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1. Welcome to St. Stephen’s Church on this happy day! We are here to celebrate the wedding of David and Juanita.
2. Does anyone here know of any reason why David and Juanita should not be married? If so, let them speak now.
3. Very well. Who gives this woman to be married to this man?
4. I do.
5. David, will you take Juanita as your wife? Will you love her,
6. be true to her, and care for her, from this day on?
7. I will.
8. Juanita, will you take David as your husband?
9. Will you love him, be true to him, and care for him, from this day on?
10. I will.
11. The ring, please.
12. Here you are.
13. It’s not for me, put it on her finger! I now pronounce David and Juanita man and wife!
14. Congratulations, David! It’s wonderful to see two people so in love with each other!
15. Yes, congratulations, David! But what about the cake?
16. Yes, it’s time to cut the cake!
17. Alright; come on, David!
18. Coming! I’ll just get a – what do you call it? – knife.
19. Ok, everybody, we’re ready to cake the cut – I mean, cut the cake! Oops!
20. Oh look, that’s very funny! David’s got a spoon instead of a knife.
21. You can’t cut a cake with a spoon, David! Oh, no, no!
22. Here you are, David. You can use my knife.
23. Thanks, Jeanette, very kind of you. Well, here we go!
24. Ok, my darling; we’ve made it! I’ve cut the cake.
25. Now, why don’t we sit down and have another glass of that delicious champagne?
26. You’re not having any more; you’ve drunk quite enough already!
27. Alright, alright. Wait a moment, where were we sitting anyway?
28. We were sitting next to your father over there.
29. Hold on! He’s not there any more; where’s he gone? where’s my Dad gone?
30. How should I know? Just sit down David, and stop being stupid!
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