Fun With English 英文萬花筒

(一) Eddie and the Early Birds
For hotshot Eddie, it was a bitter pill to swallow. He had been playing in a rock and roll band called the Early Birds for a few weeks. Last night, the other members of the band kicked him out. They said he was too lazy and didn't practice often enough. Also, they didn't see eye-to-eye with Eddie over the kind of music he wanted to play.

"We're sick and tired of your attitude," said Dude Gimbal, the band's drummer. "You keep talking about making it big, but you're not prepared to make an effort. When you came late for the practice tonight, it was the last straw. We've decided to find another guitar player."

Though he was feeling blue when he woke up this morning, Eddie soon got over the setback. He decided that he would start another band and call it the Late Worms.

（二）The Lion and the Mouse

A lion was sleeping under a tree one day when a mouse ran into him and woke him up. The lion, upset that his sleep had been disturbed, caught the mouse. The mouse was scared that the lion would kill him, so he pleaded for mercy and apologized. Seeing how scared and sorry the little mouse was, the lion let him go.

Sometime later the lion got trapped in a hunter's net. He gave out a mighty roar, but he could not escape. Recognizing the lion's voice, the mouse ran over and began chewing at the net. In a few minutes the lion was freed from the net. Happy to be free again, the lion realized that his kindness had not been wasted.

--based on "Aesop's Fables"

MORAL: Little friends may prove great friends.

（三）Help Wanted

The telephone rings at the FBI headquarters.

"Hi, is this the FBI?" "Yes, it is. What do you want?" "I think you should know that my neighbor, Ron Spalding, is a drug dealer. He hides his drugs in his firewood."

The next day, many FBI officers arrive at Spalding's house in the country. They search the storehouse where the firewood is kept, breaking every piece of wood they see. They find no drugs and swear at Mr. Spalding as they leave. A little while later the telephone rings at Spalding's house.

"Hey, Ron? Did the FBI come?" "Yep." "Did they chop up all your firewood?" "They sure did!" "Great! Now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."

（一）埃迪之往事不堪回首

對(duì)自命不凡的埃迪來說，這口氣可真難以下咽。他在"早起鳥兒"這個(gè)搖滾樂團(tuán)已經(jīng)演出好幾個(gè)星期了。昨晚，樂團(tuán)的其他成員把他踢出了團(tuán)。他們說他太懶而且也不經(jīng)常練習(xí)。對(duì)埃迪想演奏的音樂類型，他們也無法認(rèn)同。

"我們討厭你的態(tài)度。"樂團(tuán)的鼓手杜德·金寶說。"你總說要讓樂團(tuán)大紅大紫，但你并不準(zhǔn)備好好努力。今晚的練習(xí)你又遲到，我們已經(jīng)對(duì)此忍無可忍了。我們決定要另找一名吉他手。"

雖然埃迪今早醒來心情很郁悶，但他很快從挫敗中恢復(fù)了。他決定另組一支樂團(tuán)，就叫它"晚起蟲兒"。

（二）獅子和老鼠

一天，一只獅子在樹下睡覺時(shí)，一只老鼠撞到了他，還把他吵醒了。獅子因睡眠被打擾而惱怒，他逮住了這只老鼠。老鼠害怕獅子把他殺掉，于是向獅子求饒道歉?？吹竭@只小老鼠一副驚慌失措、可憐兮兮的模樣，獅子把他放了。

不久，這只獅子被獵人設(shè)的陷阱網(wǎng)住了。他發(fā)出威猛的怒吼聲，卻無法逃脫。老鼠聽出了獅子的聲音，跑過去開始咬那張網(wǎng)。幾分鐘后，獅子從網(wǎng)中掙脫了出來。在重獲自由高興之余，獅子認(rèn)識(shí)到他的好心并沒有白費(fèi)。

─根據(jù)《伊索寓言》故事改編

寓意：微不足道的朋友可能成為了不起的朋友。

（三）服務(wù)到家，包您滿意

美國聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局總部的電話響了。"喂，是聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局嗎？""是的。你有什么事？""我想你們應(yīng)該知道我的鄰居，朗恩·斯伯丁是個(gè)毒販子。他把毒品藏在他的柴火堆里。"第二天，許多聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局官員來到斯伯丁的鄉(xiāng)下的房子。他們搜查了放柴火的儲(chǔ)藏室，并劈開他們看到的每一根木柴。他們什么毒品都沒找到，離開的時(shí)候還咒罵了斯伯丁一頓。過了一會(huì)兒，斯伯丁家的電話響了。"喂，是朗恩嗎？聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局的人來過了沒？" "來了。" "他們把你所有的木柴都劈好了嗎？" "當(dāng)然！" "太好了！現(xiàn)在輪到你打電話了。我的菜圃需要耕一耕。"