Step 1: Don't call them 不要主動給父母打電話
Don’t call them—wait for them to phone. When they complain that they never hear from you, tell them calls cost money.

Step 2: Sound weak 電話時聽起來要很虛弱
Next time they call, sound weak. When they show concern, tell them you’re just a little tired from donating plasma for cash three times this week.

Step 3: Ask for canned goods 要一些罐裝的東西
Tell your mom you’d love her to send some of her homemade brownies—then ask if she could toss in a few canned goods as well.

Step 4: Too broke to come home 承認沒錢回家
Gently break it to them that you won’t be coming home for the holidays after all. When pushed, sheepishly admit you don’t have the money.

Step 5: Have response ready 想好“你是怎么花錢？”的回答
Have a good response ready when they ask what happened to all your money, like, “I’ve been eating out a lot to avoid the E. coli they keep finding in the cafeteria food.”

Step 6: Reinforce good behavior 告訴父母“他們是世界上最好的父母”
When they insist on replenishing your account, reinforce this good behavior by telling them they are the best parents in the whole wide world.