老外直言：怎樣與老外交朋友
tswheresI come from you don't build friendships by pestering and badgering another person. Friendship for a lot of Westerners is about spending time with someone whose company you genuinely enjoy.It's not about opportunities or personal advantage.The Chinese friends I have made while living here have been genuine friends to me; we enjoy each other's company for its own sake.In this way, we've not only learnt a good deal about each other's culture but also about each other as individuals.
I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't approach foreigners at all. However, I do think that it's important to question your own motives. If you truly want to make friends with someone from a different country, who could possibly object?On the other hand, if your only motive is to "use" the foreigner as a way of improving your English, then it's quite likely that the foreigner will be able to see through you - and will definitely not want to spend time with you.
So if there's any advice to give on making and keeping friendships with foreigners, I would say that it is this:Treat foreigners as people, not opportunities.Expect to make friendships gradually, over a period of time, not instantly. And don't ply foreigners with lots and lots of disparate questions. At times, this approach comes across as confusing and unnatural.
Finally, I would suggest that if you really want to make friends with a foreigner, then you do so because you are genuinely interested in the person. We all know that true friendships stand the test of time. If your only reason for making friends with a foreigner is to upgrade your English, then you will probably find that you don't have a foreign friend for long!
老外直言：怎樣與老外交朋友
幾天前，有這樣一本書《怎樣和老外交朋友》，作者是因“瘋狂英語(yǔ)”而出名的李陽(yáng)。作為一個(gè)在中國(guó)生活了一年的外國(guó)人，我自然很想知道一位中國(guó)作者在這方面給出了什么樣的忠告。
有一條忠告真是吸引住了我，但我也不得不說(shuō)，這條忠告讓我很懊惱。按照李先生的觀點(diǎn)，外國(guó)人是你提高英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)水平的“機(jī)會(huì)”，只要見到外國(guó)人，你就應(yīng)該上前和他們練英語(yǔ)。作者進(jìn)一步說(shuō)道，如果某個(gè)外國(guó)人不想回答你的問(wèn)題，那他（她）就是一個(gè)粗魯?shù)娜耍莻�(gè)你不屑與之交往的人。我認(rèn)為這一忠告不僅不正確，還會(huì)給中國(guó)人和老外的關(guān)系帶來(lái)潛在的危害。
像多數(shù)住在中國(guó)的老外一樣，我知道生活在遠(yuǎn)離自己所熟悉的另一種文化當(dāng)中，有時(shí)會(huì)感到多么孤獨(dú)啊！但在多數(shù)情況下，我接受這種文化上的孤獨(dú)，將其作為生活在這兒的一部分。說(shuō)到底，我來(lái)這里是想了解中國(guó)人民和她的語(yǔ)言，如果我真的不喜歡這個(gè)地方，那我早就回國(guó)了。到目前為止，我在中國(guó)度過(guò)的時(shí)光非常有價(jià)值，我的中文水平提高了，了解了當(dāng)今世界上最有吸引力的、發(fā)展最快的一個(gè)國(guó)家，一些中國(guó)人也成了我親密的朋友。
但令人遺憾的是，我也撞見很多中國(guó)人，他們借口交朋友但卻只把我看成練口語(yǔ)的“機(jī)會(huì)”，有人從城里一直跟到我的學(xué)校宿舍，纏著我教他們英語(yǔ)，或是陪他們練口語(yǔ)；還有一些陌生人把文章、手冊(cè)、講稿塞到我面前要我?guī)兔Ψg；還有人要我?guī)退麄儗懸泼裆暾?qǐng)。所有這些人當(dāng)時(shí)都聲稱主要目的就是與我交朋友。在校園我所主持的每周英語(yǔ)角上，甚至有一個(gè)人不間斷地連問(wèn)了我半個(gè)小時(shí)的問(wèn)題后，在我有禮貌地請(qǐng)他也給別人一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)練英語(yǔ)時(shí)，他竟然生起氣來(lái)。他趾高氣揚(yáng)像只雄孔雀，告訴我他無(wú)非是想成為我的朋友。
他或許真的想成為我的朋友，但我來(lái)
