in the face with it．
苔絲氣得漲紅了臉，可是一句話都說不出來。她抓起了一只笨重的皮手套，朝他的臉打去。
It was an action which her ancestors must have often practised．Alec jumped up and wiped the blood from his mouth．
這一定是她的祖先們經(jīng)常要練習(xí)的動(dòng)作。亞歷克跳了起來，擦了擦嘴角滲出的血。
‘Remember one thing！’he said angrily，only just controlling himself as he held her by the shoulders．
“記住一件事情！”他惱怒地說道，抓住她的肩膀，克制著自己。
‘Remember，my lady，if you are any man's wife，you are mine！I will have you again！I'll come back for an answer later on！’
“記住，我的小姐，如果你是任何一個(gè)男人的妻子，你就是我的！我會(huì)再度擁有你的！晚些時(shí)候，我會(huì)再來聽你的回音！”
So he left，and the farm－workers started the afternoon's threshing．It went on until the evening，as the work had to be finished that day．
于是他離開了，農(nóng)場(chǎng)工人又開始了下午打谷的活兒。因?yàn)檫@活兒必須在今天干完，所以一直持續(xù)到晚上。
Tess became more and more exhausted and was near to fainting when they finally stopped．Alec d’Urberville，who had been waiting for this moment，appeared at her side．
苔絲越來越精疲力盡，等到他們終于干完時(shí)，她幾乎快暈倒了。一直在等候著這個(gè)時(shí)刻的亞歷克·德伯出現(xiàn)在她的身邊。
‘You are so weak，’he said，holding her arm．‘I've told the farmer he should not use women for work with the threshing－machine．It's too hard．I'll walk home with you．’
“你太虛弱了，”他抓著她的手臂說道，“我已經(jīng)告訴農(nóng)場(chǎng)主了，他不應(yīng)該讓女人跟著打谷機(jī)干活。這活兒太累人了，我陪你走回去。”
‘Oh yes，please do！’murmured Tess，too tired to be afraid of him．‘You are kind sometimes．And at least you wanted to put right the wrong by offering to marry me．’
“哦，是的，好吧！”苔絲喃喃地說道，她太累了，已感覺不到對(duì)他的懼怕。“有時(shí)候你的心腸挺好的，至少，你想彌補(bǔ)過去的過失，提出要跟我結(jié)婚。”
‘If I can't marry you，at least I can help you．I have finished with religion．But you must trust me！I have enough money to help your family and make them comfortable．’
“如果我不能娶你，至少我可以幫助你。我已經(jīng)跟宗教沒有什么瓜葛了，但是你一定要信任我！我有足夠的錢幫助你的家人，讓他們都過得舒舒服服的。”
‘Have you seen them lately？’asked Tess quickly．‘God knows they need help…but no—no，I can take nothing from you，either for them or for me！Please leave me alone！’
“你最近見過他們嗎？”苔絲急切地問道，”“上帝知道，他們需要幫助……但是，不——不，我不能從你這兒拿任何東西，不管是為他們還是為我自己！請(qǐng)讓我一個(gè)人待著吧！”
As soon as she reached her room she wrote a passionate letter to Angel．My own husband，
她一回到房間，就給安吉爾寫了一封感情深切的信。我自己的丈夫：
I must call you that．I must ask you for help—I have no one else！I am so open to temptation，Angel！I cannot tell you who it is．
我必須這樣稱呼你，我必須向你呼救了——我別無他人可求！我是這么毫無防衛(wèi)地受到誘惑，安吉爾！我不能告訴你他是誰。
Can't you come to me now，before anything terrible happens？I know you are far away，but I need help！
你難道不能趁著現(xiàn)在，不等可怕的事情發(fā)生，立即趕到我身邊來嗎？我知道，你在很遠(yuǎn)的地方，但是我需要幫助！
I know I deserved the punishment you gave me，but please，Angel，please be kind to me！If you would come，I could die in your arms！
我理解你給我的懲罰，我罪有應(yīng)得，可是請(qǐng)你，安吉爾，請(qǐng)你善待我！如果你來，我就可以在你懷里安息了！
I live only for you．Don't think I shall be bitter because you left me．I am so lonely without you，my darling！
我只是為了你才活著。不要以為你離我而去，我會(huì)怨恨什么。親愛的，沒有你，我是多么孤寂啊！
Haven't you ever felt one little bit of your love for me at the dairy？I am the same woman you fell in love with then，the very same．As soon as I met you，the past was dead for me．Can't you see this？
難道你沒有感覺到過一絲一毫你在牛奶場(chǎng)時(shí)對(duì)我的愛嗎？我沒變，我還是你以前愛上的那個(gè)女人，一點(diǎn)也沒變。當(dāng)初，我一見到你，過去的事情對(duì)我就都消亡了。難道你看不出這一點(diǎn)嗎？
How silly I was to trust that you would always love me！I ought to have known I couldn't be so lucky．
我有多傻呀，我一開始相信您會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)愛我的！我早就應(yīng)該知道，我是不可能這么幸運(yùn)的。
People say I am still rather pretty，Angel．But I don't care about my looks because you are not here．
安吉爾，人們說我依然是那么漂亮迷人。可是，因?yàn)槟悴辉谶@兒，我不關(guān)心我的容貌。
If you won't come to me，could I come to you？I'm so worried！I'm afraid I may fall into some wicked trap．Save me from what threatens me！
如果你不能到我這兒來。我能上你那兒去嗎？我是這么地?fù)?dān)心！我怕我也許會(huì)落入某個(gè)可怕的陷阱，我面臨危險(xiǎn)，救救我吧！
Your faithful heartbroken Tess
你忠實(shí)的心碎的妻子 苔絲
