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作家朱迪斯·厄斯特曾寫道：“當(dāng)你覺得他像羅伯特·雷德福一樣儀表堂堂，像索爾仁尼琴一樣心地純潔，像伍迪·艾倫一樣言談風(fēng)趣，像吉米·康納斯一樣身體矯健，像阿爾伯特·愛因斯坦一樣頭腦聰明，那你就被愛沖昏了頭腦。當(dāng)你認(rèn)識(shí)到他在長(zhǎng)相方面像伍迪·艾倫，頭腦方面像吉米·康納斯，言談方面像索爾仁尼琴，身體方面像阿爾伯特·愛因斯坦，無論在哪一方面都不像羅伯特·雷德福——但你卻偏偏要嫁給他，這才是真正的愛。”
Take a Loving Look
How we see our partners often depends more on how we are than how they are.Husbands and wives are not audience, but participant observers in each other's lives.
"Before we were married, my husband was a caring, energetic man," a wife once told me. "He couldn't seem to keep his hands off me. Since we've been married, he's become a couch potato and watches ball games more than he watches me. He's gone from stud to spud."
"Very funny," answered the husband. "But have you looked at yourself lately? When we got married, you were beautiful. Now you wear that old robe. If I've gone from stud to spud, then you've gone from doll to drudge."
This hurtful, infantile argument illustrates how spouses, instead of looking for love, may look for flaws. It is a way of seeing.
Author Judith Viorst once wrote,"Infatuation is when you think he's as gorgeous as Robert Redford, as pure as Solzhenitsyn, as funny as Woody Allen, as athletic as Jimmy Connors, and as smart as Albert Einstein. Love is when you realize he's as gorgeous as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Solzhenitsyn, as athletic as Albert Einstenin, and nothing like Robert Redford in any category--but you'll take him anyway."
This law of lasting love instructs us to look with instead of for love.
