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Ok, here is the clinic for you guys out there on the “Dos and Don’ts” of finding emotional joy and carnal fulfillment in its most primitive form, if you get my drift.
好了，這是給你們開的診所，告訴你們什么是該做的，什么是不該做的如果你們明白我的意思，那就是在最原始的形式中尋找情感的快樂和肉體的滿足。
This male wildebeest dashes up to this herd of females, oblivious to the fact that other wildebeest males consider him about as welcome as a plague of locusts.
這只雄性角馬沖向這群雌性角馬，沒有注意到其他的雄性角馬認為它像蝗蟲一樣受歡迎。
See? You can't just move in on another guy's turf without getting, you know, clipped.
看到了嗎?你不可能在別人的地盤上移動而不被夾住。
But of course, our hero doesn't get the message, and doesn't stop trying to conjugate the verb.
但是，當然，我們的英雄并沒有得到這個信息，也沒有停止改變動詞形式。
He humps, they dump.
他弓起。他們弓起。
(Of) Course, he leaps to his feet, as if to say "Huh, yeah, I meant to do that.
(當然)他跳了起來，好像在說:“啊，是啊，我想那樣做。”
No problem. It's under control. I'm cool." "Yeah, right. "
(當然)他跳了起來，好像在說:“啊，是啊，我想那樣做。”
The male springbok antelope, however, has it all worked out.
然而，雄性羚羊卻把這一切都解決了。
His mating strategy is to gently touch flanks of the female as a way of asking if she wants to do what comes naturally.
他的交配策略是溫柔地撫摸雌性的側翼，以詢問她是否想做順水推舟的事情。
If we could put words to his actions:
如果我們可以用言語來形容他的行為：
"Ok, are you ready? Ah em, no?
“好了,你準備好了嗎?啊哦,不是嗎?
Ok, how about now?
好的,現在呢?
That's been five seconds.
5秒了。
Ok, um, how about now?
好，那現在呢?
Now? Is now OK? Ok, how about now?
現在？現在好嗎？好的,現在呢？
Ok, I'm gonna take that for a yes.
好吧，我就當是吧。
That, well,ok... Oops. Huh hem, wait a minute, it's ... Ok, standing still can also be a signal, so uh...
那,好吧…哦。哼哼，等一下，是……好的，站著不動也可能是一個信號，所以呃…
Yeah, you know, I'd better go back to that leg thing."
是啊，你知道，我最好還是回到那條腿上。”
In case you wonder just how primal the lust for the female really is, consider these two male lions.
如果你想知道雄性對的欲望到底有多原始，想想這兩只雄獅吧。
Pals, hunting partners.
朋友,打獵的伙伴。
You know, they're classic best buds, nothing can come between them.
你知道的，它們是經典的最佳拍檔，沒有什么能把它們分開。
That is until this Venus of the veldt.
直到這個大草原上的金星。
This leonine, a bit of feminine flush struts her stuff before the two of them. And then...
這個獅子，帶著雌性氣息在他們面前炫耀她的東西。然后……
Years of brotherly comradery torn asunder in seconds, slaughtered by Cupid's bow.
多年的兄弟情誼在幾秒鐘內被撕碎，被丘比特之弓屠殺。
The loser slinks away to lick his wounds.
失敗者溜走去舔傷口。
He's lost the girl and his best friend.
他失去了那個女孩和他最好的朋友。
Eh, but wait a minute.
嗯，但是等一下。
Haho, another female!
太棒了，還有一只雌獅子！
No, she is just here to toss another shovelful of dirt on the coffin.
不，她只是來把另一鏟土扔到棺材上。
Some days, you just can't win for losing.
有時候，輸了就贏不了。
