真誠懇切地對親近的人說一聲“I love you”可以使你變得tough-minded（柔韌，有耐心且平易近人），而同時會使得到你關心的人變得tough-minded（堅強）。但許多時候，這么簡單的三個字卻是難以出口的。因為我們常常會問：二者之間真有那么大的關系嗎？本文的主人公Big Ed就是經歷了這樣一個思想斗爭過程…… 　　

When I arrived in the city to present a seminar on Tough-Minded Management, a small group of people took me to dinner to brief me on the people I would talk to the next day. 　

The obvious leader of the group was Big Ed, a large burly man with a deep rumbling voice. At dinner he informed me that he was a troubleshooter for a huge international organization. His job was to go into certain divisions or subsidiaries to terminate the employment of the executive in charge.

* brief：我們都知道brief表示“短暫的”、“簡短的”等意思，是形容詞用法。而在本文里，顯而易見，它用做動詞。那么怎么講呢？brief用做動詞的意思是“向……介紹基本情況”。在本文中，主人就邀請作者參加晚宴，并把第二天要聽討論會的人介紹給他。 * burly ：是“高大結實的”、“率直的”等意思。

* rumble：“發出隆隆的聲音”的意思。由burly和rumble可以看出，本文的主人公Big Ed是一個粗獷而率直的人。他又高又壯，聲音洪亮，給人的第一印象肯定是，這個人不好惹，可不能犯錯啊。難怪會讓他當troubleshooter（糾紛調停人）呢！這樣那些troublemakers（惹是生非者）就該收斂一些了。 　

"Joe," he said, "I'm really looking forward to tomorrow because all of the guys need to listen to a tough guy like you. They're gonna find out that my style is the right one." He grinned and winked. 　

I smiled. I knew the next day was going to be different from what he was anticipating. 　

The next day he sat impassively all through the seminar and left at the end without saying anything to me.

* wink：“眨眼”的意思，Big Ed還是一個童心未泯的人呢！

* impassive：“無動于衷的”、“面無表情的”等意思，除了在會上impassive以外，Big Ed甚至在作者演講過后都沒打一聲招呼。為什么會這樣？是作者講的不精彩嗎？看完全文就知道了。

Three years later I returned to that city to present another management seminar to approximately the same group. Big Ed was there again. At about ten o'clock he suddenly stood up and asked loudly, "Joe, can I say something to these people?" 　

I grinned and said, "Sure, When anybody is as big as you are, Ed, he can say anything he wants." 　

Big Ed went on to say, "All of you guys know me and some of you know what's happened to me. I want to share it, however, with all of you. Joe, I think you'll appreciate it by the time I've finished. 　

"When I heard you suggest that each of us, in order to become really tough-minded, needed to learn to tell those closest to us that we really loved them, I thought it was a bunch of sentimental garbage. I wondered what in the world that had to do with being tough. You had said toughness is like leather, and hardness is like granite, that the tough mind is open, resilient, disciplined and tenacious. But I couldn't see what love had to do with it.

* sentimental garbage：sentimental表示“情感的”、“感傷的”等意思，而garbage是“垃圾”的意思，Big Ed認為作者講的只是讓人激動一會罷了，沒有什么大的用處。大家想想，和親近的人講I love you怎么就會變得tough-minded（意志堅強）呢？

* granite：“花崗巖”、“花崗石”的意思。toughness給人的感覺就象皮革，柔而韌，親切而堅韌不拔。而hardness就象花崗巖，硬硬的，讓人難受而不敢靠近。

* resilience：“彈性”、“適應力”的意思。resilient是它的形容詞形式。

* tenacious：“頑強的”，總之，a tough-minded person兼具resilience和tenacious，柔和堅兩種品格。可是，所有這些和love有什么關系呢？請聽下回分解！