Do women cheat as much as men do?

by Erin Flaherty, Shine staf

That's the first question the latest infidelity studies point to. The second is: If you cheated on your spouse, would you even admit it to a researcher?

Historically, the male sex gets most of the flak when it comes to infidelity among spouses. But that could be due to those tired old gender roles we're cast in. A recent New York Times report implies that women may simply be more likely to lie about it for that very reason. Research professor of anthropology at Rutgers Helen E. Fisher suggests that, “Men want to think women don’t cheat, and women want men to think they don’t cheat, and therefore the sexes have been playing a little psychological game with each other.” Fun!

“Is it that men are bragging about it and women are lying to everybody including themselves?” she asks. Makes sense. After all, it's no secret that the widely held double standard that men who cheat are "studs" while women are "sluts" is still disturbingly prevalent.

Still, the changes in the landscape of cheating have surprised researchers who have found that infidelity is on the rise and "women appear to be closing the adultery gap: younger women appear to be cheating on their spouses nearly as often as men."

That's not to say that the guys are entirely off the hook. Medical advances like Viagra and erectile dysfunction remedies ensure that those with XY chromosomes can cheat longer and um, stronger. But when it comes to the younger set, women may be finding more opportunities to cheat via interoffice affairs and the good 'ole World Wide Web. While men might be content to "stray" by looking at porn--a relatively benign form of infidelity in the grand scheme of things--Atlanta psychiatrist Dr. Frank Pittman notes that he's observed more women acknowledging sexual affairs that began with electronic contact born out of the desire to emotionally connect with someone on a more intimate (and therefore stereotypically "feminine") level.

So yes, it would appear that women certainly cheat more than they're usually given credit for. (Of course, who wants to take credit for something as damaging as an extramarital affair?) But when it comes to our original second question pertaining to the idea that the fairer sex is more likely to lie about it due to societal double standards, one wonders if the modern woman has just become more open about her transgressions than in the past?

In the absence of hard and fast numbers--as opposed to all this admittedly speculative research--when it comes to adultery, here's the real question for the ladies out there: Have you ever cheated and well, kept mum about the damn thing? (As opposed to say, bragging about your conquests in the locker room or whatever?)

這是最新背信研究所指向的第一個(gè)問(wèn)題：是否女人和男人一樣愛(ài)說(shuō)謊？第二個(gè)問(wèn)題是：如果你對(duì)你的配偶不忠，你是否會(huì)向研究員承認(rèn)。

從以前的觀點(diǎn)來(lái)看，當(dāng)提到配偶之間背叛的事男性都會(huì)大大的吹噓一番。這種背叛或許是因?yàn)閰捑肓斯爬系男詣e角色。最近《紐約時(shí)報(bào)》報(bào)道暗示女人在配偶背叛問(wèn)題上更趨向于說(shuō)謊。羅格斯大學(xué)的人類(lèi)學(xué)研究教授海倫-費(fèi)希爾建議說(shuō)：&ldo?quo;男人都想著女人不會(huì)說(shuō)謊，女人也希望男人如此認(rèn)為，因此男女之間開(kāi)始在相互之間玩一些心理游戲。”非常有趣！

她問(wèn)：&ldo?quo;是否男人愛(ài)在這事上吹牛而女人卻對(duì)任何人都說(shuō)謊甚至是自己。”有意思。畢竟，這沒(méi)有任何秘密，有兩種標(biāo)準(zhǔn)在評(píng)判男女背叛的事，當(dāng)男人背叛的時(shí)候就比較“緘默” 而女性“放蕩”卻鄰人不安的廣為傳揚(yáng)。

在背叛上的變化令研究人員很吃驚，他們發(fā)現(xiàn)背叛呈現(xiàn)上升的趨勢(shì)，同時(shí)女性似乎在縮小這種差距：年輕的女性背叛配偶的頻率和男人是一樣的。

這并不是說(shuō)男人都擺脫了這種背叛的困境。醫(yī)學(xué)方面的進(jìn)步像“偉哥”等藥物能讓XY染色體的男性背叛的更為長(zhǎng)久和強(qiáng)烈。但是到比較年輕的一代，女性更容易找到背叛的機(jī)會(huì)，比如說(shuō)在辦公室之間，還有網(wǎng)絡(luò)。同時(shí)男性過(guò)于沉迷色情文學(xué)--在這一大類(lèi)事上算一種相對(duì)良好的行為--亞特蘭大精神病醫(yī)生弗蘭克-皮特曼指出他發(fā)現(xiàn)大多女性起初知道性事是通過(guò)網(wǎng)絡(luò)的接觸，繼而希望與某人在感情接觸上發(fā)展到更加親密的程度。

是的，顯然女性的背叛行為比他們承認(rèn)的多。（當(dāng)然，誰(shuí)都不想分享這種只會(huì)帶來(lái)?yè)p害的事）但是當(dāng)我們回到最初的第二個(gè)問(wèn)題，女性更趨向于說(shuō)謊是因?yàn)樯鐣?huì)的雙重標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，有人就想是否現(xiàn)代女性對(duì)于自己的背叛會(huì)更加的開(kāi)放？

由于缺少?lài)?yán)格的數(shù)據(jù)--作為反對(duì)這些無(wú)可否認(rèn)的投機(jī)的研究---當(dāng)遭遇到通奸行為的時(shí)候，各位女士的問(wèn)題就出現(xiàn)了：你是否有背叛行為，是否對(duì)這該死的事保持沉默。（把這些都隱藏起來(lái)，藏在一個(gè)上鎖的房子或者其他地方）